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Original poster

Declining invite

47 replies

Hanjipan · 16/01/2020 20:05

Youngest has had a birthday party invitation, I'll be honest I just don't want to go. He's only 4, I thought this wouldn't start till he started school. My older kids didn't start going to birthday parties until they started school. How do I word the reply? I don't really have an excuse and hate lying is it ok to just say " thanks for the invite for "little Jonny" , I'm sorry we won't be able to make it but hope "little freddie" has a lovely day. Is that ok to not give a reason? Or is that rude?

OP posts:

Muchtoomuchtodo · 16/01/2020 20:26

Just send your text. It’s fine and you’ll be inundated with invitations once he’s in school.

goldface · 16/01/2020 20:27

My kids thoroughly enjoyed themselves at parties at 4, I took them cos they loved them not cos I did! And tbh was a fairly effort free way of them having a fun afternoon.
What will you do instead?

Herpesfreesince03 · 16/01/2020 20:28

Do they even want you to stay? Can’t you drop him off and pick him up after?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

4 year olds

Shushpat · 16/01/2020 20:35

Fuck that! Not rude, just say you can't make it. I'm sure it won't ruin their day.

flopsytheflatcat · 16/01/2020 20:39

Just say you're busy. I'm with you, my idea of sheer hell and you know you've got more of this hell once school has started. Avoid where possible. I can't actually believe some parents enjoy these parties but I think some really do - more than their kids.

CommunistLegoBloc · 16/01/2020 20:39

So because he's the youngest, he has to miss out as you've been there and done that?

Dinnaehinksae · 16/01/2020 20:40

Your response is fine, I think generally rsvping is more important than the actual reason.

PatchworkElmer · 16/01/2020 20:42

Your response is fine.

I also think it’s sad that you won’t take him- my DS is 3, he definitely knows what a party is and he definitely talks about parties he’s been to at nursery. Your child will surely hear his friends talking about it. I think that parties are lovely for them at this age.

Peoplearemiserable · 16/01/2020 20:43

So because you’ve done it loads of times with his older siblings you can’t be arsed anymore? Nice, he’s missing out because everyone else has done it before.

HeyMac · 16/01/2020 20:50

I personally think it's odd. Most 4 year olds are at parties constantly. Mines has four over two weekends shortly.

Katypyee · 16/01/2020 20:54

I understand. I wouldn't fancy going to a kids' party at a house full of people I didn't know either.

Your son is 4, there will be other parties. It isn't selfish at all for you not to go. Time is precious and we already spend so much time feeling obliged to do things we do not want to do.

Does you DS want to go? If so, could you just suck it up and go for a bit? If he really doesn't care and you don't want to go, then just text back 'Thanks for the invite to A's birthday party. Unfortunately we cannot make it. We appreciated the invite and hope A has a great time.'

There will be plenty more parties. It gets even better when you can just leave them there.

Is it selfish? Perhaps. But who cares? People need to take more time to be selfish and do what they want to do instead of trying to people please everybody.

GoingBackTo505 · 16/01/2020 21:01

I'm not sure any adults idea of a fun time is going to kids parties, but we don't do it for ourselves. I feel so sad for your little boy.

Useful22 · 16/01/2020 21:02

My 3 year old was upset we didnt invite his class to his birthday so of course a 4 year old is aware. His friends will talk about it as well. Doesnt matter how you reply, sad your kid misses out. Nobody wants to go but we do! For the kids!

Babybel90 · 16/01/2020 21:09

My 2 year old knows about parties and looks forward to them so I’m sure your 4 year old would, it’s quite sad you can’t be bothered to take him, what else can’t you be bothered to do with him?

dustyphoenix · 16/01/2020 21:10

Oh my gosh OP, I totally get you. Particularly if he didn't know about the invite (or had forgotten ) then I'd definitely swerve. My kids always found them overwhelming and I always saw them as a bit pointless unless I knew the child/family.

I'd just reply saying thanks for the invite, sorry X can't make it - hope you have a lovely time!

Crunchymum · 16/01/2020 21:18

Well if you are such as expert OP, why did you start a thread?

I'm actually bamboozled as to why you can't just compose a "sorry we already have plans but thanks so much for the invite" type message???

Mole hills and mountains come to mind!!!

74NewStreet · 16/01/2020 21:23

It’s extraordinarily odd to dismiss your child with a “he’s four, he doesn’t know what day it is”.
The other party guests will also be four. Maybe they’re just more switched on than your kid, op?

bethg21 · 16/01/2020 21:33

response to the invitation is okay, your attitude however suck !

UhKevin · 16/01/2020 21:35

Poor kid.

katy1213 · 16/01/2020 21:57

He'll survive missing one party! My idea of hell, too - and you'll have years of this to come.

lljkk · 16/01/2020 21:58

Response counts:

Ways to say no thanks: 8
Criticism of OP: 9
Ways to let him go that are easy enough: 2
Other comments: 7

OP: You lot are such meanies!!

ps: mine never got invited to 'lots' of parties. I feel very deceived by MN into thinking that's common.

TrainspottingWelsh · 16/01/2020 22:20

Just be honest.

'Thanks for the invite but I don't want to bring ds. I take my older dc to parties, and there's no personal enjoyment for me, therefore no motivation to bring ds. Plus ds is only 4, and in my head that's conveniently too young for parties'

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