Childminder has contacted me to say she no longer wants to look after my baby

[Moonshine160]

I am due to go back to work (part time, 3 days a week) from maternity leave at the end of Feb and found a childminder for my little boy in July last year. She seemed a lovely lady and worked alongside her husband who was equally as nice, lots of qualifications, ofsted registered etc. I know it was a bit early but I wanted to be prepared and let DS get used to her. She has looked after DS four times over the last few weeks which I paid for, just an hour ‘taster sessions’ each time at her recommendation, and he was going to start going weekly as of next week, gradually increasing the hours until I go back to work to get him settled in. He was fine during his taster sessions, just played happily apart from the third session when he was teething and cried. The childminder phoned me 15 mins after dropping him off and asked me to collect him because he was upset. She said that she wouldn’t do that when I'm back at work but she didn’t want him having negative associations with being there and she was struggling to look after the other children with him crying. So I collected him and he had an hours taster session two weeks after and he was fine again. A baby girl the same age as DS had also been having taster sessions, and according to the childminder she cried throughout all of them and she described her to me as being ‘very high needs’. I directly asked her at this point (at least two months ago now) if having my little boy was going to be a problem and she said no. The little girl that cries started last week, and after being 3 days in the childminder phoned me to say that she was in bed with a migraine as she’d had a bad week and can no longer look after my DS because she won’t be able to give him enough care and attention and blamed it on the other baby crying all day.

I was understandably angry and upset and ended up hanging up on her when she said to me ‘can’t your mum help instead?’. The childminder only works mon-weds so I had picked these to be my working days for this reason, and my mum has altered her work days to look after DS on Mondays and the childminder was having him Tuesdays and Wednesdays. I had deliberately found a childminder as early as I did because there isn’t that much choice in my area. I have contacted all childminders in my town and surrounding towns and no one has any availability at such short notice. There are two nurseries, both of which are full at the moment but one has spaces coming up late May. At the moment it’s looking like I’m going to have to take time off work unpaid until DS can get a space at nursery. Luckily work have been understanding about it but I am so stressed and panicking now. I don’t want to just send him any old place and I really wanted him to have time to settle in somewhere.
Sorry for the long post, I’m not sure what advice I’m asking for really but I just wanted to have a rant about it to people who understand what a shit situation this is to be in. :(

When I went back to work I had a child minder arranged. My kids started with her (aged 4 & 2). The child minder also took on a baby at the same time. Everything seemed ok, although my daughter wasn’t overly happy going to her. 3 months down the line the child minder tells my friend to tell me that she couldn’t have my kids any more! She didn’t even tell me herself! I was a bit miffed at the time as was settled back in at work and didn’t have a clue what to do. I’d never use a childminder again after that. My 3rd child is at a nursery, and although more expensive is a million times better.

I also wanted chip in to say that not all childminders are like that. I am on my second childminder now due to relocating and she is brilliant. My first childminder was also amazing and so reliable. She was absolutely fantastic with my DS and I would have her back in a heartbeat if I could. He has also been to 2 nurseries and they was fine too.. more expensive I must add but I needed flexibility with times and days, that's why I decided to go with a childminder and touch wood, all is well. Please do not think they're all like that because they aren't give them a chance. You live and learn! Sometimes nurseries have to close too. I remember nursery closing because their boiler packed up and second time was due to heavy snow.

You've had a lucky escape, she's in it for the money and nothing else. Presume you didn't sign a contract?

I do not think the childminder is 'flaky' or 'unreliable'. Being reliable is saying NO to things you cannot do.Sounds like she cannot cope with two crying babies. It is her call, you know?By the way, Migraine is extremely debilitating and is a horrible illness.
But I am sorry for your situation.

It's a pain but I would wait until your child can go to nursery.

As you've found, Childminders are but one person so if there are any issues or problems they are difficult to resolve if at all, at least with nurseries they have multiple staff and are less likely to let you down.

Of all the childcare I used, childminders were the most difficult. I know the majority are lovely people but they are also the most unreliable.

In my experiences with childminders v nursery, I would use a cm again. My first one was great. But when she quit with four weeks notice I also had to consider resigning which was so stressful. I found another cm but she was sick every week. I had to pay her four weeks sick leave in a few months and then she put her fees up 30%. I told her I couldn't afford her any more as it was then not worth me working for about £20 a day after childcare costs, tax etc. She could get her head around the fact that I didnt make enough to pay her a extra 30%. I found a full time nursary for less money. Also when I didnt like something I could complain to the manager and not the one person spending all day with my child

This is very unprofessional of the CM.I would be furious too. All I can comment is that she does not sound very capable from what you say. All babies go through teething and off days but she should be able to cope, if that is her job. Look around for another child minder and book him in nursery for May.