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When did having two DC get easier for you?

37 replies

username4689421 · 13/01/2020 13:12

I have a 2 year old and a 6 week newborn. I know it's still early days and I keep reminding myself I found it just as hard at first with my toddler. Just wondering when others found it became easier with 2 DC?
Finding it hard to even get out the house when it's just me as toddler likes to run off and doesn't like sitting in a pram for long so I doubt a double buggy would help.

OP posts:
NemophilistRebel · 13/01/2020 13:13

Would a buggy board help?

Otherwise no advice unfortunately as our number 2 is coming in spring

username4689421 · 13/01/2020 13:18

Thanks @NemophilistRebel I have thought of trying one. DH doesn't think toddler will stay on it for long but might be worth a try. Congratulation on your pregnancy Smile

OP posts:
ilovepuggies · 13/01/2020 13:20

It gradually starts to get better after every few weeks but I mainly noticed it not being better when the baby fitted in more with my eldest’s routine ie meal times bath time bedtime routine so around 6 months. When the baby starts crawling and doing funny things your older one will find it funny and they will want to copy each other. I can remember it just being about getting through the day / night hour by hour. Make sure your drinking lots of fluids, having some treats and meeting up / getting in touch with people who you can really chat to.

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Notwhatiexpected1 · 13/01/2020 13:20

Would reigns help? It is a tricky age when they want to run off, hence why I was never early for anything I'd rather be just on time rather than chase round my child waiting for ages

MyEnormousTurnip · 13/01/2020 13:22

I’m still waiting and mine are 11 and 12 Grin

But seriously, I’m not sure at what point it does get easier but it will do. It’s lovely when the baby is about 4/5/6mths old and the toddler realises they can make them laugh/play with them. Both personalities really shine through then in my experience and it’s very heartwarming. Not sure if that makes things easier though!?

6wks is early days as you say so keep plodding on.

InABigCountry · 13/01/2020 13:22

It's very difficult I know, there is 21 months between my two. I had a double buggy for the two. Unless you use a sling for the baby. This time of year doesn't help with this weather. Are there any toddler or playgroups you can go to? The older one needs to burn off energy, I took mine to parks when I could. It's such a tiring time, does get easier eventually! Is there anyone who can take the toddler for an hour or two to give you a rest? FlowersBrew

ilovepuggies · 13/01/2020 13:23

Ps I used a Tula (in and outside of the house) which is a baby carrier. It was amazing as it meant I had both arms and hands free for my eldest. You can get a Tula or ergo or something similar second hand on eBay.

StuntCroissant · 13/01/2020 13:23

I have a slightly smaller age gap (18 months) and they're now 1 and 3. Logistically I still find it tricky even with a double buggy. The 3 year old doesn't want to sit for long at all but I can't trust the 1 year old to walk very far or sensibly.

We tend to only go places where I can let them run without worrying (big parks, the beach, National Trust places etc). If just going short distances I use a stroller and hold 3-year-old's hand. My town has tiny pavements and many elderly residents (who clearly also cannot hop on and off the pavement) so it does put me off taking them out sometimes!!

StuntCroissant · 13/01/2020 13:24

Having said all of that, they do play together now and it's really lovely to see!!

IamPickleRick · 13/01/2020 13:27

I am also still waiting. Different ages mean different difficulties. When one couldn’t walk so I always had to carry one, when one would sleep through and the other wasn’t and would wake them up, when one was crawling and the other potty training, school run with two babies and a pushchair whilst one was napping, when they get to 2 and 3 and start fighting... list goes on.

The middle one starts school in September with the older one so I will just have days with the toddler so I’m expecting it to ease up massively then.

IamPickleRick · 13/01/2020 13:32

My tip though, is that if the toddler wants to run, let them. I’d go for a long walk in the morning in a park that was safe, let them roam a bit, picking up leaves, jumping about, get them nice and tired so that I could guarantee an easy nap before pick up time for the eldest. Sometimes they’d even nap together which was a dream come true for me! Don’t worry about weather, coming in from the cold just seems to get them sleepier Grin

Bluewavescrashing · 13/01/2020 13:35

Age 3 (youngest)

Both able to sleep 12 hours a night, understand consequences, feed, dress and toilet themselves, operate a TV remote control, open the biscuit tin, tidy toys away, brush own teeth, watch an entire film, put shoes on.

Not always willing, but able!

Settlersofcatan · 13/01/2020 13:39

It's a lot easier now that the baby is 6 months because he eats solids - blw so I don't have to feed him and can sit and eat my lunch while both kids eat theirs. Also we sleep trained so he now sleeps through..

WTFdidwedo · 13/01/2020 13:42

Mine are 1.5 and just 3 (18 month gap) and it's an absolute nightmare still for us (sorry!) I only leave the house with someone else and never alone as they were both clingy screamers and my youngest walked at 9 months so has been bolting ever since. I'm hoping when they're about 3 and 5 it will be more manageable.

Aquilla · 13/01/2020 14:09

After toilet training!

Invisimamma · 13/01/2020 14:13

It's just getting easier for us now, my boys are 9 and 5. Up until now everything was such a juggle and there just wasn't enough of me to go around and I was under a constant shadow of parental guilt!

I'm not sure my experience has been typical though and saying that as they get older things get easier, maybe from age 3 onwards.

Peacenquiet2 · 13/01/2020 14:20

Have 3dc, all over 6 now and it's gotten much easier, I'd say once middle dc got to reception age and knew not run off whilst we were out etc, it was easier. Having said that my eldest dc was very sensible and knew this from a younger age, so when I had dc 2 I didn't find getting out that hard. However dc 2 was less sensible and babyish so was harder to get out with dc3 and dc 2 together at first. Hope that m
akes sense. So it It will depend on the personalities of your dc too. Ultimately though it does get easier in terms of leaving toddler and baby issues behind, and then other problems arise, my eldest is now a teen.

namechangenewness · 13/01/2020 14:23

I had a double buggy but eldest was lazy unless doing an activity that she wanted to do. Having a screeching child in a buggy would be preferable to me than elder one running off. I spent a lot of time in national trust properties as safe to run around and usually a decent cafe.
As pp said once youngest turned 3 it was a whole lot easier, obviously they fight over toys now but they do also help and support each other a lot. Luckily they've both been fab sleepers.

vikkimoog · 13/01/2020 14:32

you need reins or a wrist strap

BriefDisaster · 13/01/2020 15:54

Well mine are 6 and 3 and I feel like I am finally getting my sanity back only in the past few months (their constant fighting aside). This is because they can now both walk everywhere so no more buggies, both are toilet trained so no more nappies and both can be amused by a lot of the same TV shows to give me 15 mins peace here and there.

But it does get easier bit by bit, it didn't just happen over night its been so gradual that I didn't even notice it.

It can be so hard at the start OP but it all will pass (quicker than you realise), just go easy on yourself and do anything you can to make life a little easier.

I also agree about a buggy board.

IamPickleRick · 13/01/2020 18:13

I agree Peacenquiet2, if my younger two had been like my eldest, life would have been easy. But they aren’t, they are 15 months apart and fight and whinge all day long. They are such lovely kids when separated, so hopefully when one goes to school in September it’ll be easier! I don’t really have a problem getting them out of the house on my own tbh, if I did I’d never get to school, it’s just the constant whinge.

avocadoze · 13/01/2020 18:18

When number 3 arrived I realised what a breeze 2 had been 😂

tappitytaptap · 13/01/2020 18:22

Mine are 3.9 and 15 months. I expect I would find it a bit easier when the youngest sleeps through (he’s up 4 or 5 times a night) but I feel more capable in ‘managing’ the two of them if that makes sense? Just hard work! My youngest walked before one and is a very steady and competent walker now which is great but I do find he doesn’t want to stay in the buggy now so some activities can be quite stressful when they are both ‘on the loose’... luckily my oldest is at an age when he can generally be trusted to follow instructions but when I’m on my own with them (I have a day off in the week) it’s often more tiring then being at work!

Stayawayfromitsmouth · 13/01/2020 18:23

Can you manage baby in a sling? I recommend the ergo baby carrier. Then you can keep hold of/ chase after 2yo.
I had a 2yo when dc2 was born. Dc1 was also a runner. A technique that worked for me was to keep him engaged. So if out for a walk make sure there are some interesting things to find along the way. Sticks are very interesting or bugs or rocks. If he has started going away from you and runs further when called, find an interesting thing on the ground and make it sound really exciting. They usually come over to have a look. Failing that make sure you have some sweets or raisins in your pocket to tempt them back.
I tended to only take them out to quiet places. Eg park in the early morning.
It gets easier.

namechangenewness · 13/01/2020 18:28

@avocadoze when did 3 start to get tough? DC3 is still young and a good baby so I'm finding it okay at the moment.

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