When did having two DC get easier for you?

[username4689421]

I have a 2 year old and a 6 week newborn. I know it's still early days and I keep reminding myself I found it just as hard at first with my toddler. Just wondering when others found it became easier with 2 DC?
Finding it hard to even get out the house when it's just me as toddler likes to run off and doesn't like sitting in a pram for long so I doubt a double buggy would help.

Mine were easy to start newborn and 18month old. I found the jump from no children to one child much harder, than one child to two children.

Got tricky from 6 months and 2 years. Literally they went in opposite directions, at speed, everywhere we went .

My eldest got very good at walking and holding the buggy tbh, once that happens life was easier.

I didn't do trips to town with them, but went to every local baby group going. I think we had something to get out for everyday bar Thursdays and Saturdays!

I found it got easier around 3-4 months when feeding was slightly more spread out, then harder again when DS2 started crawling and then walking as he became more of a threat to DS1's games/space. Then it got a bit easier again at 18m when they started being able to co-exist peacefully for short periods of time. They are now 5 and nearly 2 and it is generally manageable but still pretty hard work. I don't know how people manage more than 2 children.

My d dad (May he RIP) - a fount of wisdom - reckoned that the best bit of baby advice he had first 51 years were the worst... I was in my early 20s when he told me this and I still haven’t hit 51...

Probably not quite what you were hoping for - sorry.

I think things do start to get easier and the challenges change as they grow - being able to leave the eldest on their own for a few minutes while you sort out the little one, being able to leave both of them alone for long enough to go to the loo and so on - enjoy and cherish each of these important milestones that never seem to get mentioned in the ‘proper’ parenting books!

19 and 21.

I have a 20 month age gap and being honest not for at least a year.

When dc2 turned 3 it got easier again, and now they’re 7 & 5 it is super easy because they entertain each other all the time. DH & I barely need to do anything with them and because they’re close in age they have a lot of the same interests, days out are easy etc etc.

Focus on a solution for the toddler so you can get out & about - even if that means being v strict about enforcing eg being strapped in buggy. I found having a second baby meant I lost sight a bit of just how little dc1 still was - with hindsight we expected way too much of her and needed to remember she was still a baby too.

When I had my third?

More seriously, and the cause of the accidental third, there’s something about the second toddler stage which made a real difference. They have their own personality, they play nicely together, I had got over the thought I’d wrecked my eldest’s life, etc.

From when they were 4 and 2, I found two much easier than one as they entertained each other. (So much so that I had number 3!).

In the more immediate term, I think from when you can plink baby down on a mat and they don't fall over or crawl off

Mine started getting on when they were about 15 and 17

However, re going out, reins are what you need.
I'd get a double buggy too - if you need to go out, then it doesn't really matter whether he 'likes it' or not. You need to keep him safe.

Everyone saying reins, they don't suit every child. My eldest was fine on them, then I had dc2 (nightmare child ). Reins on him just don't work. If he wants to go in the direction we are not going he throws himself on the floor reins or not

OP mine are 2.5 and 18 months now and to be honest I still find it hard, especially getting out. It is gradually getting easier in some respects, but like others have said things just get replaced by other things. They both want out the buggy now rather than just the eldest. Guarantee of a run off in different directions. Any outing has to be planned even down to which park we go to as to how safe it is keeping kids contained etc if I'm alone with them (you can guarantee one of them will bolt in front of a swing or zip line so I don't go alone hardly ever).

But it's easier in that I only need a couple of nappies, pack of wipes and some water and snacks rather than a great big changing bag with bottles and bottle warmer etc etc

It does get easier with time, hang on in there!

Would it help if your 2 year old was on a scooter (with a strap so you can keep hold of him)?

Or a trike with a parent handle so you can push?
Or a balance bike?

Then you carry baby in a sling so you have both hands free for the toddler.

Obviously it will depend on your child, but for both of mine, I found that a different 'transport mode ' (scooter, trike, bike) helped for that awkward stage where they couldn't/wouldn't walk a long way but no longer wanted to be in the pushchair.

3/ 5 was a game changer, but DS1 wasn't diagnosed with ASD until 8 which explains why his toddler years were so intense and so, so long (10m to 7.5!). DS2 was pretty placid and easy company. He got mobile quickly though and was a daredevil (I say was...he's still adventurous and energetic!)

Features of the early stages were the lengthy tag-teamed naps that destroyed most afternoons, especially as they found the car soporific, so doing anything not pram-based was logistically hard. DS1 has a lot of sensory issues with clothes still, and as a 2 year old unable to express it, getting dressed to get out of the house was a regular, major screaming battle. Places like the supermarket were in hindsight sensory overload. Unfortunately DS1 had several major food allergies, so I had to shop across 4 supermarkets and could not do a week's shop online. 10:30-1pm was about our window for getting out with minimal distress to all concerned.

I was so glad to return to teaching teenagers part time for some civilised, rational company

We survived and still love eachother

I have an 18 month gap between my boys and they are 2.5 and just turned 1. They are just starting to follow each other and play. This eve they were chasing each other in circles- I use a stroller and hold my toddler's hand. Occasionally if we are going further afield, I use double as I don't have the car in the week. I am finding it easier as they play with the same stuff however, they are fighting over toys now and getting territorial. I would get a buggy board or a second hand double or a carrier. I find being out easier than indoors- park, toddler groups, coffee mornings (they share toast and have milk). I put them in the bath together and they now have the same bedtime which is a huge advantage!