Anyone up late? Please help a new mum!

[Ohdear8]

Hi MN.
I gave birth 5 days ago to my much longed for baby boy. He's my first baby and I want to do the very best I can for him.
Unfortunately I was not very successful with breastfeeding. My nipples were torn up and bleeding by day 3. So on day 4 we caved and got a hand pump and some formula so I could try and rehydrate in order to pump. I did manage to give him all my colostrum at least.
I got DP to give him the formula bc I was so upset that I just cried. My midwife didn't really help as she made me feel kind of judged for pumping rather than having him on the breast.
He has had a total of 3 formula feeds, with the rest being pumped breast milk. He is a hungry/sucky baby and gulps it down happily.
I thought that we had finally cracked feeding today but then he's had a very watery yellow nappy that smells of vinegar.

I've looked around on the internet- have I made my son sick by combined feeding methods??
Now that I'm up and worried about him I can't stop and now I'm even freaking out about the noises he makes when he breathes!
He is only 5 days old and I already feel that I have failed him.
Please help

I honestly doubt you've broken him. I haven't BF however had moments of mad panic with mine when he was being sick a coloured liquid and was also so loud when he breathed as a newborn. My HV confirmed that he was totally normal and I'm sure if you spoke with yours they would say the same.
Hopefully there will be people with knowledge of BF that can help you out but you're doing fine. Congratulations by the way!

Please please dont panic. I combination fed both my very healthy children. As a very wise midwife said to me as I cried over breastfeeding yet again parenting is not just about successful breastfeeding. You sound like your going to be an amazing caring mum.

It’s fine to combination feed. I have done it with all four kids. BM is much easier to digest, that’s all.

Are you still sore? Have you tried Lansinoh? If you want to try to keep on with bf you still need to stick him on the boob as pumping won’t keep your supply up enough. But if your in agony it’s honestly fine to stop. Believe me you won’t care when you look back. But it’s emotional choice to make so try to get some proper RL support. My hospital has a BF clinic and NCT does BF help and call outs too.

You are doing fine. Your not hurting him. Formula is thoroughly proven to be safe

Watery yellow poo is normal by day 5. Not sure about the vinegar smell though.
I'm pretty sure you haven't made him ill by combine feeding. Lots of people do it. It's perfectly fine. Fed is best!
Can you call your midwife triage if you are worried? They also usually help with feeding questions.
If not, call them in the morning or your healthvisitor. They'll be able to check hom over and reassure you.

Looking after a baby is stressful to start with but it gets better.

Don’t worry, combination feeding is totally normal and you haven’t failed himin any way.

Unless you are determined to pick up bf again, I’d stop pumping and just go with the formula.

Of all the parenting decisions you will have to make, this isn’t a major decision for your baby. But you’re not unreasonable to feel like it is.

You’ll be fine

I pumped and also FF'd my older boy because there wasn't really any choice with dire support, which sounds similar to your situation. He had a tongue tie but it was missed by everyone until he was 6 weeks old. My nipples did eventually heal!

Can you get to some decent BF support local to you? abm.me.uk/find-a-local-breastfeeding-support-group/ would be a start.

You haven't broken him! Hang in there...

I combination fed my little girl OP from 5 days old and she is perfectly healthy and happy now at 22 months. If I remember correctly the dirty nappies come in all colours and smells when brand new :) but if you are ever worried though please call out of hours and never worry that you are wasting people's time with a young baby xx

That sounds like normal poo! It should be korma-coloured and watery by day 5, so that's a good sign :)

Please don't feel guilty about combination feeding, and of course you haven't harmed your baby by doing so - plenty of people do it and formula is perfectly safe. Kudos to you for expressing - it's seriously hard work keeping that up. And, as you said, you've given him colostrum so he's had all the best stuff :)

Oh gosh I remember the fear only too well. I had to switch to a prescription formula as my little one was lactose intolerant. He wouldn’t take it and my milk had already started to dry up and I thought in my mind he would starve to death. 😱😱 Birth and motherhood do that to you.

I think it’s fine to be seeing strange poo at this stage with your little one, especially in the first few weeks. There insides are just kick starting and learning on how to poo out food. I can always remember the midwife saying it can look like korma ! Sorry!

You sound like a perfectly loving mum. Just try to relax and if you need any reassures call the health visitor in the morning. X

Okay, breathe! You have not broken your baby. You have done exactly what is best for both for you at the time. As a MW I would definitely say you can often see a difference in their poos depending on whether they are breast, bottle or combo fed. Remember his little digestive system is still adjusting, he's only been here for 5 days, which might feel like forever for you but it's really not! If he is waking for feeds, eating good amounts, settled afterwards, weeing good amounts and his poo has transitioned from that lovely black meconium to watery yellow poo (sometimes looks like it has seeds in it) they are all good signs. However, if you are worried there should be a number on your hospital notes that's is 24 hours (like a maternity ward or postnatal ward) who can chat through this stuff with you and reassure you (and trust me, middle of the night phone calls like that are very common!) and obviously if you are ever very concerned there is A+E.

Breathe, you've got this!

Edit: watery, yellow, korma-like poo (wish there was an edit function)

At 5 days old your baby probably still has some of the stuff inside him from before he was born. Don't worry, as long as you are making up the feeds correctly it will be ok. The first 24 hours the pooh is normally that awful black stuff that sticks like glue & then it gradually changes colour. As long as they are having plenty of wet & dirty nappies & aren't looking unwell you are doing fine.

Thank you for the replies. I have a midwife coming tomorrow so I will go over this all with her.

Pumping has been going pretty well but I just can't seem to get ahead of him. I'll pump a feed and he wants it before I can get another in reserve. I would be open to trying to breastfeed again when my nipples healed but it was so painful. My baby has always had a very shallow latch and almost seems to fight going on the breast. My midwife told me that giving him a bottle will just make his latch more shallow, which just made me feel more defeated.
I am willing to pump as much as possible.

I just had an upset as he was gulping down his feed and he threw up and it came out his nose as well. It scared me a lot so I called my midwife line. They said it doesn't sound like something to be concerned about even with the poo and I just need to wind him more often when I feed him.

I suspect the baby blues have a part to play in how shit I'm feeling about everything I do at the moment.

By day 5 poo should change from black/green and tarry, to yellow seedy and runny. Totally normal.

Sobbing over having to use formula because breastfeeding is sometimes hard, and feeling judged by some midwives/health visitors - also sadly normal in my experience. One thing i promised myself with DC2 is that i wouldn’t beat myself up over any “failure” this time round, and would feed any old way that worked.

FWIW, DC1 who ended up wholly formula fed is a ridiculously healthy, bouncy, bright 4yr old now. I’m not sure what i thought would happen to her as my partner insisted on going out to get that first formula whilst i sobbed about my failure as a mother, but whatever it was certainly never happened

My LO is 12 days old now and I exclusively pump, I also did with my last LO, and don't worry about combination feeding until you build up your supply. Just like breast feeding it can take a while to adjust. I'm happy to help with any questions you may have if you need some more advice.

The watery poo with mustardy bits is pretty normal (not sure about the smell though).

Try not to worry too much as long as food is going in and wet and dirty nappies are are being produced. x

I remember telling a friend that the changes in my newborn’s poo were like a rainbow of shite. Black to green to yellow to orange to brown. Something like that. Each day different. I mix fed both of mine. Pumped and formula fed for first few weeks but mostly formula because they are so hungry and it’s hard to pump more than a couple of times a day. Yes, I also was glad they had some colostrum. I did feel awful initially at giving formula but once I realised that it was filling DC and they were sleeping and putting on weight I realised it was a godsend and life saver. Give him the formula. Let your body recover. You are doing fine. Try to get as much sleep as you can.
I saw various midwives, health visitors, GPs etc after birth. Some were brilliant and their advice helped, some were rubbish and made me feel crap and upset. Take the advice that works for you and try to let the other stuff wash over you. People have their own agendas and boxes to tick. When they tell you that mix feeding will result in your supply going down just smile and nod and let them tick their box to say they’ve told you. I think what midwives etc are looking for is that you are making decisions yourself and getting on with it.

Hormonal changes at day 5 are also perfectly normal. I remember sitting at the kitchen table, pouring over a baby book in tears, looking for answers to a question, with my first DD at day 5. This was the early 90's, there was no internet.

Make sure your HV answers your questions, if you don't feel they've given you enough of an answer to quell your fears - tell her that you need to know, because it's really bothering you.

If at all possible, get a nipple shield. It’s a thin piece of plastic that can revolutionize breastfeeding. My dd just couldn’t get a latch without it. My nipples were too small. Most babies can give them up after a few weeks, we ended up having to use them for 3 years, but it worked.

Actually, if at all possible, see a real lactation consultant. Ours was amazing. She got me on a pumping routine that worked and eventually got us 100% on breast.

Try nipple shields. They give your nipples a rest and train the baby to latch properly at the same time.
It’s normal for breastfeeding to feel like it isn’t working for the first couple of months. If the nappies are yellow the baby is getting enough.
The baby seems hungry all the time because they are building your supply, not because it isn’t working.

Nipples hurting is "normal" Its one of the things I remember about DS when he is was a newborn (now 7) I dont remember the birth or being really tired but I do remember the amount of pain I was in when breastfeeding.

I did combination feeding because I couldn't pump and DS needed it, you need to make the right decision for your child you are doing nothing wrong

My ds was the same at first my nipples where a mess.
I was told try not to let him get over hungry that leads to the greedy desperate type latch.
When he start sucking his hands/looking for skin try him then for a feed. They are calmer to latch on.
I did combi feeding but my milk started to dry up as I wasn't pumping enough so we gradually moved to formula.
You are doing well breastfeeding is blooming hard
And the worry about his poo/ being sick its all normal- It's scary when it's all so new.

The baby blues are a real thing and at day 5 you're probably feeling like you've been hit by a tonne of bricks. I don't have advice on the poo situation specifically as I haven't got experience with that, but please be kind to yourself and remember you are doing what is best for your baby. Speak to your midwife tomorrow (/today) but remember all of your worry and panic is totally normal

Congratulations!

It’s really good that you are able to pump. Breast milk as well as formula sounds just fine to me. As a PP said, fed is best.

You’re doing great!

I pumped for three months and combination fed for three months. Both dc are fine and to be honest if I had my time again I think I would just ff from much sooner.
I wasted far too much time feeling guilty, you are doing fine.

Congratulations mama! Breastfeeding can be hard when you first start but it does get better. Is there support in your local area? Ideally it would be helpful for someone to come out and check the latch as painful nipples are usually due to positioning and attachment. Make sure you have lots of nipple cream and use lots! Nipple shields can also be helpful while your body repairs.
Re feeding with a bottle look at 'paced feeding'.

Good luck. You got this. It will get easier.