How to allocate bedrooms

[user246854]

Trying to figure out bedroom situation

In our house there is me, DD16,DD14,DD13 and DD5 currently I have the box room, DD16 & DD14 share biggest room and DD13 and DD5 share other double room, current plan isn't working

DD13 refuses to have any of DD5 toys up there or even allow her to play up there meaning all toys are downstairs cluttering our lounge/leaving area and frankly she's now old enough to play upstairs with out constant supervision

Thinking of doing the following

DD16 into box room she has left school on apprentice and pays house keep

DD14,DD13 to share double room

Divide biggest room to give DD5 a little very small place with bed and toys and I will go into other side

Does this sound fair? Everyone is pretty much on board except DD14 who has middle child syndrome and claims that everything is unfair as she's never had a room of her own

We have no other room to convert and no chance of extending... I have looked at exchanges but to be honest 4 beds don't seem to come up

Unsure if I would even qualify for a 4 bed as they are all girls, but even if I did I'm not likely to find one... very few and far between. Though honestly not sure how it works as not long after I moved here a lady did exchange her two bed flat for a 4 bed house and she only had 2 boys and 1 girl all under 6, I know this for a fact as she's a friend and a school Mum

Caravan isn't a option firstly I don't have a drive and secondly DD16 has asd and no way on earth would she sleep out there she is scared of her own shadow and any suggestions of me sleeping in it would surely leave my children ending up in care

I agree that it isn't fair that 13 year old shares with 5 year old think because she was only 7 when Dd cane along and will still into her toys etc it just made sense for them to share but now they are older it just doesn't work

That family up north with lots of kids 22 or something,they have lots of girls sharing one room ,they all look happy like they are at a sleep over each night

I personally think as 16 year old is paying keep and has ASD, she should have a room to herself really. But your suggestion works too and I don't think a teen should be sharing with a 5 year old if there is another option

Oldest gets the smallest room
Middle girls get the middle room
You and Dd5 share the other room and have a curtain up

Failing that do you have a dining room you could use for one persons bedroom?

Would you sharing with 16 year old work, if she is nervous? Or would it be bad for her independence.
If not I would stick to your original suggestion and tell dd14 that she gets her own room if her sister moves out.

user246854 your suggestion in your opening post is the best you'll manage with what's available, it's just how it is.

Hear the 13 and 14 year olds out and acknowledge that they'd like their own rooms, but it simply isn't possible due to your lack of magical powers.

Of course you're right that the one who's paying board is the one who gets her own box room when there's only one available.

Of course both doubles are shared - putting 3 teenagers in one double and the five year old on her own really would look like horrendous favouritism despite the toy argument, and just punishes the 16 and 14 year old for the 13 year old refusing to share with the 5 year old by shoving her into their room and overcrowding them.

Do the 13 and 14 year old clash more than any other two individuals in the house? Is that the issue or just the 14 year old thinking she should have her own room because the 16 year old presumably had her own room at some point in the past, perhaps before the youngest was born?

I agree the three older girls in the biggest room in bunks. Lots of kids their age sleep in bunk beds (some college/unis use them). If it’s the house master bedroom there will probably be good space.

Then you as the adult get the second double bedroom and the five year old in the box room. Get her a raised bed and she can have her toys underneath.

Dollymixture22 seriously? Which colleges (what do you mean by colleges with a residential element?) and universities in the United Kingdom use bunk beds?

Don't put the three teenagers in one room, they'll be horribly overcrowded and it's totally unnecessary.

You and DD 5 share the biggest room or the one that is easiest to divide,
DD16 in box room DD14 and Dd15 share full size adult bunks would give more floor space, or even L shaped bunks when just the foot portion overlaps, I shared this type of bunk with my sister until we were 20 and 18 and afterwards when home from uni

I like @Caspianberg idea.
It's your house, you're the adult and you pay for it.
What if you want a boyfriend. You're entitled to your own room.
Even older kids could be there another 10 years.
All three older girls share biggest room. Not too old for bunks. If they're at home they can be 23yo on bunks. It'll be fun. V similar ages.
5yo in double so she can play / have sleepovers. Single child's bed and big pink (?) rug with lots of toys.
You stay in box room.

Don't sleep on sofa. The cheek of this suggestion! Will lead to v entitled kids/ young adults.

God, please don’t use any configuration that puts the 5 year old in her own room, op!!

Plenty of unis and youth hostels and boarding schools use bunks for 16 yo to 23yos

What Unis use bunk beds in their accommodation?!

Using a kallax storage unit as a divider would give you the storage space too!

So either do that with dd13 and dd5 in room or you move in with dd5.

Although I do think as dd16 is paying keep it would be nice for her to have her own space and room.

@thelongdarkteatimeofthesoul 😂😂😂. I have never seen someone express such a strong reaction to a bunk bed comment.

Overcrowding will depend how large the room is. Lots of large families will have three children in a bedroom. I do think the adult should have a reasonably sized room and the five year old should have room to play. But I thought we were just having a chat🙄🙄.

Anyway, I did a year at a college I’m the states as part of my degree and we had bunk beds in the dorms. Was fine. They were at an angle to each other. Gave good space. But like this picture.

Growing up we were in bunks at this age. I survived is hideous childhood😂😂

justaddblog.com/dorm-room-essentials-create-a-stylish-space-for-lounging-studying-and-sleeping.html/✔78-dorm-room-essentials-create-a-stylish-space-for-lounging-studying-and-sleeping-30#main

@Dollymixture22 also good suggestion.

And universities will resort to bunk beds if, like OP, space becomes an issue.

www.theguardian.com/education/2009/sep/18/university-admissions-student-loans-housing

Daisy7654 youth hostels you stay in for a few days or a week yes, boarding schools in the UK? I highly doubt it, they have two children in two singles or single rooms for the most part especially by age 16.

I'd be extremely surprised to hear of a concrete example of a UK university using bunk beds - only a few have a small number of shared rooms, the vast majority of hall of residence accomodation is single rooms.

University of London has bunk beds in halls.

Keele - new development of halls includes bunk room.

www.keele.ac.uk/estates/projects/futureprojects/hallsinfrastructureproject/HIP%20Consultation%20Presentation.pdf

I need to stop googling just because @thelongdarkteatimeofthesoul annoyed me with their dismissive tome😂

Really surprised at that, Dolly, I had no idea.

University of Exeter

www.fxplus.ac.uk/sites/default/files/documents/glasney_student_village_information_sheet_2016-2017_-_exeter.pdf

I need to stop

Dollymixture22 the article describes that as a temporary emergency measure and an example of an overloaded "creaking" system.

The article is about overcrowding. Bunk beds are cited as one of the examples of something unsatisfactory being resorted to due to that overcrowding - lectures being delivered at night and by postgraduate students instead of lectures are also unsatisfactory emergency measures the article cites in the same way.

Essentially that article says the system is so overloaded that the crappy solution of putting students in bunk beds has been resorted to as a short term measure.

It's not the furniture that's really the issue in the suggestion to put 3 teens in one double and one 5 year old in the other though, it's the fact it isn't necessary and is almost punitive. The OP doesn't have six children in a 3 bed house, she has four. There is therefore absolutely no need to make the three oldest share a room.

Edinburgh

www.accom.ed.ac.uk/media/8315/ug-student-guide-2018.pdf

@thelongdarkteatimeofthesoul still that tone😊😊😊. Let’s be nice and have normal chat.

Bunk beds are not a option

Biggest room is the only room that can can a divider other double just is not big enough

3 teens in one room just will not work, it would be hell, Dd 16 just couldn't cope with the mess etc which is why I think giving her the box room is the best idea she really does need her space otherwise she can get very anxious and then that's when arguments with other teens start

Definitely have no intention of giving DD5 the double room to herself that would cause no end of arguments and accused for favouriting her

I'm happy to share a divided room (biggest) with Dd 5 having her own space and for those that mentioned s boyfriend... definitely I do hope to get laid again

To be honest dd14 and dd13 get on the best so probably better if they share

Was just looking to hear if I was missing anything

Yes, I did say universities will resort to it if space becomes an issue.

Space has become an issue for OP and her girls are much younger than university students.

But I can’t really get as angry as you about the bedroom configuration for a family I have never met😂.

I am sure OP will come up with a splendid solution that will keep all girls happy and her sane.

Going to climb into my bunk bed now and have a nap😊