Builders wrote horrible disablist word on my van.

[ArseholeBuilders]

NC for this. I'm pissed off about this and am fantasising about revenge.
A house a few doors down from mine is being renovated, so there has been a builders van parked outside on the street. The other day I came home for lunch and parked for half an hour before heading back to the office. Our street is difficult to park on and the only space was directly behind their work van, so they way I was parked meant they couldn't open their back doors. That's the way it is on our street, it's very congested with parked cars so you park wherever you can find a space. Also I was parked outside my own bloody house.
Of course they still had access to the side door, but they must have got pissed off at the inconvenience because when I got to work I noticed the word 'spastic' written in large letters I. the dirt on the back of my work van. (Sorry, it is a truly horrible word and one I would never use, and any decent person would say the same) I'm 99% sure it was one of them because I saw them throw me a filthy look when I got out the van, and that word most definitely was not there when I parked as I checked the back to make sure I'd left a couple of feet clear behind me. I really can't imagine any of my neighbours doing that. Most were either at school/work and those who weren't are quiet and pleasant retirees.

If it had been a swear word or a rude drawing it wouldn't seem so bad. It's the fact they used such a vicious word that upset me. their van has no logos or company names on it so I've no idea who they are. I've checked their reg for tax and MOT and they're all up to date.

I should probably let it go, and there's probably not much I can do, but I have to admit I've been daydreaming about getting revenge on those little shits. Any ideas? nothing harmful or illegal of course.

‘Their’

Surely if the builders needed back door they had options?

Lol

Horrid thing for anyone to write, but you can’t prove who it was. If it was the builders it’s a shame they didn’t just come and knock. In fact the more I think about it, they move down the suspect list as they’re very likely to have just come and knocked. Do you by any chance live on a secondary school route? That would open the suspect pool back up as it’s the sort of nasty insult they can use until an adult stops their gallop.

So Equanimitas every time you see a vehicle with back doors you leave the space behind it free?

If I see a work van outside a neighbour's house where the owners are working then yes, absolutely. Why would I want to bugger up their lives for the sake of a little inconvenience?

It’s only a “disablist slur” if the OP is disabled.

Nonsense. Using as an insult a term that refers to people with a severe disability obviously indicates that having that disability makes you in some way stupid or morally inadequate, so of course it's disablist - irrespective of the target. Or do you think it would be acceptable going around hurling the N word as a random epithet?

Surprised at the posters who think it's acceptable to write such things on legally parked vehicles.

@Stefoscope, I haven't seen any post suggesting that was acceptable?

Im surprised at the posters who think it’s acceptable to write such things

Sadly I’m not surprised.

Blimey.

In the words of the wise one that is Elsa

“Let it go”. Really not worth giving any headspace at all (especially since you were the o e who parked so they couldn’t open their back doors)

Point to one single post stating acceptability please.

No I'd have done the same op.
It's not your problem that they can't open their back doors.
There's plenty of times I have to squeeze into my car because someone has parked next to me. I can't open my door fully. Do I write spastic on their vehicle - no.

There's plenty of times I have to squeeze into my car because someone has parked next to me. I can't open my door fully. Do I write spastic on their vehicle - no.

Parking next to someone so they can’t open their door fully in a car park or somewhere is completely different to parking on a street so close to a van so they can’t open their back doors, or a car so they can’t open their boot.

One is expected and reasonable, the other isnt

Come on, it's annoying and inconvenient if someone blocks a door. Yes, I'm well capable of processing that the side door could have been used. How would you like it if someone blocked your driver door and said, well just climb over the passenger side. It's basic manners to allow doors to open! Vans can carry loads of stuff. They might have wanted easy access stuff from the back instead of having to climb through and/or move a load of stuff.

She blocked access, her car was scrawled washably. OK a disablist word was used. They could have put "stupid cunt" or somesuch. Still offensive, just in a different way. They weren't looking to compliment the OP on her parking!

messolini9 no not everyone has their own driveway but if you don;t have a driveway it does not mean you own the public highway. You think it is entitled to assume that if you are a builder you need to sort out access to your vehicle (driveway, side door, move forward unload and move back in, etc) but you don't think it is entitled that one van takes up two spaces because they can't be bothered to do any of the above?!

YANBU- the van had a side door. The builders watched you park and go in. Why didn’t they say anything to you at the time. Doubt they would have wrote that on your car if you were a man.

I would definitely mention this to your neighbour

*So Equanimitas every time you see a vehicle with back doors you leave the space behind it free?

If I see a work van outside a neighbour's house where the owners are working then yes, absolutely. Why would I want to bugger up their lives for the sake of a little inconvenience?*

What is the relevance of this? If your inconvenience is so minimal why do you reserve it for your neighbour's builders and not all builders? Any van with access from the back could have an owner who wishes to access it from the back. Not just builders or vans either, if you see a Caddy give it two spaces, it could be mine and I might need to get my DD's wheelchair in it.

ThePluckof the coward What a horrible judgemental point of view you have. No doubt you have a good view of all these Neanderthals from your high horse!

When you don’t condemn something that is disablist, when instead you seek to make excuses for disablist comments or slurs, then you are indeed making it clear that you think that behaviour is acceptable.
Plenty of posters here doing the above.

Have you considered ever washing your vehicle?

Problem solved.

And mitz comes on after missy's excellent post to prove the point.

Why should having a dirty van make you fair game for having spastic written across the back?

My ds has spasticity in his limbs due to a degenerative genetic neuromuscular disorder. I guess next time a kid calls him a spastic that's fair game? I mean he is medically?

You can have spastic limbs.
You can suffer from spasticity.
You are NOT a spastic.

It's an insult and everyone knows that. Stop justifying its use. You would do it for racist or transphobic language and protected characteristics do not some with some kind of heirachy where some words are fair game.

Wouldn't do it

@itsgettingwierd, actually, I don't give a flying fuck. Hence why I quite happily made my way across the floor of a venue to get to the front and see the Blockheads saying 'Scuse me, pardon me, raspberry coming through' with a guy using a wheelchair following in the wake created by the crowd parting like the Red Sea. Meant that people were less likely to send me flying by kicking my crutches - the brace I was wearing made me slightly off balance. And no, not a temporary thing, either.

I also think that people who aren't disabled taking umbrage at naughty words tend to have a serious fucking case of Saviour Syndrome. We aren't all innocent little victims needing the benign infantilization of others. And the last thing needed is somebody who is completely unaffected by disability (as I presume the OP would have said very clearly if there was any relevance to the choice of word), wanting sympathy because somebody called her a word that is completely irrelevant to her.

The OP parked like a dick. Had the van been washed, there wouldn't have been a rude word written on it and she'd have been none the wiser about what the writer thought of the parking (or somebody just wanted to write something on a filthy van and was bored with 'Clean Me'). But, on noes, it's a bad word and surely that means parking like a dick is OK compared to that.

It’s not being entitled to want other road users to use a bit of give and take and consideration when parking. How hard would it have been for OP to leave a note saying where they could contact her if they needed access?

Others will know better than me, how easy is it to get things like ladders out via the side doors of a van, particularly if you put them in near the end of loading so there’s other stuff in the way?

Ok boomer, glad it's cleared up. In fact I'm heading out right now to find some filthy vans to write sexist, racist, ableist stuff on.

Parking is also a protected characteristic, you know.

Spastic’ is a terrible word to my generation (in my 40s) and one we would never use

In ,y generation (in my 50s) I remember well the Spastics Society, now SCOPE. I think it changed its name only in the early 1990s.

Mitz see my ds does have spasticity and he suffers daily being called spastic in school. No one takes it as seriously as racist language as an example. I'm really glad if anyone takes umbrage at the word and thinks it disgusting to use and makes a huge fuss over it. The quicker the word is removed from society as an insult the better imo.