What would you say is an ideal time for a 13 year old to go to bed?

[FlorenceKettle]

I'm talking about during the week, so on a school night. When would you remove devices?

In my house, it's devices out the room at 9pm and he then has an hour in his room to draw/ read or just chill out with his various non tech hobbies. Aiming to settle down and sleep at 10pm ish. He's up at 7.30 for school.

He of course thinks is outrageously mean but accepts it. Made me wonder ... what do you do?

Mine goes to bed at 9 on a school night and gets up at 6:30. He’s allowed to stay up later at weekends or in the holidays but rarely wants to stay up beyond 9:30/10. Never sleeps late (unless ill or jet lagged).

Bedtime rules chez avocadoze

Take school year number (with 0 for Reception). Multiply by 1/4. Add answer to 7 to get bedtime. This gives
YR 7pm
Y4 8pm
Y8 9pm
Y12 10pm

And the rest at quarter hour intervals between. Our dc do get up quite early for school though.

My ds 13 is asleep by 8:30/9 on school nights. 6am alarm. When ever he wants at weekends/holidays. He constantly moans his mates get to stay up loads later but less than 8/9 hours sleep and he’s mardy & like a zombie

10pm on average sun-thurs.

My (very nearly) 13yo usually starts getting pj's on, brushing teeth and going to the loo around 9:30pm. Usually tucked up around 10pm as that's around when I go up.

I'm with @RedskyAtnight and@zoobincan my 13 yo goes to bed when he's tired, the only stipulation is that he has to be able to function well at school and other activities (which he does a lot of). He also does paid work which involves him staying up relatively late (im being vague I know) so it suits him to stay up late really.

I can't imagine telling a teenager when they specifically have to go to bed, I think self regulation is a very important skill and it really doesnt just happen overnight when they turn 16 or something.

Obviously if he has a long day the following day or has a particularly busy week I will gently remind him it may be an idea to have an early ish night.

DH and I go to bed pretty late and always check on the DCs before we go put of habit I guess. He has never been awake mega late and abused our trust.

Aiming to settle down and sleep at 10pm ish. He's up at 7.30 for school.

I'm sure he does think it's mean. My 16 year old chooses to go to sleep at 10pm having worked out it's the best time not to be too tired when he gets up at 7.30am - same times as your 13 yr old. 10pm does seem late, we did 9pm at 13.

Oh should have said he gets up about 730am so not mega early so 11pm ish till 730 is fine sleep wise. At weekends he will sleep in if he has nothing on.

@bagsofbats I am not sure re how far through puberty they are as never heard of that before but you could be right. DS's voice has broken and he has had the ridiculous growth spurt etc, his friend who is 15 hasn't and needs way more sleep.

@QueenBlueberries I am not sure, I find those who are busiest tend to have less sleep also. That is mainly based on adults i know though. DS does sport most nights plus a couple of hours of music practice/performance a night minimum plus often between 4 and 10 hours of sport at weekends, it seems to make him more awake. I am the same, I find it harder to switch off when I'm busy. I average 5/6 hours sleep a night.

Surely it depends what time they have to be up? If you read NHS sleep guidance on the number of hours and work out how long he takes to fall asleep that's more help than random internet ppl.

devices go to sleep at 9pm
bed between 9 and 9:30

9-9.30pm on school nights. 10-10.30pm ish on non school nights. Ive tried varying the times but these seem to provide maximum benefit in terms of having adequate sleep for the next day. Every kid is different and will have different needs.

Gets ready at 9.45, lights out at 10 ish.

No devices in bedrooms (for anyone!)

NHS say 9 hrs 15 mins for 13 yos, 9 hrs for 14-16 yos. For adults it says 7-9hrs so there will be some variation of course for kids as well presumably.