What would you say is an ideal time for a 13 year old to go to bed?

[FlorenceKettle]

I'm talking about during the week, so on a school night. When would you remove devices?

In my house, it's devices out the room at 9pm and he then has an hour in his room to draw/ read or just chill out with his various non tech hobbies. Aiming to settle down and sleep at 10pm ish. He's up at 7.30 for school.

He of course thinks is outrageously mean but accepts it. Made me wonder ... what do you do?

9pm lights out. It’s the only way he gets enough sleep for a 6:30 start.

I have a 13 year old and nearly 15 year old. I don’t dictate bedtime, but they need to be upstairs in their room by 10pm. This is because I sleep downstairs and so a blaring tv stops me falling asleep. Once they are in their rooms they can watch tv, read whatever. Phones are charged downstairs from 10pm also, both get up no probs for school.

9, but he's usually fannying about until gone 9.30.

Mine is self regulating but will go to bed between 10pm and 11pm. She gets up at 7am. She is far more sensible than I ever was at that age. I would be up all night if I could and then refusing to get up the next day. DD knows when she's tired and gets herself up every single day.

Me however? I'm almost 40 and still shit at putting myself to bed at a reasonable time and I will get up at the very last second after a million alarm snoozes and will throw my clothes on in a rush and bolt out the door. I am not a morning person.

At all.

9pm. We all need a lot of sleep in this house so very used to being told my children go to bed early. Weekends are less strict somewhere around 10-11.30pm but will still sleep around 12-14 hours so depends if we have to go out the next day

10pm is reasonable, teenagers need more sleep than adults do, he won’t thank you for it but it’s helping to maintain his physical and mental health .

My 13 years old DS has just started to argue about bedtimes. Twice a week he's at Cadets so bedtime those nights is 10pm!!!

I try and make sure he'll have an earlier night in the week to make up for that.

Averaging it out, I'd say 9:30pm is the bedtime. He's up at 06:50. So I reckon he gets an average of 9 hours per night.

He will not sleep in at weekends! Ideally he needs 10 hours every night.

Between 9 and 9.30 depending if it's football on TV or not he has always been tired in the evenings and gets up at 6.25

I think what you’re doing seems sensible. I’m not quite there yet though.

When mine was 13 she went to bed about 8.30 and would be asleep by 9pm when possible.
Then wake from about 2pm - 4pm, then sleep until 6.30.
Would then start practice at about 7.00 - 7.30, breakfast then sign in.

DS is 14 and goes upstairs at 9, and asleep by 9.30 (usually). His alarm wakes him up at 7.15 so he needs the hours of sleep. He plays football 4-5 times a week, and has music practice/orchestra/bands practice 5 or 6 times a week. I suppose he needs more sleep because he is very busy.

Drabarni eh?

silver

She's weird, never gone through the night and likes to start work early.
All her friends are up working, fighting for a room and then going for a huge breakfast. Then they start academic lessons from about 9am, finish at 4.30 then working at night.

I think Drabarni means 2-4am, not pm.

My DS is 14. He has to be up at 6, so I try to get him to bed for 10pm, but it doesn't always work, meaning that by Friday, he is exhausted and grumpy, and makes all our lives a hormonal hell!

9pm turn PlayStation off and shower and supper
10pm bed with lights out and phone out of room - he's allowed to watch a film but secretly watches YouTube and thinks I don't know

Mine is lights out at 8:30 and has usually stopped scrabbling about and is asleep by 9, she is up at 6:30 and that is a massive struggle if she goes to bed any later.

Do you think the stage they are in puberty affects how much sleep they need? E.g. if they are further on do they need more 'adult' and less 'child' levels of sleep?At 13/14 there is an enormous range of which stage they are at in puberty. My 13 year old isn't very far along yet.

lights out at 9.15, but up at 6.15 for school (her choice to be quite so early, she needs the time to faff).

All devices live downstairs, but she will either watch tv with us or draw/read upstairs, depending.

I think it depends how much sleep they need.

My DD2 is 15 and is absolutely shattered by school. Ideally she still needs 10 hours sleep to be awake the next day.

awake the next morning => going to bed at a good time
still half asleep next morning => going to bed too late

Mine goes to bed at 10, usually asleep by half 10. He doesn't have to get up until 7.45 though, 8 at a push.
Weekends/holidays we let him stay up a bit longer if there's an event or film on etc but he will often toddle off around 10 anyway.

Mine goes at about 10pm. Takes an hour or so to nod off. But she has never needed much sleep. She is up at 7 for school.

9.30 lights out as a rule

Mine needs a fair bit of sleep. She goes up at around 9pm, in bed with lights out at 9.15-30. This is for 6.45 start. She can stay up until 10.30 at the weekend.

However, judging by how late messages light up her phone into the evening, I am on the harsh side.

Mine has no devices from 9.30 on a school night, and in her room from then- but she can stay awake reading etc and have music on Alexa if she wants. Up at 7. She's usually been in her room longer than that anyway.

Mine voluntarily goes at 9ish - sometimes a little later, sometimes earlier. Was no later than 9.30-45 in the Christmas holidays too. Voluntarily gets up at 6am (if not sooner) weekdays and weekends. Phone is left in the living room at bedtime. I love my sleep, so she's clearly not mine!

Nearly 9yo also goes at 9 - absolutely no point in getting her to bed sooner as she just faffs and does anything but sleep. She's often still awake (though in bed) at 10 or later. She does sleep longer in the morning though.

DS (13) has no screens after 9, lights out 9.30. He has to get up at 6am for school, and really needs his sleep or he's a complete bollocks the next day.

I remember reading a study a few years ago that teenagers need as much sleep as toddlers. Mine certainly does