How to explain where babies come from

[Nikhedonia]

DD (4) is asking how babies get into their mummy's tummy.

She knows that she was cut out of my tummy (c-section) but she is interested in how she got in there.

How have you explained it in an age appropriate way? I'm not with her dad anymore, but don't know if that would make a difference on how you would explain it...

Mine is younger and hasn't asked yet but I plan to keep it factual and simple. I think they only want to know the answer to the specific thing they're asking about really. Can you say a Daddy has sperm cells and a Mummy has eggs (which are both really small) and together they join up inside the Mummy and travel to the Mummy's uterus and grow and grow into a baby and when the baby is big that's when it's ready to be born. She's probably just wondering how a whole baby lands up inside you in the first place

I showed dc1 pictures of egg and sperm and explained that the sperm were sort of posted into the uterus and they grew into a baby. He was almost 3 at the time I had to explain it but seems happy with the explanation.

I told my dd (7) that daddy has a sperm and mummy has an egg and when they decide they want a baby they mix them and the baby grows in mummy's tummy. After all that careful explaining she then blurts out... oh i thought it was by having sex ...

@XJerseyGirlX that's hilarious

Keep it simple. Daddy has sperm, I have eggs, we decided we wanted you so mixed sperm a d egg together and that's how a tiny baby is made then stays in mummy's body until its fully made. I avoid baby in mummy's tummy as that's why my dd thought babies where either swallowed or vomited up!!

“Jesus puts them them there”

Then run away and hide.

I’ve got a 17 year old. I think he’s worked it out by now

I did seed and egg at that age with both mine. They both loved the idea that the egg they came from was always part of me.

It wasn’t until nearly 8 that DS1 asked how the seed got there. After a few minutes and a memorable ‘and daddy did that to you? Twice?’ he moved on to asking when I thought the Queen would die.

We used the 'mummy lays an egg' book by babette Cole.

I told DS 5

Daddy has a tiny sperm and this carries all of him and mummy has an egg and that contains all of her.
And daddy sent his sperm to mummy's egg. And that grows and grows into a baby and that baby is some of mummy and some of daddy and when the baby gets big enough it leave mummy's tummy.

Having to explain the exit was more complicated 😂

@XJerseyGirl 

@ODFOkaren I could go with that! It might be preferable at her very religious primary school!

A book is a good idea.

Just the thought of talking about her dads sperm makes me feel a bit uncomfortable (fully aware that's pathetic and it's just the facts, but it was a pretty nasty break up)

@XJerseyGirl that was meant to be

and daddy did that to you? Twice?’

I asked the local library to come up with all the kids' books on the subject and chose the one I felt most comfortable with.
My daughter flatly refused to believe that anyone could possibly do that so the subject got dropped for ages.
She did end up with a degree in biology....

Yes, sperm and egg blah blah.

My 6yo son loves watching conception videos on YouTube, you know the tadpole - seahorse-baby vids. Hes amazed at how clever we are which I think is so touching.

But please don't do as I did and talk about penises and bottoms... That did not end well with my eldest who was virtually retching... I hadnt realised I was being so vague... Serves me right for not saying
V A G I N A loud and proud in the first place.

In all seriousness though, my Dd is 5 and I’m newly pregnant. I’m going to have this conversation with her in a few months. She’s like a dog with a bone I know she won’t let it go.

Ds was 11 when I was pregnant with her, I’m sure he knew more than me from playground talk by then.

I think we all get overly hung up with this.

Age appropriate is mostly about what your particular child will be able to conceptualise at whatever age they are, and every child is different.

Think about if your child asked how water gets into the taps (as one of my DCs did around the same age) or how milk is made (again, this was one of mine) and think about how you'd assess their intellegence and capacity for understanding at that age and then go ahead and teach them. Do the same with the question about babies.

Whevever they've asked about babies I've just told them (factually) whatever I thought they could actually understand. When I had baby number 3, this book - Where Do Babies Come From? - worked a treat for my older 2 but might be pitched a bit high for a 4 year old.

PS my older two are getting to the older child 'ew, muuum' phase so I would recommend getting in as much of this chat as you can before they start listening to their peers and getting their info from them and zoning out when 'Mum' tries to talk to them.

I'm a single parent too by the way. X

There are some brilliant books, pps have posted to some, Usborne are also great. They take it on face value at that age just be factual and simple.

Thanks all!

I think I'll order a book and see if that answers all of her questions.

I've started looking and they either seem to baby-ish or too grown up 🙄

I give more detail because I think the vaguer the explanation the more room for misunderstandings. I also think that one way of protecting children from unwanted sexual attention is knowledge about sex.

At that age mine knew that women have vulvas/vaginas and men have penises/testicles. That adults can have sex and the most important thing is consent. The during sex sperm from the penis goes to meet the egg in the vagina and create cells that eventually turn into a baby.

My 8yo now knows a lot more than this.

I suggest Mummy Laid an Egg by Babette Cole:
preview here:
www.slideshare.net/josemartinezalcolea/mummy-laid-an-egg

@Booboostwo I completely agree. Knowledge and facts are so important.

DS is almost 4 and we told him I'm growing a baby in my tummy and it goes in teeny tiny and I help it grow and the a Dr helps me get it out when it's ready, like when a teeny apple seed grows into a plant in soil - the baby seed needs a mummy to help it grow into a baby. He is absolutely fine with that explanation so far and hasn't asked for the why's and wherefores yet.

(the apple seed thing was because they'd planted some at nursery a few weeks before)

Mine is four and I’m pregnant. He also acquired a cousin a few months ago. So lots of questions!

What has worked well for us so far is answering, factually, exactly what has been asked - but no more. Which means that I haven’t had to sit down and give him a talk but it has been a gradual drip feed.

His main area of interest was how the baby would get out of the mummy’s tummy, rather than how it got in there in the first place! But we have now moved onto making babies - he knows that to make a baby, something from the Daddy is mixed with something from the Mummy, inside the mummy, and sometimes that grows into a baby. We have not yet progressed into what exactly is mixed, where it comes from, or how it gets in there in the first place. I suspect that may be next week’s bath time chat....