Celebs having babies via surrogates

[Lardlizard]

Just concerns me a bit that’s all, i do believe you can love a child you adopt and I’m sure in one goes into this lightly

It just makes me worry for the women that are the surrogates

Apparently, do, Actual. What a laugh, eh? Body for sale to highest bidder!

Surrogacy is abhorrent and should be banned worldwide. The only time it should be considered is if the surrogate is a close family member / friend who is truly doing something altruistic for a loved one with no coercion money changing hands at all.

The ads for the egg donors over there, too, unbelievable! 'Give the gift of life!' then the voice comes on to discuss how much you could receive in monies for flogging your genetic material.

I'm an adult who was adopted.
I don't wish I wasn't adopted, but I do wish I wasn't an adopted person.
Creating babies to adopt them is all kinds of wrong.

Brillo do you dislike being an adopted person because you are not genetically related to your mum and dad or because your beginnings are not as straightforward as most peoples?

Okay, yes adoption is a huge thing to come to terms with (as I know from personal experience).

If the biological material comes from the eventual parents and not the surrogate though, I'm not sure how this is harmful to the child? Particularly where the biological mother cannot carry children for whatever reason.

My understanding (and could be completely wrong!) is that surrogacy isnt paid for as a service - expenses are paid related to the pregnancy. If my sister couldn't carry children, and I was completely healthy and in a position to want to carry her child, are you saying that would have a negative impact on my neice/nephew as the child grows up?

Genuinely seeking thoughts and input here to understand the other perspectives

Tatty101

Carrying a child is not a mere incubation process- the baby is grown, nourished, protected, and communicated with by its mother, the bonding process which happens during pregnancy is entirely unique, the life inside you knows only you and relies on you to provide it with everything. Read up on the ‘4th trimester’ that may help you understand that having the same ‘genetic material’ can’t undo the damage done from separating a baby from their birth mother.

And the comparisons with adoption don’t work as adoption is always child centred, that is the removal of the child is in the child’s best interests, whereas in surrogacy the removal of the child is in the interests of the buyers.

I know someone who was a surrogate. She had 2 healthy children and a husband. They were financially secure professional family. Her reasons were purely that she wanted to help someone have what she had, a family. It the other parents egg and sperm. I rather admire her.

You might be interested in this recording of FiLiA 2019 conference panel discussing surrogacy :

podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/filia-podcasts/id1461524178?i=1000456257425

Panel Discussion on SURROGACY - A HUMAN RIGHTS VIOLATION, recorded at the Filia Conference 2019

DO WE NEED A FEMINIST ANALYSIS OF SURROGACY? THE LAW COMMISSION OF ENGLAND AND WALES AND THE SCOTTISH LAW COMMISSION HAVE BEEN CONDUCTING A PUBLIC CONSULTATION ON PROVISIONAL PROPOSALS FOR REFORM OF THE LAWS GOVERNING SURROGACY IN THE UK. THE CLOSING DATE FOR THE CONSULTATION IS OCTOBER 11, 2019. AFTER REVIEWING ALL RESPONSES, THEY WILL DECIDE ON THEIR FINAL RECOMMENDATIONS FOR LAW REFORM, ACCOMPANIED BY A DRAFT BILL (LEGISLATION) IN 2021.
THEIR PROJECT DOES NOT SEEK TO EXAMINE WHETHER OR NOT SURROGACY SHOULD BE ALLOWED. INSTEAD, THE COMMISSIONS’ FIRST PREMISE IS THAT SURROGACY IS AN ACCEPTED FORM OF BUILDING A FAMILY, AS RECOGNISED BY THE DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH AND SOCIAL CARE (DHSC). THE DHSC ALREADY RECOGNISES SURROGACY AS A LEGITIMATE FORM OF FAMILY-BUILDING. THEIR FOCUS IN THE PROJECT IS ON IMPROVING HOW SURROGACY OPERATES. THEY BELIEVE THAT WHILE SOCIETY AND ATTITUDES HAVE EVOLVED, THE LAW HAS NOT DONE SO SUFFICIENTLY.
THE SPEAKERS ON THIS PANEL - Julie Bindel, Sheela Saravanan, Jennifer Lahl and Renate Klein - CHALLENGE THE COMMISSIONS’ PROPOSITION THAT SURROGACY IS PROGRESSIVE. THEY DEMONSTRATE THAT WHEN THE FOCUS SHIFTS ONTO A FEMINIST EXAMINATION OF WOMEN, WOMEN’S BODIES AND WOMEN’S HUMAN RIGHTS A DIFFERENT CONCLUSION ABOUT THE POLITICS OF SURROGACY WILL BE REACHED.

I can imagine that there will one day be the option of doing pregnancy entirely in a lab. The growing baby could have a recording of the Mother's heartbeat and voice.

I know a surrogate in this country who is getting about £12k "expenses". She is over the moon as this is a fortune to her.

There was a thread on here a while ago where it was found the average amount given to UK surrogates in "expenses" was in the region of £20k. While possibly not in the same league as the amounts given in America, this shows that many "altruistic" UK surrogacies are anything but.

Clearly the ban on commercial surrogacy isn't working- either make it illegal to exchange any money or there should be a far stricter cap on the amount.

I'd love to see a total ban on foreign surrogacy from poor to wealthy countries, India had the right idea banning it a few year ago.

KK is full of shit, she just didn’t want to lose her “figure” nothing to do with her health. As pp said she has had two healthy children so why buy more? Ego and control, pure and simple.

@Ticklemeelmo While I agree India did a good thing, if you listen to the podcast I link to up thread they talk about how the result of India's ban on surrogacy meant it had a knock-on effect and moved more into other poor countries. So progress for India but the same problem exists just in other countries now.

Which of course means that people using surrogates in developing countries haven't really had any impact on them at all.

There was a story in the tabloids this week about Cheryl Tweedy/Cole/Whatever considering a surrogate to give her son a sibling.

Now it’s probably just tabloid nonsense, but it’s interesting how normalised surrogacy has become, especially with celebs. There was a few sentences about how terribly hard she found pregnancy, like that’s the only justification you need to outsource it.

One of the other distasteful things about famous women using surrogates is that it buys into the trope that women’s only value is as a decorative object, or a breeder, they don’t want to change their bodies as it may mean they won’t be able to generate the same income. Women in the public eye must be thin and must not age. The few larger women are very much the exception. And no Hollywood thin is not a case of us losing sight of what is healthy, these women put hours and hours into training and dieting.

I do find the idea very strange and it makes me feel uncomfortable in a way I'm unable to explain.
However, I might feel differently if it was the only way I could have a much longed for child.

I'm uncomfortable with it. I had an incredibly difficult second pregnancy with complications and i find the idea of paying someone else to potentially go through that on my behalf awful. Really exploiting someone else which i think is the big risk of commercial surrogacy.
But the flip side is adult women can make their own decisions about their bodies. So its up to them not me. I think thats why a lot of regulations and safeguarding the woman and the baby need to be in place.

Amy Schumer is another one talking surrogacy on Instagram. She’s been freezing embryos because she wants a second child but won’t be birthing the baby herself due to terrible hyperemesis.

Honestly, I have every sympathy with a woman who doesn’t feel able to go through another pregnancy. But once upon a time these women would stop at one child and that would be that.

Surely it must feel very, very different to birth one child and then employ a surrogate for subsequent children? It must be an absolute headfuck to just be handed a baby one day, even if it’s your biological child.

I don't see the issue really, and I never have. It's not like these women are being held against their will and forcefully impregnated. They choose to do this and get paid for it. And for people who cannot carry their own children, it's a logical option.

For women who do it for family members, it's a kind gesture to help the people they love. If the woman is happy to do it, what's the issue? And what business is it of anyone else?

Obviously I'm talking about willing local participants here. I definitely do not advocate for women in poorer countries doing this as a means of survival. That's horrid.

I think it’s because they all wait too long to have children. If you want to have a child you need to be realistic about your biological clock. Obviously, celebs aren’t worried about this because they can just use a surrogate. I agree OP and think it’s wrong.

Id be Kim’s surrogate. She’d set me up for life! She documented her appointments after she had her son where she was told what a risk having another baby would be. I’d have done the same.

To be fair, for all I don't agree with surrogacy I can see why it would be an attractive option to those who want another child but not to carry it. I've had HG and it is grim, it took a huge toll on my mental health as well as my physical health, and with one of my DC I came close to dying. I had no desire for further children but if I did and had no moral issues with surrogacy....

I don't see the issue really, and I never have. It's not like these women are being held against their will and forcefully impregnated. They choose to do this and get paid for it.

Ah, the choice argument. Just because surrogates make a choice, it doesn’t mean it isn’t exploitation. It’s risking your health (and potentially your life) for money.

Do rich women ever choose to be surrogates?