Efficient people! How do you do it?

[darkskydarkening]

I have two young kids and work (and I need above average amounts of sleep which doesn't help!) I have no family support and can't afford to buy any in. My house is a mess, i have projects I need to start and never get around to. I feel I am constantly chasing my arse and behind on everything. I constantly have to do lists and only get through the essentials.

How do I get more efficient? Do I just need to diary-ise (or whatever the word is) every second of my day? Do I need more routines? Help!
I don't want to live like this for the next 15 years!

Top tips in terms of both your practical approach to things and mental attitude/approach are welcome!

I don't know if I'm efficient, but I waste time
watching tv
posting on MN
reading up on things I'm curious about

If you're getting thru essentials then you're doing ok.

I’m known to procrastinate especially when a project seems overwhelming. Things that help me are:

1. breaking things down into manageable chunks rather than writing ‘decorate kitchen’ as a task. So one task might be ‘find paintbrushes and paint’.

2. only focus on one thing at a time. I try to do a declutter of one small area a day and then do a charity shop run / tip run once a week. Even if you just sort out one drawer a day it will add up and you’ll notice a difference.

3). If like me too start a project happily but then find it hard to keep going to completion
enroll your friends to keep you going- so say you want to train to run 5k, tell your friends your plans and sign up for a charity fun run. If you have sponsors you’ll be much more likely to follow things through.

4. reward yourself for every achievement and find ways to make tasks enjoyable - I like to listen to audio books when I’m doing housework or decluttering and it makes the time pass more enjoyably.

5). Try to find short cuts and things that tackle more than one issue at a time eg waking to school in the mornings might reduce parking stress, help with timekeeping (traffic can be unpredictable) and help keep you fit. Bulk cooking saves money and time and helps meal planning.

Sometimes it’s just ‘swallow the frog’ - so if you’re putting something off because you don’t like the idea, just do it, right now.

The other thing I do is not to overreach. So every day without fail I do one chore before we all leave the house. But that could be ‘empty the dishwasher’. (My DH also pulls his weight).

At work I’m very organised and yes, I have endless lists (scrappy often but enough to get things done).

I have always been efficient, my mindset means I love having time to do what I want and have utter contempt for domestic life. So I have always attacked horse.So I can then do what I want.

Also never been a fan of shopping or stuff so have just never accumulated huge amounts of stuff which people seem to do.

Have also got rid of excess stuff on a regular basis. I give everything to charity that I don’t need. They even take worn out clean stuff for their rag bag. Should have written about it decades about and beaten Maria Kondo to it.

Also multi tasking so packed lunches were always made when dinner was being made. I admit I had a cleaner when I was working it was the first must have for me. But honestly it’s clutter and tidying that I think is the cause of most upset domestically.

What projects do you mean decorating and repairs? or decluttering type stuff? With decluttering if a lot needs doing just get a couple of bin bags, one for throw Way and one for charity shop. Put in half a dozen things a day in each. If you try to do everything then it’s overwhelming , do it in chunks.

I also have a little game in my head on how quickly I can do stuff. Give myself 15 minutes and do as much as possible.

I think through the most efficient order to do things in and make every minute count - so i can wash a few pots and pans while something is in the microwave, have the kettle boiling while emptying the dishwasher or wiping counters.

Are your kids old enough to do helpful stuff?

I have never attacked a horse in my life it should read chores! See typing too fast as I have guests later. I’m going to have a quick tidy, DH is also doing this. I’m a still fitting in an hours walk and doing a couple of missions on my games console. I hyper focus the dreary stuff so I can still do the stuff that I want.

You didn’t mention a DH or a partner if any sort so I’m guessing your on your own. ( good, men make more mess than they tidy in my experience )
Just have to stop buying or accumulating lots of stuff. Get the kids involved I having a clear out, one room or even one cupboard at a time.
I used to do loads while mine were asleep too. I still do housework in the evening now mine are all adults.

I have never attacked a horse in my life it should read chores!

I did wonder if that was a typo or a phrase I had never heard!

yes, one of my problems is the place is so untidy! Which means it barely gets cleaned! I am a bit of a hoarder so have been trying to cut back on this - but also need more efficient storage.

Projects are:
I have a new job and I really want do well at it and make a new career in this direction - I would like time to read up on things I want to learn for the job outside of work hours (isn't time in work time).
My eldest has various issues I want to help him with - lack of confidence/ resilience.
Set up a free play project.

Other daily life things:
Exercise - I can feel my body decaying.
Having friends!
sort out house so it isn't so bloody awful.

Looking at that it seems a bit ambitious - but really - that is me paring it down. There is LOADS more I would like to do if I had time.

reading up on things I'm curious about

Yes I waste time on this too! THere is just too much stuff I am interested in!

Hermione Not really old enough to help out. That is part of the problem - they are 3 and 6 and VERY active. The youngest in particular is extraordinarily destructive.

It’s easy. I had a full time job with two kids house always spotless. Book bags ready night before, uniform out. Dinner at half five washes and cleared up by six. Housework Sunday’s and washing and ironing. You just always tidy up after yourself. Make beds when get up

Wouldn't call myself efficient, but something that has helped me is doing certain tasks on a schedule, e.g. every month on the 1st to clean out the fridge (though I don't beat myself up if I don't do the task on the exact date). What makes it so helpful is that I know the task will get done, so I can forget about it for the rest of the month.

Storage places having a place for EVERYTHING. If a charity bag comes through the door then I go through clothes, even rags as they weigh them in. I hoover daily, and do some other room daily too. I do one load of washing a day.

As for DIY/painting then we do it when it needs doing.

I work FT, have two kids (7&4) two dogs and two horses.

I don't know if it will work for you (as it uses up leave), but I have an ongoing "house to do" list alongside my weekly/daily one. Once or twice a year, I take a long weekend/week off work and spend the whole time knocking things off the house list. It's basically my full time job for that week.

Be kinder to yourself and start small. Attach new habits to well-established old ones. For chores you avoid, schedule yourself with others so it's more likely you will do it.

1. Exercise: Can you book a class with a friend? Start with just one class, once a week and arrange to go together. A lot of people want a gym buddy right now, but you might need to ask a few people before you find someone whose schedule works with yours, so don't get disheartened if you get a few knock backs. This is another way to build stronger support networks and friend groups.

There are running clubs and informal groups for running at every gym, as well, so once you're going more often you can hook in to that, or whatever is going on in your area. Round here there are loads of (casual!) netball teams that play in a league after work. I have been a few times and tbh it is a lot of fun and has women of all ages and fitness levels.

1. Professional Development: Can you schedule a regular playdate, group, or activity for the kids and schedule a work date with yourself at the same time. Take the kids to the thing and take yourself to a cafe to do your work. It can be useful to go to the same cafe every time to train your brain into its work mode in that space. You can even just play the same music.

1. Housework: pick a target task and do it right after something you are already doing. This might be as simple as making the beds after brushing your teeth.

1. Decluttering: every day, remove one thing from your house. Make a rule now that nothing comes in to your house unless you can say where it will live.

It’s easy. I had a full time job with two kids house always spotless

I think I hate you

Joloh - thank you so much for that personalised advice - it's helpful and kind of you!

XX thanks. Ihave just bought a 2020 diary so will schedule in bigger things like that. I am also going to use it to schedule weekends to start on some of the bigger projects.

Buzz - yeah, I can't really do that as all my annual leave is used to cover school hols/inset days.

Anise - a place for everythign is what I need. It is hard with teh three year old as he bloody empties draws and cupboards and throws everythign around he can get his hands on!

Thanks to everyone on this thread, you've all been really helpful.

Mrs Mell Yes, I seriously need to start slowly throwing stuff away. I think my problem is I tend to leave things until I have to time to do everything - but then I never have the time to do everything so they never get done. I need to start just tackling little bits at a time.

Kemosa Yes I think I need to start rewarding myself too, even if only mentally instead of only focussing on all the stuff I haven't got done!

Thanks again everyone!

Exercise: 10-20 min fitness video on YouTube every other day. Choose whatever suits you for that day. Once you start, it’s easier to make time for it.

House: dedicate 10mins each day to a different room. Be cut throat. Watch Marie Kondo method and stick to it. You don’t need lots of crap. It’s liberating.

New job: 3 evenings a week read something, no matter how short.

Your son: could you look into clubs/sports he could get into? Bouldering has a really nice group of young people where I live. How old is he?

I printed this monster thread out, and still refer to it occasionally, masses of good ideas: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1373827-to-ask-how-you-become-organised-and-together-Seriously-how

Yes, I seriously need to start slowly throwing stuff away

I am a hoarder by nature.
My tip for getting rid of stuff is to put it all in a box/bag and close it.
DO NOT look in it for a prescribed timeframe - 2 week, 2 months, whatever time will convince you the items won't be missed.

Then take said container directly to charity shop/tip as relevant, without once looking in it.

I have done that several times and I couldn't honestly tell you what was in them now, so clearly not vital to my life!

You can fit in 10 mins reading a day after the kids have gone to bed instead of putting on the tv. You just have to be disciplined with yourself and do it.

I multi task when cooking dinner I also clean up the kitchen and wash dishes so I only have my plates and knife and forks to clean etc.

Before dropping my ds of at school I put a load of washing in so that's ticked off my list straight away.

And when I put ds to bed dh will give the front room a quick tidy, pick up ds toys etc so It's not bugging us when we are trying to relax.

Use the reminders on your phone for everything, saves you having to think and plan.

Ok so I am not one to be giving advice really as I struggle with 3 kids and working ft plus studying to keep on top of anything.

One revelation for me has been reducing amounts of toys and access to them. Youngest has asd and just empties boxes everywhere all the time. If they can't get to it they can't make a mess with it. Now I rotate toy boxes so he doesn't get bored, but there is less volume to make a mess with. He also has to help tidy up which now he does without supervision once we got him in the habit.

I am in the process of throwing stuff, if I don't use it/need it it's gone. I am doing one room at a time. I find even just doing one 30 minute session every now and then of clearing helps.

Now just to stop procrastinating on MN...

I really need this thread too, OP. I think my problem is that I'm just lazy! 😁

I'm trying to get on top of stuff at the moment, but I'm not there yet. I think the key is having a place for everything, getting into good routines and doing little and often.