Efficient people! How do you do it?

[darkskydarkening]

I have two young kids and work (and I need above average amounts of sleep which doesn't help!) I have no family support and can't afford to buy any in. My house is a mess, i have projects I need to start and never get around to. I feel I am constantly chasing my arse and behind on everything. I constantly have to do lists and only get through the essentials.

How do I get more efficient? Do I just need to diary-ise (or whatever the word is) every second of my day? Do I need more routines? Help!
I don't want to live like this for the next 15 years!

Read Sarah Knight's book - Get your shit together.

For me, unfortunately, it's down to mildly anxious mindset that won't let me relax if I have unfinished tasks on my to-do list. I just feel constantly on edge until it's all been done - but then it's like a switch has been flicked and I'm happy to indulge myself with reading or watching TV.

I won't deny that it has its upside, as my home is always tidy and well-maintained and I have a reputation for extreme efficiency and competence at work. But quite honestly, I would love to be a little less highly strung. I really envy people who can leave something for another day and not get stressed about it. Are you sure all the things on your list need to be done? Is it not sometimes enough to take care of the essentials and leave the rest?

I plan for ‘dead time’. If I know I’ve got a dr’s apt with a likely long wait I’ll take something to do in that time e.g write a couple of birthday cards, do an online order, sort through my inbox etc.
Wrote all my Xmas cards On a long train journey.
I deal with as many tasks that fall in my inbox or through the letterbox straight away and if if I can’t plan a time to deal with it.
I clean the kitchen whilst waiting for pans to boil etc.

Just interested in what your hours are if you can be home and make dinner before 5.30? Do you have an early start? I'm going back to work in the summer and can't see myself getting back before 6.30 if the commute goes smoothly, so am anxious about doing evening feed and dinner, bedtime, dinner for DH and me, cleaning, load of laundry, extra reading for work, self-care... Please do share your tips if you find it easy, I need to improve.

DH and I both work full time. We don't sit down of an evening until everything is done ready for the next morning. That includes tidying, hoovering living areas if needed, getting a load of washing done and hung out and preparing everyone's bags for the next morning. Our oldest DC (10y) now does his own bags and kit and he folds and puts away his own washing, which helps considerably.

@danksy he's old enough to empty he's old enough to put it away. I've also told mine to stop emptying. Also toys confined to one or two rooms. We are lucky and have a conservatory which houses the kids toys. And I agree with another poster who said just limit the amount of toys available. We have toys in a wardrobe and just rotate them. Apart from bloody lego.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/3774726-Organisational-tips-and-tricks-to-start-in-the-new-year is a good start.

Ive installed an app that blocks mn at certain times of the day. That helps.
Plus less stuff - read Marie Kondo
Good time management - read peter jones how to do everything and be happy
Get a

My tip is: never move empty handed. Train the kids too.

If you see something out of place, take it with you. Leave things for upstairs on the stairs and whoever goes up take them up. Same for coming down.

It takes a bit of doing, but I find it helps keep order.

Each evening, find 5 minutes to write a to-do list for the next day. Doesn't have to be extensive, keep it realistic.

Then, write a 'ta-da!' list for all the things that you've done that day. I bet you'll be surprised by how many jobs you've actually done and hopefully the sense of achievement will give you some extra incentive to keep going!

WhT is the app that blocks MN please? I need to block stuff like this.

Getting my head in the next zone before and getting the jobs done ages in advance.

I'm allergic to housework. Only tips I have are getting your 2 to do jobs. Once i pick up from after school I tell them to put away shoes, Empty their lunchboxes etc in the car. We use 'first and then' the 'then' being your get to sit on your arse with remote control. Then I instantly make lunches and as a PP mentioned I 'time myself' whilst the kettle is boiling, so f'ing sad I know (it keeps the mundane somewhat interesting). And as it's so cold, bags back in car. They do small jobs before bed,, the more they do the longer they get to stay up and then I change the microwave clock to get them to bed earlier. I get up early to have an hour of complete peace. Otherwise it's carnage with 4 and I've no answers

Ok this is going to hurt but I get up at 5:30 M-F and 6:30 at the weekend. I meal plan everything including lunches and snacks. I book holidays 12 months in advance (everything including leave from work, flights, hotels etc). Also childcare when I don't have leave whether that be NCS (for teen DS) , my Mum or Dance camp so I am now chill about Summer 2020. Book all follow up appoimtments (for dentist, orthodontist, car service) at the time so no need to do later. Bulk buy Dc presents and cards (book people is good) always have wrapping paper in. On sundays DC have to have tidy rooms with washing away before allowed screens.

This is a great thread and yes to most of the advice. I also massively agree with getting the kids on board.

My 3 and 5 yo know that before they start a new game they put the last one away. Or that part of playtime includes tidy up. It is hard to implement at first but sooooo worth the effort, as now I just have to say "right, almost dinner, time to tidy up" and they whizz around on their own putting everything in its right place. That's also key: having a home fotnEVERYTHIHG. I tend to chuck stuff that doesn't have a home! (The one yo is a force of destruction, but is slowly getting the hang of being responsible for the tidy up, too. Granted, I do have to sit with him and do it together...it's getting more independent though)

I have always been quite organised but now I have two kids and a busy job I've had to take it to a whole new level. A few things that work for me are:

Online food shop - don't waste time in supermarkets. I sit down on the sofa once a week (usually Weds) and plan things you'll cook next week (use recipe books to help - I'm loving one called the Green Roasting Tin at the moment which has lots of simple, tasty meals). I get food for the week delivered on a Friday. Then we've got some nice food for the weekend and the rest is ready for the week. I cook enough to have leftovers to take for lunch the next day.

Evening showers. I used to always wash my hair in the morning but it was making mornings such a rush so now I have a quick shower while the kids are in the bath or playing and then my hair dries itself before I go to bed. Quick run over with the straighteners in the morning and it's done.

Exercise - I invested in a spinning bike (few hundred quid from eBay) and do 20 mins while watching the ipad either before the kids wake up or when they're watching tv. Also bought a £4.99 kettlebell from Aldi this week and did a 20-min workout following a routine I found online.

Lots of lists. When i think of something that needs doing, or that I need to remember, I write it in the notes app on my phone. Then I don't have the mental clutter of worrying whether I'll forget it. So there's lists on my phone that say things like 'Monday - check kids nursery bags, post letter, buy birthday card, put wash on' - that kind of thing.

Clothes. On Sundays I'll plan what I'll wear to work each day and write it on my weekly calendar or in my Notes app. I then iron anything that will need ironing so I'm not rushing round doing it before work.

Admin. If you can do it within a few minutes, do it immediately so stuff doesn't pile up. Once a week, spend a bit of time on anything that takes longer.

Like others have said, multi-task when you can. File nails or wipe the sink while the kids are in the bath, pack bags for the next day while the dinner is cooking etc.

Also as others have said, sort out odd bits around the house in small bouts, rather than seeing it as one overwhelming task. Sort out a cupboard or drawer every few days and once you've got it organised try and keep it that way. Put things back when you've used them and check before you leave a room whether there's anything there that doesn't belong there.

Sound a lot but once you get into the habit life does get easier and feels more manageable.

I use a Thermamix which is the ultimate multi tasking cooking equipment. However before we had the Thermie, I did tray bakes/tray roasts/ slow cooker. ALWAYS batch cooked massive amounts. I also had a lots of go to recipes, about 3 weeks worth that I knew would cook and freeze.

Thanks everyone!

Some people have talked about doing things after kids go to bed - that is part of my problem. I get up 5.45 so I can get to work really early (their Dad picks them up and takes them to school/nursery) so that I can leave early enough to collect them after work - I have a 90min to 2hour commute to collect youngest from nursery. This will get easier when youngest starts at a local school in Sept. But that means I get home at 6 then get kids in bed for 8-8.30 and I go to bed then too as I am shattered!
Re. exercise one of my goals is to sort out a room that is filled with crap to make space in there to exercise and do 15 mins a day of high intensity or stretching. I also run to the train in the morning - only 10 mins but better than nothing.

I do wash my hair in the evening to save time in teh morning - I agree that is a top tip. Have switched to online for buying everything too!

Well, thanks again everyone - I need to get on with getting stuff done.
I really am determined to start getting on top of things. Key plan is to plan WHEN I am doing stuff rather than just having in back of my head that it needs to get done!

Being a hoarder is a one way ticket to chaos in my view. I clear out all the time and donate or give away loads of stuff. It never becomes a big job because I do it all the time. For example I donate books to our local library when I've got a handful rather than wait until there's piles of them so it doesn't feel overwhelming

Also is there any way you can work from home? Switching my work to be predominantly at home has changed my life beyond all recognition

Poppy Thing is I like going to work and having people to talk to! I think I would go slowly insane without that.

@darkskydarkening You sound so similar to me. I have no tips for you because I feel the same way, but wanted to post so you know you're not alone.

One of the things I've started doing, which works for me, is making sure my hair is dried and straightened on Sunday evening. I have crazy hair that thinks it's curly but isn't curly all over so it's the only way to guarantee I'll look ok when I wake up. It lasts me until Wednesday then, with a bit of dry shampoo, and just makes it so much easier in the morning.

I think one key thing is ensuring everything has a place and it always goes back in that place, keys, bag, coats, tools, knives. Whatever. If you can lay your hands on something immediately you will never waste time looking for it. The difference between the time it used to take me to get out of the door and the time it used to take stbexh was at least 10-15 mins every day because everything I have has a home.

You have a really long day. We used to be out of the house from 0730-1900 every day and it was a struggle for us to get anything done. Now I WFH 100% and it really helps. Even a day or two working from home could help you complete some.of those goals.

I think your 6 year old is old enough to help you with tidying the house.
Also just spending 10 minutes in the evening clearing and putting stuff away might help.
Can you get any of the books or materials in audiobook format? Or maybe there's a podcast covering the same topic? Then you can listen on your commute or whilst sorting the house.

Alarms on my phone throughout to day to remind me to do something and the rule is ‘if it’s going to take less than 10 mins, just do it now’