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Original poster

Talk me down, irrationally annoyed at DH

34 replies

goingtoneedabiggercar · 03/01/2020 12:19

Let me start by saying we have a 6 week old with reflux and sleep is in short supply.

I got a new car on Monday and crashed into a lamp post. I've made my peace with it and I'll be having it repaired hopefully next week.

This morning our next door neighbour came knocking as his car has been damaged and has left white paint. My new car is white. I was in bed with DS sleeping on me as that's often the only place he's comfy. DH put his shoes on went outside and had a "lively discussion" about how I hadn't caused the damage.

I'm unreasonably angry that he didn't come back upstairs and take the baby so I could protest my own innocence. I have pictures on my phone of the damage on my car long before his was damaged. Plus I was the one driving the damned car. DH can't drive. I'm annoyed that he spoke for me, I don't think he should have. DH says to go round and discuss it with him now but I think that's just making a bigger deal out of it than needs be.

Talk me down from my sleep deprived rage before I have to bury him under the patio.

OP posts:
Deedadada · 03/01/2020 12:22

But you were in bed with a sleeping baby. Would you really be happy if he disturbed you when he could deal with it ?

TheBigFatMermaid · 03/01/2020 12:22

He thought you might be sleeping and didn't want to disturb you.

That's kind and thoughtful! He defended you. I'd leave it.

ActualHornist · 03/01/2020 12:24

Be annoyed with your neighbour who has obviously seen the damage and thought he’d chance his arm getting you to pay for it!

If the neighbour comes round again, make sure DH knows to come and get you so you can argue yourself.

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ElloBrian · 03/01/2020 12:28

I expect he thought he was saving you some unnecessary hassle.

Lulualla · 03/01/2020 12:31

But you were in bed and the baby was sleeping. Your husband knew all the particulars and he was up and baby free so he spoke to the neighbour. If the neighbour came when you were up and baby free then you'd have spoken to him. Honestly, most people would be annoyed if their husband woke them and the baby up because the neighbour had turned up. He dealt with it without fussing the baby; be thankful.

Maybe be annoyed that he didn't say "my wife is asleep but she will come round later" but dont be angry that he didn't wake you all up.

MirriMazDuur · 03/01/2020 12:31

You're being ridiculous. He didn't wake you up and he defended you, what more could you ask for.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 03/01/2020 12:31

It was a kind thing to do, let it go ... sleep deprivation and hormones.

IncrediblySadToo · 03/01/2020 12:35

Say what?

You have a very small baby (congratulations!🌷) and he was sleeping on you, so your DH dealt with the dickhead neighbour. I’d be thanking him, not crucifying him.

It’s not it like he said it might have been you or something dreadful. Ex told the that it was NOT you.

Give your DH a hug, not hassle. Save your anger for when he does something really wrong.

TARSCOUT · 03/01/2020 12:39

YABVU.

PanicAndRun · 03/01/2020 12:40

He didn't want to disturb you or the finally sleeping baby for a stupid ass chancer.

I wonder if you're cross because you missed your chance of letting out all your frustration and tiredness on the stupid ass chancer.

Original poster
goingtoneedabiggercar · 03/01/2020 12:42

I know I know. I'm just feeling like a baby making taxi service at the moment so I was a bit sensitive. Only DS was asleep I wasn't as we'd been watching a bit of telly when the door went. Neighbour does not have form for this, we've been here 3 years.

Thank you @TARSCOUT but there's a reason I posted away from AIBU.

OP posts:
PanicAndRun · 03/01/2020 12:45

I once had a go at OH for farting too loudly and waking the baby up. Fun times.

NewNameGuy · 03/01/2020 12:45

He did a nice thing.

If he'd said "you need to talk to her" and come bellowing up the stairs to take the baby and send you, you'd have originally not liked that.

PotteringAlong · 03/01/2020 12:46

I think this is a case of can’t do right for doing wrong.

He could have come and got you, and you could have started a thread about how your DH disturbed you and your non-sleeping tiny baby when everything was finally quiet and why couldn’t he have just told the neighbour himself, why does he need you to do anything?

Flowers on your baby. I think you’re overreacting a bit here.

MintyMabel · 03/01/2020 12:51

No way would OH come and ask me to fight my corner in that situation, and he hates any kind of confrontation.

He was doing you a favour.

HaileySherman · 03/01/2020 12:59

I think you realize you're being unreasonable. I think him handling it and not bothering you and the baby from resting was a kind gesture. Take a few deep breaths and at a later time let him know in the future you'd prefer he disturb you so you could defend yourself.

Congrats on the baby.

Marlena1 · 03/01/2020 13:02

I thought you were going to say he came and got you instead of sticking up for you!!! I think you are BU. Sounds like you have a lovely supportive DH.

namechange1041 · 03/01/2020 13:08

I think he did the right thing too so I'd either apologise or thank him. But I can't blame you for feeling annoyed/moody with a newborn and sleep shortage!

MsChatterbox · 03/01/2020 13:11

Obviously you know you are irrationally annoyed. But you're tired. You feel like all people expect you to be able to do now is look after a baby. And you want to prove that you're still capable of things outside of being a mother. Just recognise these are all things that you're feeling and not caused by your husband. I would let this go and if anything happens like this again just speak up at the time and say you can handle it.

Greenglassteacup · 03/01/2020 13:12

He did a good thing there OP

Mrshue · 03/01/2020 13:17

You say you’re sleep deprived. Yet is annoyed when the baby is finally asleep. You can rest.

Yet you want to be up (and maybe he’d of woken baby too) to have an argument with your neighbour. Which in your sleep deprived state probably wouldn’t of been too useful

He’s dealt with the situation. He’s said you can also go round and deal with it. He left you and baby to rest. Yet this is wrong?

I’d of gone mad at my dh when we had a very sleep deprived times with our second with reflux. Who screamed 20 hrs a day if he’d woken me to deal with it.

PhilCornwall1 · 03/01/2020 13:19

He was only trying to help! If he did nothing, you'd be complaining as well!!

Sexnotgender · 03/01/2020 13:21

Honestly I think he was trying to help.

Devereux1 · 03/01/2020 13:22

I was expecting you to have complained that DH came up and demanded you sort it out yourself!

DH was being lovely. He took care of it and stood up for you. Something many women would wish their partners would do more of!

OceanSunFish · 03/01/2020 13:23

Don't worry OP. This is the kind of thing we all get irrationally annoyed about when we're sleep deprived!

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