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Original poster

Would you have a Caesarean if you were me?

55 replies

SproutMuncher · 30/12/2019 20:18

I’m due next Spring with my second baby, and am terrified about the birth and the state I will end up in.

My son (about to turn two) was delivered with forceps and since then I’ve been in pain from the episiotomy and have a moderate bladder and bowel prolapse, which I’m very depressed about, and don’t really have any confidence any more.

I want to deliver vaginally as I know Caesareans are major surgery and The midwife has really scared me about the risks, but I’m really scared another vaginal delivery will make my problems worse which I am desperate to avoid. Surely a section is better than spending the rest of my life with even worse birth injuries?

Anyone been in a similar situation or any thoughts on what you’d do if you were me?

OP posts:
AgnesNaismith · 30/12/2019 20:20

I haven’t had a caesarean so couldn’t comment on the process or recovery...

But my last baby was 10lb+ and I also have similar issues, if I were to have another baby I wouldn’t hesitate to have a caesarean. It’s just not worth permanent damage. Just what I’d do though.

welshweasel · 30/12/2019 20:21

Yes I would, but then I chose a section for my first as I didn’t want to risk perineal trauma.

Snaleandthewhail · 30/12/2019 20:22

I absolutely would choose a c section in these circumstances. I don’t think it’s entirely helpful (Or professional?) your midwife scaring you off them given the injuries you’ve already had to live with.

Best of luck with it.

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wendz86 · 30/12/2019 20:23

In your situation I would . I had a c section followed by a vbac but had none of the concerns that you have.

Ornamentalbutuseless · 30/12/2019 20:26

Yes I would. Good luck.

Bloodylegoeverywhere · 30/12/2019 20:27

I had a section first due to a breech baby and then a vbac 27 months later. Second baby was born with forceps, came home with a catheter, piles, 50 stitches and a few other issues. Theres no way I would ever have another natural birth. I would definitely ask for a section and theres no harm in pushing for one to be honest.

hauntedvagina · 30/12/2019 20:28

I've had an EMCS and a planned section, recovery from both was fine and I was doing the school run on foot (albeit slowly) after ten days.

Obviously everyone recovers differently but for me there was no way I could mentally handle what had happened the first time again. My planned section was lovely, childcare was all sorted, I arrived at the hospital at 7am and was tucked up on the ward with DS by lunch.

AniseedBall · 30/12/2019 20:30

I was in a similar situation to you with my second pregnancy and chose a c section. It was honestly the best thing I did, I have no regrets. I knew there was no way I could push a baby out while panicking about making prolapses worse.

I had to fight to get it but when I finally got past the midwives and registrars telling me a vaginal birth was a best option and actually saw the Consultant he agreed straight away it was the best option. The mention of bowel urgency / incontinence after the first delivery made a big difference too (one kind midwife suggested I stress this), more so than pain and bladder problems, seems they are acceptable for us to suffer from! For those telling me a vaginal birth was best, they weren't the ones who would have two children to look after if things had become worse.

If you get some help lined up afterwards and take it really easy you should get on fine. There were some threads on here at the time that had great recovery tips on. Good luck, I hope you get the delivery you feel happy with.

Floofffs · 30/12/2019 20:32

An elective section is a nice calm delivery, I've had an emergency one too and it was scary and recovery was no where near as easy as elective.

In your shoes elective section would be my choice

ByAppointmentTo · 30/12/2019 20:33

I had an EMCS with my first and then a VBAC with forceps for my second. My recovery from the vaginal birth was awful and I still, many years later, have issues. I would definitely choose a section if I were you.

Iseethesilverlining · 30/12/2019 20:33

If I were you I would definitely ask for a planned elective caesarean, as you have reasonable medical and psychological reasons for wanting one.

Borderterrierpuppy · 30/12/2019 20:34

Yes I would definitely have a section.
I am a midwife and am staggered that anyone would suggest otherwise given your circumstances.
Ask for a consultant appointment and have a chat with them.

Oct18mummy · 30/12/2019 20:36

I don’t have the concerns you have but I had cesearen with second, natural first and I would take a natural birth over a cesearen any day! It took me about 8 weeks to recover it was so much harder than I was told or imagined!

FREEM · 30/12/2019 20:39

3 sections here.
I emergency 2 elective.
I wouldn't hesitate in asking.
the recovery for my 1st elective was amazing... I forgot to take painkillers after 2 days and could easily have driven after 2 weeks.

stoplickingthetelly · 30/12/2019 20:40

I had a bad first experience too - not dissimilar to yours. Rotational forceps, episiotomy, 3rd degree tear, lots of blood loss, more than 2 hours in theatre afterwards. I always knew I would have an elective section second time around. I’d made my mind up before I was even pregnant. For me the risk of irreparable damage being done by another vaginal birth was too great to contemplate. At my initial booking in appointment I told the midwife quite confidently that I wanted a cs. She looked at my notes and said ‘ok, that won’t be a problem’. I said the same to every doctor and midwife I met thereafter. For me it was the best decision I could have made, my recovery was much easier and quicker than my first experience. If it’s what you want be confident in your choice and don’t let people scare you.

champagneandfromage50 · 30/12/2019 20:40

You can insist on a C section. You will have many health professionals giving you there views, however I have had two natural births and two c sections. The first c section was due to predicted size and anxiety following a loss at 22 weeks. I had three male doctors telling me to go for a natural birth as I had managed a 9lb 6 inch before. I had to remind them that as a female I value my vagina and want to have a decent sex life and be able to pee without incontinence so wouldn't be trying to push out a 10lb er who ended up being 11lb 4

madcatladyforever · 30/12/2019 20:42

I most definitely would. I would not risk a further prolapse as it could be serious. My sister had 2 c sections because she said no way is she even going to attempt childbirth lol. I had a full epidural because I am too chicken to try it too. But seriously the next prolapse could be much more serious and can lead to incontinence so do think carefully about it.

paradyning · 30/12/2019 20:42

Yes definitely. And try to get some support to help with the damage done already. Have you been referred to physio?

concernedforthefuture · 30/12/2019 20:42

I would certainly want to discuss with a consultant if I were you to find out the risks of your problems getting worse.
But to give you some hope, I had awful pain post episiotomy with DC1. I tore the scar giving birth to DC2 and the pain disappeared completely afterwards. I think the midwife was better at needlework than the Dr who attended DC1's birth!

june2007 · 30/12/2019 20:46

My Niece I think as A vontuse delivery and a long labour. Thesecond was normal and no probs. So I think I would go vaginal but then I have not walked your rd.

Original poster
SproutMuncher · 30/12/2019 20:46

Thank you everyone for responding - sounds almost unanimous!

I paid privately for physio as my 6 week check fobbed me off and said I was fine - it has stopped the “heavy feeling” so been of some help.

Sorry to hear of the other problems people on this thread have had Flowers

concernedforthefuture pleased to hear that! Didn’t occur to me a second birth could make existing issues better!

OP posts:
Imonaplane · 30/12/2019 20:47

I had an EMCS first time followed by an elective section. The first was a bit scary but the elective was the most lovely calm experience. I recovered quickly from both - my second delivery was twins - and was driving again in a couple of weeks. I would not hesitate to recommend an ELCS.

beepbeeprichie · 30/12/2019 20:48

Gosh absolutely. A planned section for sure. Very calm, clean, and recovery was fine. Good luck OP.

Merename · 30/12/2019 20:49

It’s hard to say unless in the situation, but I’d personally not want a section if I could possibly help it, as the vulnerability post birth scares me. I had mild prolapse after my second, I wasn’t aware of symptoms after my first, but the physio felt the majority of the damage was likely to be from my first, and the second (2hrs, 10lb 5) would have completed it. I asked her about a third baby and she advised 6x daily pelvic floor exercises from when I started trying, and said that lots can be done afterwards even if there is a deterioration post birth of existing damage.

All that said, your damage sounds worse than mine so I’m sure I’d be giving the section thought.

Ragwort · 30/12/2019 20:54

Yes I would (actually I would never have another baby after what you have been through, a brave decision).

I had an EMCS, it was absolutely fine, no problems afterwards, no scar Confused, very mild pain for a couple of days. Could easily manage when I got home.

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