Dry January 2020. A new relationship with alcohol. Who’s joining me?

[ParanoidGynodroid]

It’s that time again!
I did my first dry January around 5 years ago, having seen it on here. It was a great thing to do: really helped my get control of my drinking. Since then I’ve done it every year, along with at least one or two other dry months.

DJ may help you:
Lose weight. ...
Get better skin. ...
Make healthier food choices. ...
Save money. ...
Sleep better. ...
Have more energy. ...
Improve your mood. ...
Improve your general health

and make you feel virtuous!

It’s not necessarily easy though, so it’s good to have support; especially if you’re feeling week and like you may give up. We can support each other here.

Join me!

Wow - does anyone else have high blood pressure normally?

I've just checked mine and on Day 8, it is down at 117/78, which is NORMAL range! Wow!!!!

At its worst last summer it was 165/110, then managed to stabilise it at 130/90 generally since September, once I started BP tablets.

But 117/78 is AMAZING !!!!

Thank you for the birthday wishes! I must admit I decided on a planned drink this evening but I have stopped again, I'm no more than "relaxed" and I will now get back on the wagon and keep going.

I am not going to beat myself up over my decision to celebrate with alcohol in this one occasion. I will shortly be in bed with a cup of herbal tea anyway and that is surely a win (previously I'd have kept going until I ran out).

Sending fortification to everyone who is struggling today! My husband is finding it hard, but that makes it all the more of an achievement. I am so proud of him for it. Well done to everyone .
I would not usually drink on a Wednesday so today has been okay for me. Like others, Friday is on my mind. Think we might go to Ikea to check out the sale and for a veggie meatball dinner, which would help as I'd have to drive. Basically, just thinking up a reason to be out of the house and with a car, but oh well!

Thanks for the taste testing Bev! I have never tried any of those drinks. I had Budweiser Prohibition the other night and it was nice. I might try one of the prosecco type wines people have mentioned, though my experience with AF wine generally has been disappointing.

Happy birthday Willow! You're right, you should absolutely not beat yourself up for having a drink on your birthday. Hope you've had a lovely evening

I’m having a tough time at work and I know it would be much worse if I was drinking wine in the evenings. So am pleased to be doing this.

Happy birthday Willow!
Bed with herbal tea is a lovely way to wind up your birthday day.
You'll feel great tomorrow.

@Newyearnewarse feeling better now! Went and did a tidy up upstairs, but of housework, sitting down with a cuppa now. It's the coming in from work, kids bedtime, eating dinner with DH.... that's when I really want one. And when I'm on the train coming home, start to think about it. It didn't used to be this bad, but slowly over the last year DH and I have had a few glasses every night, sometimes more. Feeling very motivated to break that cycle.

@goldpendant that's food to hear . I had one of those moments yesterday on my way home from work. Had a hectic and stressful day and my automatic response was to think about having a drink.
It passed but it is scary how normalised it is for me.
My DH is also doing this with me , in fact it was an offhand comment from him to a friend that he might give it a go that made me seriously think about it.
I would definitely struggle if he was still drinking.

I found today hard too. I wonder why so many of us did? Today was the first time I though ‘I just don’t want to do this’ (DJ). However I’ve worked all day on convincing myself that the witching hour is shrinking. It used to be 4.30-8. Now it’s definitely 4.30-6.30 which is a massive improvement. If I can eat at 6.30 then afterwards I am genuinely not bothered. It’s the cooking and kitchening which are dangerous.

I need to change my mindset for Friday. It’s been a long week solo parenting before DH comes home. It’s been a long week at work. The diet will be wearing very thin by then and an after work wine would usually be welcomed. But this week it’ll be me and the kids alone and it’ll feel not like a Friday at all. Going to need some strategies for that one.

Liked seeing the experiment @SegregateMumBev. Thank you for sharing!

I found today hard too
Tough day at work, lots of driving and grumpy kids

Thanks @SegregateMumBev for the reviews! Might get the 2 spirity ones
I would honestly pay £20 a bottle for a NA wine that tasted real!

Had schloer and going to bed now

Glad I'm not the only one who found today a bit harder. Spent evening lying on sofa watching TV including White House Farm. Fell asleep in the middle of it but after waking up I managed to get back into it a follow it through to the end. Unlike if I'd had a drink.

Going to bed now with book. My day 7 - done.

Happy birthday Willow

Another day over. Well done and goodnight everyone.

Stay strong.

Gooooooooood morning DryJanners!

Day 9 picture is a sparkling kitchen sink, all dishes washed and put away.

I'd been worried about last night, so I'm proud of myself for finding a way to get through it. Went to bed at 10,30 and slept soundly till the alarm at 6.30.
Tonight is another "home alone" one, so I'm planning on a creative session of knitting, colouring, and guitar strumming.

Weird. Slept incredibly well. Back to it today. Thursdays are too complicated to drink anyway, whizzing children back and forth. (That's what I'm telling myself, although I used to manage it!).

Good morning everyone. Day 12 here.

I've woken up to a whiteout and have a 12 hour day at work so no time for drinking or making my kitchen sink at home sparkly. But will clean the sink at my workplace and make it all sparkly between the classes I teach.

Now i need to go try navigate getting to work in the snow!

Good luck with everything you need to navigate today.

G'morning everyone, feeling fresh? I am! Still struggling to wake up when DC1 comes bounding I'm at 6 but that's because I'm a night owl and generally don't get to sleep until midnight--- how to combat that one?? Not drinking def helps.

@Newyearnewarse DH doing it too, to be honest he needs it more than me, his habits rubbed off on me though so it's good to break it together.

Breathmiller

Where on earth are you to have woken up to snow?

I’m so jealous! It’s 9 degrees here in South Wales.

I woke up in great mood, nice and early, coffee before the kids woke up, nice calm morning!

I hadn't mentioned to DH, but he obv would have noticed the lack of wine and early nights. He can be negative about stuff. But I thought this morning Bollocks. So I showed him the app. All excited about it, showed him the calories saved and the money saved and said when I'm finished this I'll take the money saved and buy some nice new clothes for my nice new figure. But he interrupted saying No you wont thats not real money in your bank is it.

We're not skint, I'm not fat. He earns way more than me but I am the budgeter. We've had a tough few years- nothing major just general life stuff. But I'm the one on anti depressants and a drink habit and he is the one that has devoted himself to his hobby to a fairly high level. His job can be tough going and it does get him down- life is not a total bed of Rose's for him either. But I never said one fucking word about anything he ever wanted to do. The time, the money, just Go for it love, we'll manage, yolo.

I'm so fucking deflated.
He did apologise in fairness, but I still have that wilted feeling. Foolishness mixed with frustration maybe.

Good job it happened in the morning so I have all day to fortify myself before the wine witch comes calling.

7days don’t be deflated. Hopefully we can help you rally that mood round. Despite what came out of his mouth (without any clear thought, why do they do that?) you are doing brilliantly and already you’ve made a massive difference to your health .

And yes actually is it real money in the bank - Money which would otherwise be in the till of a supermarket for buying a liquid you’d have peed up the wall by now, so whilst it’s not a gain it’s a saving and both are real money 100%.

Turn that deflation into determination and be more determined than ever to get to the end of January.

Awww 7days that's a shame he can't be more supportive.

Mine knows I am doing it, but we hadn't discussed in detail. But he has noticed the difference in me, particularly our lack of arguments, and so I think he may join me for the rest of the month.

Thank you for your lovely supportive words Nomorewineever

He's a thoughtless git but he wont derail me.

I AM going to lose a few pounds and buy a nice new outfit with the money saved. We all are!

And thank you too SegregateMumBev.

You sound like a great poster girl for DJ

@7days - don;t be deflated. But do have a chat with your DH about it. Say you never put him down about his hobby and his ways of boosting his health and his happiness. Whjy did he deflate yours? Why not be supportive? And in what way is the money saved not actual? You didn't buy wine. So you do have the money you would otherwise have spent.

If he's apologised, that's a good sign that you can set a higher bar for how he reacts to your goals and rewards in life. You respect his. He needs to respect yours too.

7Days it sounds like he had no understanding of how important this is to you, and now he does, so I hope he pulls his finger out and gives you a bit of encouragement! And despite what he says it is the equivalent of money in the bank!

I've had no cravings yet but I'm all too aware that it's Friday tomorrow and Friday evening has typically been quite boozy in our house. And enjoyable. I am wondering how to replicate the easy laughter and relaxation. We need something to do to distract us from what we usually do, if that makes sense (DH is now doing this too after a bit of hemming and hawing).

Personally I'd love a shagfest but with teenagers in the house that ain't happening

7days of course it is money. I think this is my year 5 (in which I probably only manage 3 or 4 weeks twice a year), but the thought of "fun money" and weight loss is what really motivates me.

My first "treat" was a big bunch of flowers that sat for 10 days looking beautiful, glaring with disapproval if I thought to look at the wine rack!

In an established couple it is very easy to become self-centred. I only tend to notice what DH is consuming if he has just finished the bottle I planned to have a glass of or we run out of bread/cheese whatever.....EXCEPT when I am trying really hard to abstain. If it isn't something that bothers me, I probably wouldn't spot it.

Maybe your 'announcement' just came as a surprise to him, even though you have been thinking and living it for over a week. If he isn't a drinker, it wouldn't sound tricky.

Looking forward to hearing about your great new outfits at the end of your DJ.