Dry January 2020. A new relationship with alcohol. Who’s joining me?

[ParanoidGynodroid]

It’s that time again!
I did my first dry January around 5 years ago, having seen it on here. It was a great thing to do: really helped my get control of my drinking. Since then I’ve done it every year, along with at least one or two other dry months.

DJ may help you:
Lose weight. ...
Get better skin. ...
Make healthier food choices. ...
Save money. ...
Sleep better. ...
Have more energy. ...
Improve your mood. ...
Improve your general health

and make you feel virtuous!

It’s not necessarily easy though, so it’s good to have support; especially if you’re feeling week and like you may give up. We can support each other here.

Join me!

I was a bit tempted this evening as we had people over for dinner and I would have loved a glass of wine while cooking. But it was a brief craving and then totally fine and I enjoyed my tonic water and then a cup of tea after. I got some Lapsang Souchong to try and that was lovely!

Sober party no 2 done. It was actually a dinner party and so I concentrated on enjoying the food. I often get into stupid arguments with people at dinner parties if drinking so nice to be home and know that I absolutely haven't.

Taking DC1 to a sport event tomorrow - plenty of driving and fresh air.

Then I need to think of something veggie for tea as we have decided to go fully vegetarian in our house. (Previously half were and half weren't). Might cheat and use up some left over Xmas sausages on the pretence of making more space in the freezer.

Well done everyone. Ive noticed on a lot of Netflix dramas the middle aged women love a glass of wine. Thinking Dead to Me etc. I love wine, just a month off and cutting down is a must for me.

Woohoo, we got through a Saturday night, well done all!

Veggie meals: I made roast Med veg with halloumi last night, and did a double chopping session to make a ratatouille at the same time. (courgettes, aubergine, peppers, mushrooms, onions all the same ingedients)

Went to bed at 9.30 last night. Didn’t sleep amazingly well but still better quality than when drinking. It’s DH’s turn to get up with the children so I am just hiding out in bed for another hour or so. I will tidy my chairrobe which is shameful when I get up and that will be a nice treat for myself all week. Normally I am too tired to put my clean clothes away and then it builds up over the week and then I get drunk on Friday night and the pile Moves to the floor as well! Not this month

This podcast gave me a lot to think about - Feel Better, Live More with Dr Rangan Chatterjee #85 Is it time for a tactical break from alcohol? It talks about how alcohol is so entwined in to our lives and how to think about cutting down/quitting.

Morning all.

Margot there are some good books about that speak of how women are being sold the myth of alcohol in popular culture.

Catherine Grey's The Unexpected Joy of Being sober speaks of it.

My total favourite is by Ann Dowsett Johnson 'Drink' The Deadly relationship between women and alcohol.

There is another good one that speaks to me (because it talks about a toxic triangle of drinking, binge eating and other eating disorders and depression) called 'Eating, Drinking, Overthinking' by Susan Nolen-Hoeksma.

All these books touch on how alcohol is sold to society- and sold to women in particular by the alcohol industry. It is quite eye-opening!

I was thinking the exact same thing margot and maple - I don’t think I realised this previously. That normalisation must have a huge effect in the psyche!

So happy today marks the start of dry Jan for me! Would like to actually stay dry until my 40th end of March, we will see. Can't wait to feel so much better in the morning, the festive period has poisoned me

Morning all

So happy to have got to day 5 ! I am ashamed to say I cant remember the last time I have done this. Especially getting through a friday and saturday without any .
The normalisation of the end of day glass of wine is everywhere.
The 'wine o clock ' culture is all pervading and has definitely changed massively in my lifetime.
My parents rarely had any drink in the house and only drank if it was an occasion.
This is what I want to get back to. I enjoy a drink with friends but the every day habit of reaching for something because I've had a tough day is not good.

I completely agree, can’t remember the last time I had a sober Friday/ Saturday either. It feels so much better!
Just hope I can keep this up. Having alcohol free options definitely helps

Never mind all the other benefits (fatty liver) - there are so many more hours in the day when you’re not drinking (even a small amount in an evening).
Very useful discovery

I'm determined to keep going on DJ, but I am really not enjoying it.

Surprisingly, apart from briefly on Friday evening, I am not minding not having a drink (which I though I would really miss), but I feel rubbish. I'm exhausted, and when I do sleep I'm getting really intense dreams.

Yes, got through the whole weekend alcohol free!! But why am I still waking up with a banging headache on day 5!!? 😔

I'm in, if that's ok. Started on 1 January, so today is Day 5 for me. DH and I both want to reset our relationship with alcohol - it's nice while we're drinking wine, and represents "grown up time", but it stops us both sleeping, costs us money that is better used elsewhere and messes with our mental health. Time to stop.

I was alcohol free for 2 years a while ago, and felt great, but I stopped and The Drink has crept up gradually since then. Lots of therapy later I understand what the deal is, but I still need to actually stop drinking.

I've been reading Catherine Grey and she has some excellent points to make about how Drinking Women are portrayed in society. Successful women are rich, beautiful, slim, poised, madly intelligent, fighting off romantic interest with a stick and sipping wine every evening. They are In Control of their drinking. When the other side is shown, it's entirely negative - people who Can't Control Their Drinking are weak and people who Don't Drink are boring / uptight / control freaks.

Although, she also says this isn't the case with cheese and weight gain for example; and I think she's wrong there.

Has anyone else realised how shit certain foods make them feel now they're not drinking? Pasta in particular makes me feel sooooo crap, I think before I put it down to having drunk the night before.

Re the money and savings thing... I have done a rough calculatiuon of my weekly spend on alcohol (one night out per week at the pub; wine per day plus a bit extra at the weekends) and have set up a savings account where I am going to put that amount in.

A good friend of mine (and her DH) gave up drinking a few years ago. She said that she was amazed to have so much more money left over each month, and it ended up paying for an all-inclusive summer holiday for the family which otherwise they would might not have afforded easily.

Her phrase was 'drink is literally pissing money down the toilet'.

Oh and also me and DP's relationship is already sooooo much better

So we should be very proud. For me that’s the first sober weekend in 11 months. This in itself is an achievement. Was it awful? No, but I’d have preferred it with wine. I’d also have preferred it lying on a beach but I didn’t get moody about that, so I need to get the same way about wine I guess.

This social myth thing - when you’re out and about (choose a day when you encounter shops too) spend a day totting up all those references and you’ll be shocked. The first thing that hits me in the face in Tesco is a rack of throws with ‘prosecco’ sequinned on them. Glasses with ‘gin’ printed all over them. Gin and tonic flavoured muller yogurt???!!!! And as for TV - everyone is drinking. EastEnders is the worst - there are few scenes where there isn’t booze at all - everyone drinks every day except for those who have a massive problem and are alcoholics. It’s very normalised.

Up for me - poached eggs and stripping the beds. Then shoehorning the children into getting ready for the week ahead. Once I’m past 8pm today I’ll be absolutely fine till next Thursday so frankly bring it on, quickly!!

Well, made it through my first weekend.
I would usually have a bottle of wine on a Friday and another on a Saturday. Just at home in the sofa, we have a 2 year old and DP doesn’t really drink that much.

I absolutely noticed the difference in my energy levels the mornings after when I would have had a drink. I felt lights and brighter, more patient.

DP said he prefers sober me.

That all kinda cements it for me. I didn’t find it hard not to drink, I did some CPD work whilst watching the telly and having a laugh with DP.

We rarely go out on an evening, so I just won’t be drinking as much.

Feel quite happy about it.

Took ages to get to sleep again last night but on the plus side I read my book for ages instead of falling asleep after 2 lines. Also slept for 8 hours again which is amazing. Feel a bit groggy this morning but am on day 4 of Adrienne's 30 day yoga challenge so hopefully will feel better after that. Back a work tomorrow so hope I can get to sleep a bit earlier tonight. Got through the weekend without drinking for the first time in YEARS though!

Feels great to say sober weekend doesn't it? Well done everyone

Going to do some batch cooking for work lunches today to get on with the healthy eating. Determined to finish this month at least half a stone lighter.

Day 8 here.
This thread is great. I'm finding it so interesting hearing everyone's thoughts and such a support.

Well done to us all.

I actually stayed up really late and binge watched something which I never do because usually I would be tired from drinking and asleep halfway through a programme or going to bed before everyone. It was fun.

I didn't so so well on healthy eating yesterday, i was in the need for that weekend treat mode but as I went up to bed I realised that if over the years doing this I can control my previous out of control drinking then I can do the same with food.
I never thought I'd be someone who could say that about alcohol.

I used to be a really heavy drinker, both socially and at home. But since starting dry january years ago I feel I can say I have a much healthier relationship with alcohol which as I head into the menopause can only be a good thing.

I'm not getting complacent though, I'm aware it could change so that's why I'm finding this thread such a support.

So thank you to everyone who is contributing.

Oh, the vivid dreams! Anyone else?

I had one very vivid dream, but then woke up to go to to loo as usual, then had another very vivid and annoying dream. I woke up this morning and was still trying to work out how to get out of my predicament as I lay in bed. Then I realised I was awake and it wasn’t true! So happy!

I put that Ceders fake gin in my online Tesco basket a couple of days ago, but as I was adding things yesterday it suddenly, said it was no longer available. Very disappointed. Not sure I want to splash out on Seedlip.

Well done everyone who’s got this far. This is day 5. We’ve had 4 full days already, which is 13% !

Oh, and don’t forget the fatty liver!

13% makes it sound great Paranoid