What recipe have you tried, hated and wished you never wasted so much time making it?

[kevintheorangecarrot]

I have just tried a creamy garlic, chicken and mushroom sauce and I really wish I hadn't now. I consumed as much as I could as well as my DH, then thrown the rest in the bin (thank god for food waste recycling where I live!)

Any curry I've ever made just isn't authentic and tastes like crap.

Red onion and chilli chutney I thought it would be a nice crafty thing to make for fil for xmas, it took ages, cost a fortune, made the house stink and tasted crap.

Nigella's ham in Coke. It was truly and awfully disgusting. 'Save the cooking liquor for soup' she said. Except it smelt like petrol.

But people rave about it, which I really don't understand. I'm a good cook and I followed her instructions to the letter, but it was disgusting and got thrown away, which was a huge waste.

Chinese dumplings / wontons. Loads of faff, and nowhere near as good as the ones in the freezer of your local Chinese supermarket. Yes, that’s right, the ones in the colourful bags which the Chinese students buy....

Stuffed and rolled breast of lamb. It took an age and was beyond fiddly. It was bland and boring and the stuffing was soggy. Never again!

Kedgeree.

'Healthy lunch sweet and sour from lunch of nom. It was grim I'm just sticking to my usual unhealthy recipe in future.

Hummus, wallpaper paste would have been cheaper and tastier
, Jamie’s make ahead gravy, just nothing like gravy.

Curry I can do.

Slow cooker anything ... just no.

Aubergine Parmigiana.

Lovely, therefore every so often I temporarily forget how boring it is to fry tonnes of aubergines and give it another chance. Always regret it.

Nigella’s chicken with about 14 lemons. Tasted awful, far too overpowering. It was only afterwards, with common sense engaged, that I realised what a stupid recipe it was in the first place. Ridiculous!

BIWI I second the ham in coke, I did that a few years ago and had to bin it. Revolting

chipsandgin

Vietnamese prawn rolls. Or prawn condoms as they will be forever known in our house. The outsides were a cold, rubbery, claggy disaster that stuck to the roof of your mouth..I’ll leave them to the experts in future!

Oh yes!

The only good thing about having made them was just now, when I was able to relay your "prawn condom" description to OH.
I mean, I still really regret them but that's very slightly taken the edge of my bitterness.
Thank you

Another vote for hummus. I made loads of batches, soaked & boiled the chickpeas, blitzed the garlic, drizzled the olive oil, lemon juice & tahini etc etc but it still wasn’t even close to being as nice as Sainsbury’s own brand.

I think the ham in coke is fantastic. I cook it quite often for buffets (and of course at Christmas) and it always receives rave reviews.

Slimming world fish pie.

Even the dog wouldn’t eat it.

A peanut butter baked cheesecake. God it was gross.

I did a chicken with peanuts, coconut milk and green beans that I thought would be lovely and was just weird.

Sometimes the same recipe can come out completely wrong the second time. I made a very intense beef and onion casserole a few weeks ago and it was one of the nicest things I have made. Tried making it again for friends and I couldn't serve it to them as is smelled like dog food.

There is a flatbread recipe with yogurt and flour that I simply cannot make work.

I don't even try most indian recipes - I simply could not make them as nice as a good indian restaurant or home cook (was friends with an indian woman years ago and her cooking was unbelievable - I missed her when she went home)

Huge Furry Shittingstall's Hand Raised Pork Pie. Cost an arm and a leg and was vile. The book wasn't cheap either!

Mace...blurgh!

Most chinese/ stir-fry dishes. I'm shit at them, can never get the pan hot enough and they're just bland and slimy. Hummus though - I love homemade hummus and even I can't screw it up too badly!

Bao buns. Tasted good but looked shit

Yes to Jamies get ahead gravy with frigging star anise, which gives anything a horrid flavour

Hot cross buns. Took ages and were just solid lumps.

I can bake other things absolutely fine, no idea what went wrong.

Jamie Oliver’s squash and spinach rotolo. His recipe involved fresh pasta which I didn’t have, so I used lasagne sheets. It took about two hours to assemble and then another 45 minutes/hour to bake. Tasted great, but it was essentially a fancy fuxking lasagne and a waste of my bastard time!

New England Clam Chowder - loads of faff for a not very good soup - could have made a first rate chicken soup in half the time.

A vegan raspberry, peach and lemon layered tart. The first clue should have been the turmeric added to the lemon layer. That, and the zero sugar to any of it. Disgusting and bland at the same time.