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Original poster

help me work out what to say if I have a "funny turn " in public

33 replies

peridito · 29/12/2019 14:04

Several years ago I had surgery for cancer and this has left me with a shortened digestive system .I'm mainly fine but sometimes I have an episode where I get a range of symptoms which I can't always control .

These include visual disturbances ( sort of zooming in and out and unfortunately can make me cry out in alarm ) disorientation ,inability to concentrate or know what to do ,shakiness,involuntary jerks ,raging hunger and thirst .

These can be quite unexpected but tiredness ,stress ,bright lights etc can make me more prone and these have happened when I'm out and about or travelling . They do pass after 20 mins or so and I need to sit quietly and eat/drink .

What should I say to people if they ask if I'm alright - should I just say ,"I need to sit somewhere and drink something ,can you help me find somewhere "

From experience ppl don't really like to leave it there ( which of course I understand ) and when I fee;l like this I can't explain things proper;y or reassure them that it will pass .Ppl often want to get medical help and I would like to avoid that .It's a challenge in itself trying to explain to someone what is causing the symptoms .

I'm thinking I need to practice what to say .

(Somehow,written down , this all sounds worse than it is ,as tho I shouldn't go out on my own but I guess it's on a par with the onset of a migraine .)

OP posts:
ExpletiveFairylighted · 29/12/2019 14:07

Could you write it on a card that you carry with you to show people? Maybe laminated.

Original poster
peridito · 29/12/2019 14:14

I have wondered that ,just something short with the main points - need to sit down quietly ,drink ,medical assistance not required .

But wondered if that would seem odd .Blush

OP posts:
Okki · 29/12/2019 14:22

I'd like to think I'd respect your assurance that medical help wasn't needed but I'd be concerned. If you had a card or something with you, that would reassure me that it's something you're accustomed to experiencing and you are as prepared as you can be and know what to do for the best. Then I'd offer to stay with you until you were feeling ok. Unfortunately there are too many people who say they're fine when they aren't

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General health
ClientListQueen · 29/12/2019 14:28

I would do a card definitely. Saves you having to explain too

ExpletiveFairylighted · 29/12/2019 14:30

I think I'd find the card reassuring as it would show that you are aware of your condition and your needs, that it wasn't the first time it had happened and that you weren't just saying you don't need medical hep to avoid a fuss or similar.

Spied · 29/12/2019 14:32

Card.
When this happens am sure you wouldn't care less if it looks odd. As a bystander I wouldn't think it odd.

VimFuego101 · 29/12/2019 14:35

I agree, I think a card shows people that's it's a known condition rather than an unexpected funny turn.

WorraLiberty · 29/12/2019 14:38

The card wouldn't seem odd at all. It's a great idea.

I'm a first aider and that would save me having to ask lots of questions and you feeling you have to answer them.

In a situation like that, I'd make sure you sat somewhere with a drink and stay until you said you were ok again.

itsgettingweird · 29/12/2019 14:44

Card.

Ice on phone.

Medical alert bracelet with number to call who can reassure.

My ds has similar funny turns and people really are well meaning but I know what you mean about something being normal for you even if it's not normal!

2020cominatcha · 29/12/2019 14:44

A card would be a great idea.

As a PP said, people often say they’re fine when they’re not. If I stopped to help someone I’d be happy to leave them alone if I could see that they really were all right.

I’m truly not a meddling so-and-so but a “better safe than sorry” type when it comes to health!

helpfulperson · 29/12/2019 14:49

If appropriate you could also add a contact to the card for people to call to let them know. The other bit of information that is useful is how long it generally takes you to recover.

But I agree with others, a card would reassure me that this was normal for you.

Original poster
peridito · 29/12/2019 14:51

Oh thanks everyone ,that's really cheered me up Grin and reassured me that a card would be a good idea rather than a weird one !

It rather depressed me listing symptoms but having read replies I feel more normal.

I do now offer help myself to ppl if I see someone looking unwell .I didn't use to fearing I'm a busybody but there have been times when I'm unwell but feeling too vunerable to approach ppl and ask for help and would have so welcomed assistance .

OP posts:
SmudgeButt · 29/12/2019 15:18

Both a first aider and also very nosey - it's a great combination! But I know there are limits.

If someone is unwell and I'm helping I'll chatter with them and get the necessary bits to treat what's immediately the issue. When it's a "I just need to sit" kinda thing I will ask "oh do you want to talk about it?" If someone says no, then that's fine and I'll chatter on (or not as required) about something trivial to pass the time. If I was handed a card with details I'd be fascinated and might be tempted to ask more so I'd suggest a final line about "that's the whole story so please don't ask more unless it's medically necessary".

Ilovesausages · 29/12/2019 15:38

A card is a great idea.

Drizzzle · 29/12/2019 15:41

A card. I have a friend with a different (unusual) condition and she has a card, works well.

AnnaMagnani · 29/12/2019 15:43

Some of it does come down to your own confidence unfortunately.

I drop my blood pressure and I can usually stave it off but sometimes there is nothing for it but to lie on the floor. Apparently I look like death's door, and I have registered some dreadful blood pressures. People always want me to go to A+E/call an ambulance and don't believe me that there is no need.

But I feel fine lying on the floor even if I have lost all dignity.

Just calmly saying, this happens to me, I have a diagnosis, I need you to get me x, y and z usually is enough.

There will always be people going 'are you safe to drive home', 'shouldn't you do this' - they mean well and TBH it's nice to know that people look out for others.

allthesharks · 29/12/2019 15:49

Yes. I agree that a card is a good idea. Maybe include on it "This is a known condition. This has happened before. It usually passes after 20 minutes. If I feel I do need medical assistance I will say" and obviously specify what you need/don't need to help it to pass. Perhaps you could also include an emergency contact on the card so if the person helping you needs further reassurance they can call them rather than an ambulance.

Original poster
peridito · 29/12/2019 18:50

A card it will be .

Unfortunately added into the mix is some loss of rationality but @AnnaMagnai your Just calmly saying, this happens to me, I have a diagnosis, I need you to get me x, y and z usually is enough.is a great recommendation .

OP posts:
Hellokittymania · 29/12/2019 18:57

Not quite your same situation, but I have a card to to let people know that I’m getting overwhelmed, or I need help. I have special needs, My disability is obvious, but other things aren’t, and people tend to want to stay around and help me, and talk to me…

BathshebaKnickerStickers · 29/12/2019 19:01

I have gone into anaphylaxis before - I have a couple of cards

Original poster
peridito · 30/12/2019 09:07

@Hellokittymania - another card carrier ,good to know I won't be the only one !
Do you mind people staying around and chatting ? I'm thinking that must be hard if you're already feeling overwhelmed .

Bathsheba that sounds v scary ,puts my difficulties into perspective .

OP posts:
FraglesRock · 30/12/2019 09:13

I used to have emergency card on one of those crappy elasticated twirly key chains. Clipped on my bad but popped in.
Because of the texture so easy to feel and pull out.

NotanotherboxofFrogs · 30/12/2019 09:31

Hi op can i recommend Stickman Communications

Original poster
peridito · 30/12/2019 10:06

Fraggles and boxofFrogs thank you ,I like the idea of one of those key chains - I do get terrible brain fog so an easy to locate card would be great .

Stickman looks good ,possibly a blank card for me to write on .

OP posts:
Original poster
peridito · 30/12/2019 10:08

Um.....for people in similar position ,how do you work out who to approach for help ?

I once spent 10 mins clinging to a lamp post unable to decide what to do or whether I could target anyone to come to my aid Smile

OP posts: