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help me work out what to say if I have a "funny turn " in public

33 replies

peridito · 29/12/2019 14:04

Several years ago I had surgery for cancer and this has left me with a shortened digestive system .I'm mainly fine but sometimes I have an episode where I get a range of symptoms which I can't always control .

These include visual disturbances ( sort of zooming in and out and unfortunately can make me cry out in alarm ) disorientation ,inability to concentrate or know what to do ,shakiness,involuntary jerks ,raging hunger and thirst .

These can be quite unexpected but tiredness ,stress ,bright lights etc can make me more prone and these have happened when I'm out and about or travelling . They do pass after 20 mins or so and I need to sit quietly and eat/drink .

What should I say to people if they ask if I'm alright - should I just say ,"I need to sit somewhere and drink something ,can you help me find somewhere "

From experience ppl don't really like to leave it there ( which of course I understand ) and when I fee;l like this I can't explain things proper;y or reassure them that it will pass .Ppl often want to get medical help and I would like to avoid that .It's a challenge in itself trying to explain to someone what is causing the symptoms .

I'm thinking I need to practice what to say .

(Somehow,written down , this all sounds worse than it is ,as tho I shouldn't go out on my own but I guess it's on a par with the onset of a migraine .)

OP posts:
ClientListQueen · 30/12/2019 10:14

I would personally go for someone who doesn't look in a rush maybe? So not someone rushing and shouting into a phone or a mum wrestling 4 children
Last time I felt unwell (thought I was going to faint) I went into a bookshop as it was the closest thing and they were lovely

Trumpton · 30/12/2019 10:20

I feel for you . I am half way through chemo and up til last week still had hair so did not look as if I needed help.
I did need help suddenly last week and think I will make a card . The person I asked last week was wonderful , didn’t fuss , got me water, and left me quietly but I think a card is a good idea .

peridito · 30/12/2019 10:27

Trumpton thank you .
The Stickman site helpfully recommended by Notanotherboxof frogsstickmancommunications.co.uk/product/blank-card/

has blank cards which you can customise and also hidden disability badges
though you might want to wait for them to remove their v annoying pop up re holiday closure ( especially if you're at the point where you are suffering from steriod rage or feeling unwell )

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LittleMissnotLittleMrs · 30/12/2019 20:05

Hidden disability lanyards are great - I have one plus I bought a card online to attach to it stating my issues. The lanyards can be bought online but I got mine from LPL airport and you certainly get them from Gatwick. Our M&S have them at customer services. I wear mine a lot and often have conversations with shop staff about them. Sainsbury's, M&S, ASDA, Tesco, most airports etc have them and given all staff training so the word is getting out. Other than through the online hidden disability store, you should NOT have to pay for a lanyard.

LittleMissnotLittleMrs · 30/12/2019 20:06

hiddendisabilitiesstore.com

BathshebaKnickerStickers · 30/12/2019 20:12

as far as who to approach - if you are in somewhere with staff - shop, cafe, restaurant, theatre, school, then a member of staff.

Otherwise I’d probably go for a woman like me - my age (I’m 49) - that’s who I’d hope would be the most empathetic.

Never happened when It e been away from my family but it could...

getyourbollocksoutofmyface · 30/12/2019 20:13

My mum takes non epileptic seizures - they look like epilepsy but they aren’t so she doesn’t need an ambulance ... she carries a card, has a wristband too and I’m trying to get her one of those sunflower lanyards too .

When trying to get help I usually wait to be approached or depending on location ask for someone to get store employee, first sister etc ...

Sometimes it’s surprising the people who try to help you though, I was ignored once in busy high street with mum apart from a man who was rough sleeping and came over to try and help ! He was very, very kind - much more so than everyone else who sticks their head down and carries on walking .

peridito · 30/12/2019 20:31

Oh getyour I guess homeless people are still people ,though I also guess some can be out of it ,and include good kind souls as well as those less kind .

But it's hard I know ,I've been more often ignored than offered help .

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