What can I spend money on this year that will really benefit me and isn’t more stuff?

[GravityFalls]

I’m a single parent on a budget but I do have money that I could spend on myself - only it’s hard to know what to spend it on. So instead of spending maybe £50 a month on one thing that could bring me joy and enhance my life, I fritter it away and buy cheap clothes and wine mostly.

I’m always interested in subscription things but I worry they’re too expensive for what you get, and I’m not interested in accumulating stuff at all. I keep seeing offers for things like online guitar lessons/language courses etc and I wonder if that’s the sort of thing I need to really make me stick to a hobby and get enjoyment from it.

Gym membership would be great but the single parent/work full time thing is just not conducive to anything that needs me to leave the house. So evening classes or anything are pretty difficult for me to set up.

I’ve had beauty boxes and liked them but ended up with too much stuff to use. I enjoy clothes but I think that would end up the same way as I already have a packed wardrobe.

I like to draw and paint and I have a guitar and keyboard. I’d like to lose a bit of weight and get fitter too. I’m already a confident cook and savvy supermarket shopper so the food boxes don’t appeal to me. I don’t like magazines much any more and get free electronic copies from the library anyway otherwise a magazine sub would be the perfect sort of idea. I do enjoy cryptic crosswords but weirdly I only really like prize ones even though I never complete them. It’s the challenge aspect I enjoy most.

Really I want someone to send me something that I can do or use, that will be out of the ordinary (for me), and ideally make me think. Anyone found anything along those (very very vague) lines?

What makes you feel good OP? I spend too much money doing things I don't really get massive enjoyment from (clothes and food mostly) , and like you I'm busy and want to spend my money on things that I really love.

So, I've signed up to a flower subscription because I love them and they make me feel good. I may increase my cleaner's hours because a clean house makes me feel good. I already pay membership fees to a couple of galleries because I enjoy doing that, and love going to concerts/plays (although my dp tends to buy those tickets for me). I already pay for a yoga membership because I love it.

Other than that, it's going to be travel and my house this year. Not clothes (have far too many) , not pointless gadgets and not eating out/takeaways.

I am thinking of violin lessons. I do love a cocktail too...

How about quarterly theatre trips? Or a membership at your favourite theatre or concert hall?

Are you interested in meditation and mindfulness? The Waking Up app is great. You can subscribe for 15 € a month

I would consider:
Paying for a year of the Calm app (it's fantastic)
An Audible subscription
A cleaner
Buy some items for the food bank with some and donate said items every month.

I think your life actually sounds full and even rather cluttered... both in terms of stuff and activities, and you are assuming that spending that money on yourself would make you happier. Maybe it's time to challenge that assumption altogether? Or conclude that it doesn't matter if you fritter it away, if that is what pleases you, and don't need to be spending it on anything more 'worthy'.

In a more long-term and serious way - therapy was the best investment I have ever made in myself. But that is more like £50 a week not a month. Amazing thing to do, though.

@YogaLite at independent training g school in Scotland.

Can you sew?
I started this year and am absolutely shit but I have made a few items of clothes that I am so proud of, I dont think anything could ever make me so happy as sewing. I cant describe the sense of achievement and peace it has brought me. I am being so much nicer to myself too.

There's 5 elements to it, measuring, cutting, marking, stitching and pressing.
I didn't understand that at first and just wanted to sew, but the other parts are just as important.

I have so much more respect for clothes now, I cannot believe the amount of work (and fabric) that goes in to making an item of clothing.

I got really easy beginners patterns from 'Tilly and the Buttons' and I started watching the videos on the www.foldline.com

I really think if you might like it. Make something for yourself and you can wear it. Best of luck.

Re: sewing
Here is the last pattern I used, it was £14.50 and I will definitely use it again, many times I hope! It's called the 'indigo dress and top'

shop.tillyandthebuttons.com/products/indigo

I used a black fabric but if you look at #sewingindigo you will see hundreds of different versions of it, it was really enjoyable to make, it took me ages but I'm so happy with it.

Best wishes with 2020 and I hope you find what you are looking for.

YNAB subscription - it helps you take control of your money. But only if you have that much to spare. If you're not sure you could start off with monthly and only go for the yearly subscription if you decide it's working for you.

Are you crafty? In the evenings I sew, crochet etc. Relaxing but feels like I'm using my brain a bit. If you like clothes you could start making your own :)

Save up for a touring caravan...life changer..especially if you join the caravan club..so cheap to stay places with them.
We had three tourers In about 9 years but now we are getting On a bit and want a proper bathroom, we have a static.
Loved our tourers. My daughter sold a really good one for £200
There are bargains to be had if you know where to look

I would spend money on childcare so that I could get out of the house more.

Hi OP!

So, trying to suggest things within your parameters (self-care, want something to show for it, not accumulate ‘things’ and not things you have done already), I have done, or would be looking at:

• subscription to the Calm app (or Headspace) and meditating regularly
• yoga or Pilates x2 every week - the health (and mental health) benefits are great and it will keep your mind and body health to continue doing everything else you love
• massage every week/fortnight (time out, relaxing and good for your body)
• Piano lessons - I took this up again 5 years ago and it takes a fair bit of your time! It’s not just lessons, but 15-60 mins practice a day, depending on what level you are at. It is a real challenge and it both annoys me (working on a new piece) and thrills me (when I finally can play a complicated passage/piece). You would definitely feel a sense of achievement here.
• arrange to do something with a friend/sister, possibly a class, if you really wanted to increase the learning, but even just a wine every Thursday night, or a walk and a coffee every Saturday afternoon (or fortnight). I would love this and regret that my sisters live too far away to do it.
• gardening? I have grown some herbs and 2 types of vegetables this year, and I have felt so proud and accomplished! I’ve never really been a gardener, so this is new!
• declutter your house. Whilst it won’t cost anything (unless you replace old/broken items?) I have been doing this, and the sense of satisfaction it brings is incredible. I wouldn’t have believed it if someone told me. It works on three levels - one that look around and see a clear uncluttered home, where everything has a space and each item looked after and looks nice, secondly, it is easy to clean/tidy as you are just returning things to their space, not having to think where things need to go, and finally, not having a lot of emotional energy or decision making into ‘things’ has been a surprising emotional relief.
• getting a cleaner.

Hope this helps!

I forgot to add - a digital declutter is also great thing to do. I felt so proud when done, but also very silly, as it was all done digitally, and I hadn’t thrown away anything that could be seen!

Cross stitching is my little hobby and I love buying and sorting new threads. I am making samplers and framed canvases, so far all for gifts but hopefully I will make something for myself this year.

Can I go again and make a different suggestion?

I agree with Rhubarb that your life sounds quite full and you've tried a lot of suggestions already. Please understand I'm not being arsey when I say I wonder if you'd be better spending this money on someone else rather than yourself. I honestly think this might make you happier than another add-on for yourself.

I would suggest a charity that you can also be involved in in a small way. You could sponsor a child, adopt an animal, join Amnesty and write letters/sign petitions (they send you a magazine with info in), RSPB membership and you could visit reserves and do things for wildlife in your garden or local area. Join RNLI and learn about their work. Or any other charity really

@Dowser - your daughter sold a great touring caravan for £200??? If she sells another, please PM me. I don't want one but a dear friend of mine is saving every penny and would be over the moon to find something useable at such a bargain.

I would prioritise health - food and exercise. The issue with the latter is that due to your circumstances you have v few “timeslots” to exercise, especially out of the home.

Podcasts are free and liven up the treadmill. Also loads of good, free workouts online.

A set of kettlebells or dumbbells from 5kg to 20kg and do some weights based exercise every evening in your living room for ten minutes.