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Original poster

What can I spend money on this year that will really benefit me and isn’t more stuff?

68 replies

GravityFalls · 27/12/2019 22:13

I’m a single parent on a budget but I do have money that I could spend on myself - only it’s hard to know what to spend it on. So instead of spending maybe £50 a month on one thing that could bring me joy and enhance my life, I fritter it away and buy cheap clothes and wine mostly.

I’m always interested in subscription things but I worry they’re too expensive for what you get, and I’m not interested in accumulating stuff at all. I keep seeing offers for things like online guitar lessons/language courses etc and I wonder if that’s the sort of thing I need to really make me stick to a hobby and get enjoyment from it.

Gym membership would be great but the single parent/work full time thing is just not conducive to anything that needs me to leave the house. So evening classes or anything are pretty difficult for me to set up.

I’ve had beauty boxes and liked them but ended up with too much stuff to use. I enjoy clothes but I think that would end up the same way as I already have a packed wardrobe.

I like to draw and paint and I have a guitar and keyboard. I’d like to lose a bit of weight and get fitter too. I’m already a confident cook and savvy supermarket shopper so the food boxes don’t appeal to me. I don’t like magazines much any more and get free electronic copies from the library anyway otherwise a magazine sub would be the perfect sort of idea. I do enjoy cryptic crosswords but weirdly I only really like prize ones even though I never complete them. It’s the challenge aspect I enjoy most.

Really I want someone to send me something that I can do or use, that will be out of the ordinary (for me), and ideally make me think. Anyone found anything along those (very very vague) lines?

OP posts:
StepawayfromtheBiscuittin · 27/12/2019 22:55

Are you spending it on clothes because you need them or just because?
If it's the former, then how about creating a pot twice a year and going to a Debenhams or similar for a personal shopping appointment? I know it's 'stuff' but it should be quality and style over quantity if you get someone good.

Or I recently started to go every four weeks to the beautician and get my nails, eyebrows, lashes and waxing done. No big deal to some people but a new habit for me that has done wonders for my self-image. Maybe something like that?

StepawayfromtheBiscuittin · 27/12/2019 22:56

I also like @Basilicaofthemind's idea

Original poster
GravityFalls · 27/12/2019 22:58

I really don’t need clothes! I have loads. I do wear most of them and love changing it up and wearing different outfits every day, I just also love a bargain and can’t resist the reduced rail or charity shop, the cheaper the better for me. But at least part of that is that it’s a cheap and easy way to feel like it’s something for myself. I do think about saving up for classics but honestly I think I’d get bored of them after a while. I’d rather have five cheap jumpers than one expensive one. I’ve bought high end stuff before and it didn’t do anything more for me than a top from the Sue Ryder shop tbh.

OP posts:
RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 27/12/2019 22:59

Save it and have a weekend away every couple of months?

Maybe a book subscription? The lovely Daunt books definitely do them but there's probably others too.

Stuff to have a pamper night every couple of weeks? Face mask, lovely bubble bath, maybe a hair treatment?

Stuff to make recipes from a particular cookbook each month?

BarbaraofSeville · 27/12/2019 23:07

If you have a DP can you run outside when they're looking after DC? Do active family activities like walking, swimming, running around at the park or in the woods?

Save it rather spend it, your future self might find something more expensive to spend it on.

EmeraldIsle81 · 27/12/2019 23:12

Would you like to donate it every month to a local charity to support events that they hold? Eg, There will be a charity like Link Living that holds coffee mornings/lunches for elderly people, providing transport to ensure people who live alone can come along and see friends. A regular donation they can rely on makes a huge difference. You will have a warm fuzzy feeling in your heart.

Original poster
GravityFalls · 27/12/2019 23:16

I already save money every month so that’s not an issue.

The trouble with DP watching kids when I run is that at the moment it’s pitch black every time at home in the week and I don’t like to go out in it (I know I can, I used to in the past, it just really puts me off now) and also I’m so tired after a day at work I can’t face it. I should go and before I was a single parent working full time I did go in the evening but I can’t make myself, I’m knackered and want to hibernate. C25k is no good as I can run 5k already. I need something that makes me do something. I had a gym subscription but I just couldn’t go enough to get my money’s worth and any interesting class was at a time I couldn’t get to. A big house with a home gym would be great!

OP posts:
Original poster
GravityFalls · 27/12/2019 23:20

I go on a lot of country walks and treks out with the kids. We know every attraction and scenic place within a 30-mile radius! There aren’t any NY properties nearby and I already have access to EH places for free (although there are precious few of them).

I already have a bullet journal and enjoy lots of free activities - I didn’t always have money to spend so got used to doing everything on a shoestring for a while. As a result we have lots of nice weekend days out in the fresh air with a picnic. Which is great but doesn’t motivate me on a dark weekday evening when I just want to collapse but feel like I should be doing something instead of wasting my time lying around.

OP posts:
Yesterdayallmyfish · 27/12/2019 23:29

You seem to pack lots in already. I think I would just continue to use the money for little treats when I wanted them and to use the little time I had spare to relax.

SciFiScream · 27/12/2019 23:44

Lendwithcare. You invest money in micro loans which get paid back.

It's great fun. It's great philanthropy. I've put in about £80 but have loaned over £400. Helped create jobs, send children to school.

I always invest in groups of female entrepreneurs.

Set up a CAF charity account and let the pot grow. Then occasionally invest in charities that inspire you.

Pay for a babysitter and go to the cinema

Go to comic con or a Star Trek convention.

Take your DD out for fun experiences. Things that you'd enjoy more then her perhaps? (But are still child friendly of course)

I know you said you savings are sorted but either over pay mortgage or put more in pension.

Take up an expensive and challenging/stimulating at home hobby!

Or alternatively - how much more could you save on your expenses? If you were really frugal? Could you afford to drop an hour a week at work? Or more?

Money helps buy time. So buy time. Maybe by not earning the money in the first place. (Last option as my least favourite)

Save for your DD - start a pension for her.

NeverTwerkNaked · 28/12/2019 00:29

Definitely a cleaner. Because it gives more time for other things if someone is sorting a chunk of the housework.

Afonavon · 28/12/2019 07:38

As you knit and crocket, what about a sockyarn subscription box? Truley Hookes, Rosiesmoments, etc. Or any independent yarn dyers sub boxes? Cooking subscription boxes/ gin subs?

CormoranStrike · 28/12/2019 07:58

Evening class?

I try to do one a year, as lifelong commitment to anything gets stale for my.

I’ve done calligraphy, cooking, scrapbooking, massage and car maintenance!

Dowser · 28/12/2019 08:57

We lead a busy lifestyle. We live between two venues most of the year.
In November I spent 10 days in my own home. That was the most I’ve lived here in one hit since January.

I’ve been so looking forward to January 2020 and to having a whole month at home and I realised that hibernate is exactly what I wanted to do.
So I am and am loving it. Especially as it’s been quite mild and I’m not too cold on days i have ventured outside.
Maybe you need to tell yourself that it’s ok to hibernate, to rest your body
As you sound a busy person.
The other night I hadn’t slept more than 6 hours, so I went to bed in the afternoon and slept for over 2 hours and still slept on the night...it felt ok because it was winter and dark but it would not have felt ok in summer.

You’re knackered. Your body is telling you to rest so do it.

My Dd is a very busy women. She’s here there and everywhere. She’s taking her time to recover from a heavy cold and I think her body is making her rest. Just when she things she has the energy, wham she’s back on the sofa or in bed for a nap.

That’s my take on it but apologies if I’m totally wrong.

YogaLite · 28/12/2019 16:45

I would save for weekends away with DC's, could be history, art or geography/natural world related.
Eg, years ago, we took our ds to see Vesuvius and Pompeii when they were doing volcanoes.

YogaLite · 28/12/2019 16:46

@CormoranStrike, where did u learn massage? Our regular evening classes don't do it.

bsc · 28/12/2019 17:02

What about a subscription to Slightly Foxed? Or there's a bookshop in Bristol or Bath that sends out books monthly (sorry can't remember it's name, but it's definitely in that area.
Or a subscription to private eye? (They do a great cryptic crossword!) Or economist, or an investment magazine, and perhaps start a stocks and shares fund?

Purpletigers · 28/12/2019 17:06

Teach yourself how to crochet/cross stitch/ sew?You’ll have no problem spending money on either hobby . Have a look at attic24 for crochet inspiration.

Gazelda · 28/12/2019 17:28

What about an online photography course? You could do it in the evenings, and practice when you're out and about with DC. The £ can help you buy new lenses or editing software.
Our council organises walks that are accompanied by a professional photographer who gives you tips, points out good subjects, and inspires you to do other walks or try other photography styles.

absolutelystarvingcaterpillar · 28/12/2019 18:27

I've just booked an online photography course and am looking forward to it.

I gifted myself an Audible subscription this year and it's been brilliant. I don't get much time to myself so rarely manage to sit and read books (usually fall asleep if I try anyway) but do have some time walking/commuting etc to listen to audiobooks and it's been really stimulating to listen to a variety of books through the year.

marvelousways · 28/12/2019 20:08

I was going to say babysitter so you could run a couple of times a week, but I understand your difficulties with this. I run early mornings before work (still dark though) could that work at all? would your partner ever be there then?
Other than that I would spend money on going to the theatre, musicals mostly but whatever you enjoy. I could easily see one a month. And it would make me sooo happy. Grin

DreamingofSunshine · 28/12/2019 20:30

I'd go for a crochet subscription box, either Toft or little box of crochet.

Stockmarketup · 28/12/2019 20:36

Someone to do the ironing or a cleaner.

PickAChew · 28/12/2019 20:39

Good, weather proof coat, good boots etc. Buying something good for its purpose that lasts is always a decent use of a budget - definitely better than subscriptions that may or may not turn out to be useful.