Just need a rant tbh. Long story short, im pregnant. We announced it to my parents who were over the moon, incredibly supportive and lovely as we expected, straight away said they’d help us with babysitting where ever they can and were even lush enough to offer to buy us the travel system! (God send! They’re so expensive). This will be my parents 4th grandchild and yet they still go above and beyond for all of us.
We then told his parents. (His dad and his long standing step mam, his biological mam died when we was 8 months from lung cancer unfortunately, and his step mam never had kids of her own). With my partner being an only child this will be their first ever grandchild/step grand child. They were surprised but happy, congratulated us, but didnt seem anywhere near as supportive and forth coming with it as my parents were. They never said a thing about baby sitting or offering to buy any items, which is fine! We can provide for ourselves and we don’t expect this from then, but we just thought they’d be the same as my parents but obviously not.
Fast forward to now. Im 20 weeks and still not a peep out his parents. They’ve never reached out, asked how i am, popped round to see us, nothing. They Still havnt offered to help in anyway at all, again, his is fine but i thought they’d have wanted to be well involved/been excited with it being their first and probably only grandchild. My partner noticed their lack of effort (probably more because he compared them to how much my parents have helped us already just chipping in getting little bits here and there) so he broached it with his own parents. He’s done it in a sensitive way, just by simply telling them how excited my parents are and how much they’ve chipped in already, in a hope it would start a conversation with his parents about this subject and see their real opinions behind it all. This must have triggered something in his parents who snapped ‘we’ll get something when the baby comes!’ Defensively. My partner didnt push and just went yeah thats fine, yous just havnt seemed very excited about it as we are but thats fine. We realised that everyone’s different and that my parents are naturally just alot more giving than his and we just accepted his are probably going to be less involved. (But his parents earn a hell of a lot more than mine, and are taking early retirement in 6 months-just to add context).
Anyways, before Christmas they asked what we wanted for a Christmas gift. We have a list of baby items we’ve been ticking off along the way that we or my parents/family have bought. My partner kindly gave them a list of things we dont have yet, the things we still need and just said to them if they pick one item off the list we’d be happy with that as we already have everything else we need. The stuff left on the list are not expensive at all, just little things like blankets/lotions etc.
His step mother has went and ignored this suggestion, despite her asking, and decided to buy us the things we clearly stated we already have. And then bought it in fucking pink before we knew what we were having, and we found out its a bloody boy! We cant help but think shes done this to be awkward as shes done stuff like this in the past when in her petty moods. We dont want to sound ungrateful, but at the same time shes just wasted money! Partners pulled her on it politely and just reminded her shes got us the things we already have/didnt need. She laughed at my partner and went ‘well, thats life! If her parents didnt buy it all in the first place and left some ideas for us then this wouldnt have happened!’ Even though they made no effort to communicate with us for the first 4 months and then snapped at us when we asked! Its like we cant win. Shes so controlling and awkward!
We’re so grateful for anything and everything we’ve gotten of people so far, we never ever expected the amount of help we’v received and we are so lucky for it! we never ever expected anythingg or gave any form of entitled attitude around this at all as we’re financially stable to get what we need. We just dont fucking see why shes wasted money out of spite and just been awkward after being given clear information/instructions.
We now have two baby bouncers, two baths, two changing bags, and a fuck load of pink dresses. I feel shes done it all on purpose to make us look ungrateful and like we’re rude. And probably because she has a bee in her bonnet because my parents have been more involved than her. But they’ve had loads of opportunity too. They’re so awkward, we cant bloody win. My partner feels shit about the situation and keeps saying he’s embarrassed at how shite his parents have been in comparison to mine. Ive told him not to worry and it’s absolutely fine and reminded him its not about what people provide and everyones different, trying to not make him or them feel pressured at all. But its definitely the final straw with the in laws now. They’ve been more hassle than they’re worth in the past 4 years ive known them.
Sorry. Rant over.