How would you respond to this comment

[RoseMartha]

"I only use you for what I can get from you. I only pretend to like family members for what they will give me".

I can not go NC with this person.

I find this very hurtful. I have explained it is hurtful and why. I have explained it is ungrateful and rude. Makes no difference and person usually laughs in my face.

Sorry not sooth

It sounds attention seeking to me rather than genuine.

It sounds like something a young person would say when looking for a reaction.

If this is your child I would suggest counselling. They need it or they are going to grow into the person they are telling you they are.

Sounds very teenagery, designed to wind you up or to come across as "dark". Stay calm and they will probably improve soon.

I am nc with dm and df. Nobody gets to abuse me.
You can go nc with whoever you need to op.
Nobody can stop you.

You can go nc with whoever you need to op.
Nobody can stop you.

Well yes but how many people really want to put their kids into care and never see or hear from them again, if for example the OP is talking about her child?

If it were one of my teenagers, my reaction would depend on whether or not I thought they meant it. Teenagers try on all sorts of ridiculous hats and can say hurtful things for effect. If I felt that this was happening, I would calmly say "I think you'll be quite lonely, if that's really how you feel. I provide things for you because I love you and care about you."

If it was the expression of an ongoing behaviour - if the child treated me and others like a convenience and seemed to have poor attachment - I would probably ask for help. GP and ask for a CAMHS referral, or organise counselling if I could afford it. Try to initiate a proper conversation about what was going on behind it, because happy well-adjusted children don't behave like that.

Sounds like a button pushing teen. I have two teens, the elder autistic. The nasty things that sometimes get said require regular dilution with wine and a hug from DH.

Fortunately for me it's a teen phase and this too will pass. They have more nice moments than nasty and we do discuss when emotions are de-escalated.

'resign' from duties if it's your dc.
Cheeky dc become self sufficient here for back chat.
A post with lack of detail is difficult op.

In guessing this is your child (probably teenage). If so, I'm sorry they are speaking like this, there's a long standing thread in the Teenagers topic about supporting each other through these types of difficulties. Hth

I’d guess teenage They can be self-centred mercenary buggers. Take it with a large pinch of salt.

I think , ‘Yeah, whatever, and I love you too,’ is the correct response if a teenager.

If it is a teenage child I would encourage their independence whereby they can get their own meals, do their own laundry and ironing, change their own bed. Rather than 'using' me.

Not difficult tasks [meals do not need to be hot/cooked].
Adults may then be appreciated and possibly respected.

I wouldn’t respond. Would file all their future shenanigans under A for arsehole.

Sorry for not responding sooner I had to clear up after dinner. This is one of my dc who lives with me and still at school.

How old are they?

That’s horrible, and your dc is rude and ungrateful.

I’d be tempted to do the bare minimum, and if they ask for extra money for clothes etc, refuse.

That's teenagers for you. I'd say "it's a shame you feel that way as it's not going to be a very satisfactory or enjoyable way to conduct relationships in the future and you could end up very lonely. But I'm your mum and I love you anyway, so that's that."

Still at school? How old?

I'd respond with righto then, and make sure they got sod all for their next birthday. I'd also stop paying for their luxuries.

Teenagers in particular can be total twats.

Thank you. Yes I know I have been talking to dc about entitled attitude and sheer nastiness. It seems to have materialised since starting secondary. Dc is 12.

It’s vile teenspeak by the sound of it.
They can be so cutting hurtful, and they say it to be hurtful.
They have to flex their muscles because on the one Hand they feel disempowered, and on the other they feel like they know everything and are the centre of the universe.
The only way b you can salvage it is to not react. They are doing it for the reaction.
If you want a bargaining chip , so that they do things like pull their weight in the home, or don’t swear at you, or whatever, is to hit them where it hurts which will usually be digital. Pull the plug on the standing order for their phone contact or whatever.

You can get them to treat you with a bit more respect but you can’t actually get them to respect you.

Just seen your updates.
12? That is early for rubbish like b that to come out of their mouth.
Sounds like they are testing the limits. I’d come down hard, and praise lots for everything good or even neutral they do.

12? You know they don’t mean that right? It’s boundary pushing, they don’t have the empathy/maturity to really mean that.

Treat it like you would a toddler-

‘I’m sorry to hear that dear. I do love you very much however. Now did you want chicken or fish for tea on Friday?’

Yes at 12 they don’t mean it - I think I would have a chat to them about empathy and respect. Tomorrow they’ll probably be telling you that they love you again x

I said some truly awful things as a teen (and younger) I just remember being angry. I don't bloody know at what. Life.

But I absolutely adore my parents now. I even call my Grandmother every day.

Is there any other worrying behaviour?
If not I agree with above.