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Original poster

MIL passed away yesterday, no funeral insurance, no money, what do we do?

49 replies

StormyLovesOdd · 26/12/2019 13:42

Having the very worst Christmas, my elderly MIL passed away suddenly yesterday. On top of everything else me and DH both have flu. feel so sorry for my DS, he's took himself upstairs I think just to get away from the misery (cry)

MIL never wanted to think about her death, she's left no money to help pay for her funeral, no plans, savings, nothing.

We're on benefits so don't have a lot of money to spare anyway and as you can imagine this time of year we have even less than usual. I'm panicking how we're going to afford to pay for the funeral. Does anyone have experience of this situation? MIL does own a very old and run down house. It's not going to be worth much as it's in such a state and in a bad area but do funeral directors let you organise the funeral and pay for it once a house has sold?

I just don't know what we're going to do

OP posts:
Ronnie27 · 26/12/2019 13:43

Contact the Burials Officer (or local equivalent) at your county council. There are funds you can claim, particularly if you receive benefits. So sorry to hear this. Flowers

RollingOutOfBed · 26/12/2019 13:46

You may be able to claim money towards the funeral as you're on benefits though it may have to be paid back from the sale of the estate later. https://www.gov.uk/funeral-payments

I'm so sorry for your loss. HmmThanks

RollingOutOfBed · 26/12/2019 13:47

Where the hell did that emoji come from? Sincere apologies, only the flower was supposed to be there.

Check that page. Hopefully you'll be eligible for assistance.

dontknowdontknow · 26/12/2019 13:48

Yes they do - we did just that with my FIL. Probate took ages and they had to wait... I don't remember it being a big deal

Original poster
StormyLovesOdd · 26/12/2019 13:50

Thank you, yes it looks like we would be eligible for help towards the costs. At least that's a bit of weight off my mind.

OP posts:
Topseyt · 26/12/2019 13:50

Sorry to hear of your loss, and that you are also unwell at the moment. I hope that at least you and DH begin to feel better soon.

We paid for my MIL's funeral once her house was sold. The remaining proceeds from the sale were then divided up equally between her three children, of whom my DH is the eldest. She had left no other cash with which it could be paid.

We arranged it between the solicitor dealing with the will and the funeral director.

Speak to the funeral director. See what payment methods they are willing to accept and go from there. Don't go too overboard on expenditure for the funeral and you might find it can be done. You won't be the first to have run into this difficulty. They will have heard it all before.

JoyceJames · 26/12/2019 13:55

The guardian last year produced a couple of articles by people who had taught themselves to run their own funerals. It is easy, more personal and much, much cheaper. Also cardboard coffins are coming in more, and definitely better for the environment.

Poor you.

Snowpatrolling · 26/12/2019 14:02

This happened to me, my dad died and me and my brother were left to deal with it as no one else wanted to spend their precious money.
You can claim up to £700 to go towards the funeral, however we chose the cheapest option which was £3100 for the funeral so had to pay £2400, luckily we already had a burial plot for my dad within my grandads grave.
We had to find the rest of the money, some funeral places allow for a house to be sold before payment, unfortunately we didn’t have this option as dad lived with nan.
I had to take out a loan to pay for the funeral.
Sorry for your loss.

JigsawsAreInPieces · 26/12/2019 14:04

Sorry for your loss Flowers

NoHummus · 26/12/2019 14:06

Sorry for your loss. I don't know where you live but if you are by any chance in Scotland you can get help with funeral costs from the Scottish Government: www.mygov.scot/funeral-support-payment/

NoHummus · 26/12/2019 14:07

Sorry, I didn't see that a similar link had been posted earlier. Hope you manage to get some help.

ArranUpsideDown · 26/12/2019 14:14

That Guardian piece is very good and helped out several people that I know.

Roselilly36 · 26/12/2019 14:18

Sorry to hear of your loss, assuming you are in the UK, and their aren’t any funds available to pay for the funeral, the council will help you arrange a basic funeral.

apacketofcrisps · 26/12/2019 14:19

If you have no money the council will have to provide a “paupers funeral”.

Babyroobs · 26/12/2019 14:25

DWP funeral grant. Look on the Gov.uk site.

Queenofheartsnomore · 26/12/2019 14:31

Sorry for your loss Flowers

whataboutbob · 26/12/2019 14:42

Apologies if someone has mentioned this already, it you can access money from your MIL’s account ( if there is anything) to pay for her funeral costs. You’ll need to find her bank/post office account details and go to them, explaining the situation and requesting they free up funds for funeral costs.

Daffodil55 · 26/12/2019 14:45

apacketofcrisps

No need to call it a pauper's funeral these days. With millions on the breadline or unemployed and no back up savings then if the family can not fund the funeral then a plain but respectful arrangement is funded by the state.

Sorry for the loss OP and awful at Xmas or at any time!

Babyroobs · 26/12/2019 14:47

Also make sure you ring the 'tell us once' service to cancel any pension/ disability benefits etc to avoid overpayments. You can claim the DWP funeral grant if you are taking reponsibility for the funeral and are on benefits yourself but they will also look at your dh's siblings ( if he has any) and their ability to pay. You have to list them on the form.

bridgetreilly · 26/12/2019 14:50

You can get help towards the costs, but also you do not have to use a funeral director and you do not have to have a lot of the things which people sometimes spend lots of money on. Funerals do not have to be as expensive as you think.

I'm sorry for you loss, and especially for the timing.

ssd · 26/12/2019 14:52

I'm very sorry for your loss Flowers

FurryDogMother · 26/12/2019 14:53

We used the Co-op to deal with both probate and the funeral for my Dad - funeral costs (apart from £900) were charged against the estate, so will be paid once his flat has been sold. Any other debts/bills etc. for which he was liable will also come from the estate before the balance is payable to the beneficiaries of his will. HTH, and sorry for your loss.

bilbodog · 26/12/2019 14:53

Dont wish to be insensitive but you can also have a direct funeral which costs less - if none of you are religious or bothered about a formal funeral you can ask for MILs body to be cremated without a ceremony which is cheaper and then you could have an informal get together at home to remember her and scatter her ashes where you feel appropriate. Sorry for your loss.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 26/12/2019 14:54

This will help step by step with what to do

www.gov.uk/after-a-death

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