MIL passed away yesterday, no funeral insurance, no money, what do we do?

[StormyLovesOdd]

Having the very worst Christmas, my elderly MIL passed away suddenly yesterday. On top of everything else me and DH both have flu. feel so sorry for my DS, he's took himself upstairs I think just to get away from the misery (cry)

MIL never wanted to think about her death, she's left no money to help pay for her funeral, no plans, savings, nothing.

We're on benefits so don't have a lot of money to spare anyway and as you can imagine this time of year we have even less than usual. I'm panicking how we're going to afford to pay for the funeral. Does anyone have experience of this situation? MIL does own a very old and run down house. It's not going to be worth much as it's in such a state and in a bad area but do funeral directors let you organise the funeral and pay for it once a house has sold?

I just don't know what we're going to do

So sorry for yoru loss and for this awful Christmas. So sorry you are dealing with this whle feeling so ill too.
Try and find a moment to tell yoru DS that this just happens to be a really awful Christmas and you'll make it up to him in the new year when you are feeling better and in stronger spirits.

You can get Simplicity Cremations for under £1000. It's no frills but as others have said, definitely not a 'apuper's funeral. A very wealthy relative of ours left strict instructions that this is what he wanted, as he didn;t want to waste any money on his death - he preferred ot share it among the living.

If you can get some costs covered of up to £700 too then you only have to find £300 between you. I know that's still a fair amount but if everyone in the family chips in, it's less horrendous than finding thousands.

You can have a very simple memorial either in a private room in a pub with people paying for their own drinks, or in your home or hers. The atmosphere is created not by fancy food and venue but by people sharing their memories of her, reading a poem, playing her favourite music etc.

I’m sorry for your family’s loss.

Direct cremation is much cheaper than a full funeral and as far as I know, you can use the funeral support payment to help pay for it.

Sorry. Here's the link Simplicity Cremations

Don’t contact a funeral director or organise any funeral until after you have contacted your council department for information on any type of benefit for funeral

Inform council tax your MIL has died

Will there be a coroners enquiry?

I'm sorry to hear this. Hopefully you will be eligible for costs towards the funeral.

I see someone above has mentioned direct cremations. I am buying my mother a direct cremation, which only costs about £1200 (£600 for the funeral director, and £600 for the crematorium fees). If you want to pursue that, if you google you will find companies who specialise in this, but I am using a local funeral director who offers the service.

Funerals don't have to be expensive - doing the legal minimum is enough (death certificate/registration, a 'straight to crem' arrangement with no flowers, no wake, a simple service and one car to transport the body - if finances are really tight, most of that can be arranged by the council, although you won't get a say on the day or time). An oft-repeated saying is that 'funerals are for the living, not the dead'.

Big, expensive funerals don't have any impact on the person who's died. How much you spend does NOT reflect on how much you loved and respected the person who died - in fact, often those who spend a lot for a big, showy funeral with lots of guests and a huge wake do so because they are trying to deflect attention away from not doing enough to love the person when they were still alive.

So, if you know in your hearts that you loved and respected your MIL, and did your best for her in life when she was with you, then you don't need an expensive funeral. You just need to say goodbye with dignity with the legal minimum. Others who judge you unfairly for that aren't really people you need in your lives.

I lost a DP last week, I know it's not easy. Thoughts are with you.

Call your local council tomorrow. Proper independent family firms (not dignity chain) will help you through your options, you are not alone in this. The council are really good, I deal with them too often, it's a no frills service at 9am usually and cremation but you can choose a religious or non religious celebrant.

Previous poster mentioned cardboard coffins - when Dad died three years ago they were far from the cheapest option.
I’m sorry for your loss

You dont have to pay for a funeral MIL's estate does, which will come from the sale of her house

Ok listen, you can help help, I think they give you around 2 and a half grand, What you need to do is be very clever about this, shop around, cremation is cheaper, you dont need a minister you can talk yourself if you wish, theres a company that does an all in one for around £999 you would have to google it though. Wtch funeral directors they will try and sell you urns and stuff when you could buy one cheap at home bargains. You do not need a family car or flowers, you can do the basics. There is not law either to say that you cant put a coffin in the back of a transit van or whatever to deliver to the crem or graveyard. Please please do not put yourself in debt its not worth it, funerals are for the living not the dead. Even if you wanted flowers they do lastics mums, dads ect on Ebay which look ok.

It is also very important to cancel all bills asap so your not having to pay them too, If she was on benefits you need to contact them also.

Don’t be afraid to look around to compare prices
Although my mums wasn’t cheap my mums funeral including order of the service booklets and family hearse was £2800
The exact same funeral package with Dignity was just short of £4200 so almost £1400 difference

Avoid the big chains Dignity often take over small family funeral companies and still use there name

You will need at least 2/3 copies of the death certificate which is £11 each
One for probate and one for the funeral director I think and one for any bank accounts

When you go to register the death, you will sign a tell me once form( think that's what it's called) it automatically informs DWP, Council tax. The council should be able to tell you what help you can claim when you are there to register the death.
Sorry for your loss

So sorry for your loss and miserable Christmas.

I'm wondering how old your MIL was. I've noticed with myself and everyone in my life (except my husband because he's plain weird) start thinking about their mortality around 60-65 years old. Most wrote a will, some put together scrapbooks of their life/did ancestor research, some handmade keepsakes to leave for their loved ones, one even wrote a small handwritten autobiography. All mentioned what they want done with their mortal remains. I've gone overboard. I'm in my mid-60's and plan on being a legend in the family lol - although my son did tell me I'm not getting the Viking funeral I requested. You don't have to have lots of $/£ to leave behind to plan for when you finally shuffle off your mortal coil.

Again, I'm sorry for your loss & stress.

I'm so sorry for your loss, OP.

My Dad died three months ago and had a basic cremation. It was what he wanted and as others have said, it's the least expensive but still very respectful. The local independent funeral director arranged it and added a few nice touches without cost.

I hoe you get the help you need.

I also hope you both recover from flu soon. 💐

Sorry for your loss, you've had some good advice on this thread so please follow up on it. The advice to cancel bills/pensions and contact the tell-it-once service is really worth doing.

I'm so sorry to hear this. My dad died on Christmas day nearly 30 years ago, and it's a particularly difficult time, both emotionally nd in practical terms.

As PPs have suggested, contact the burials officer at the council for advice.

Many condolences.

Call your local council and in the circumstances with you being unable to pay due to being on benefits and nothing in the estate until the house is sold, they may be able to help you. I would certainly get advice from them before you agree to anything with the funeral directors.

It is called a paupers Funeral, I didn’t just make up the name 🤔🙄

www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-46796036

@Daffodil55

Thank you so much for all the advice. My DH is an only child without much extended family so it will all fall on him. MIL would never talk about funeral arrangements, she had a phobia about death/hospitals so used to shrug it off every time we tried to discuss it.

We will definitely look into the no frills cremation and hopefully we'll get some help towards the costs and be able to pay the balance later when the house is sold.

The house is a whole other problem, MIL was a hoarder, the house is like something out of those hoarder tv shows, with old newspapers and plastic bags full of stuff piled sky high (sigh....). I can't even begin to think about how we're going to tackle tgat until I feel better

StormyLovesOdd get house clearance in heopfully they will take it all anyway, take anything out that is of sentinmental value x

You can claim this payment , www.gov.uk/bereavement-payment it is not means tested and very straight forward to claim , I used it when my DH died , it was a god send , esp the monthly payments meant I had help for a year after he died .

for you and your family .

Firstly sorry for your loss .Really the worst possible time at Christmas and being ill as well .I was in a similar position when DM died and found a Funeral Director willing to wait for payment .(you may have to pay some of the cost upfront ,not too sure ). Sincerely hope 2020 is a better year for you all .Sending hugs to you take care xx