What are your guests doing that is doing your head in?

[rainywinterday]

For me, my mum is sat next to me and burping around every 5 seconds or doing some sort of mouth smacking noise. Pointless calling her out on it as she'll just say it's because she's got a cold (it's not). I want to gouge my ears out.....

What is everyone else putting up with in the name of family merriment?!?

Oh fuck, MIL has just said she is here until Monday. Apparently DH knew but they both 'forgot' to tell me. How did 48 hours turn into a week?! But I can't say anything because DBro is living here so it is only fair that DH can also have relatives to stay.

@ThunderboltandLightning Don't you have that friend who needs you to come and stay to help out for a couple of days? I think her name is That Cheap Premier Inn Not Far Away.

MIL really surpassed herself tonight by not noticing our 5 year old drawing on the living room door with a bloody sharpie while she was babysitting for 3 whole hours ffs

Bringing a 4 pack of beer as a contribution for four days,..

Bringing a 4 pack of beer as a contribution for four days,..

MIL brought a pint of milk and half a rotten cucumber. For a week. I wish I was joking. No she doesn't have dementia. It just doesn't occur to her to contribute.

I would be massively surprised if my DM brought anything (though TBF she's only staying 2 nights and we don't normally expect anything).

breathing

XP came for eight Christmasses and this year just for Boxing Day. His only contribution was lager which he'd been given as a tip - which neither he, nor anyone else in the house, drinks. Never thinks to ask if I need anything brought over, or to bring treats or snacks (leaves them all at his house for him to enjoy after he's been here). In all nine years he's never thought to bring a contribution! Eats everything while he's here, and criticises everyone who eats the things he doesn't like (cheese, eggs, cream, dips, cheesy biscuits, etc etc etc) by making 'sick' noises.

He also never asks what time would be good for him to arrive. He just decides and comes. His inability to consider anyone else is one reason he's an ex.

Constantly asking me to get them things that they are perfectly capable of getting themselves. Most of our drinks are in the garage as I'm short of room and I'm like a bloody yo-yo!

Praising DH for his cooking efforts and insisting he sits down and relaxes rather than clearing up (without offering themselves)- we both cooked FFS, what am I- scotch mist?!

@Zaphodsotherhead why is he still coming exactly?

When asked anything, replying with some variation of
'It's up to you'
'Whatever you prefer'
'Whichever is easiest for you'
'I'm easy, whatever you decide'

Just fucking tell me what you fancy for breaker/lunch/dinner/drink/snack/telly/afternoon walk/cinema/whatfuckingever. Just answer the effing question.

@drspouse - because he lives alone with no friends and doesn't like his family. I wouldn't have him on Christmas day but had open house on Boxing Day and invited him for that. We're still friends. I just can't be in a relationship with him!

Does someone who makes sick noises when others are eating deserve to be in the category of "friend"?

We have avoided family until today and just spent Christmas with various lovely (and well behaved) friends.
Are on the way to MIL now. Considering starting a sweepstake for how long it will take for me to be annoyed by something she says.

@drspouse - He's ASD and genuinely doesn't realise.

"She got the hump when dd2s gift was better than what she got her DS. So spent all day criticising DDs present. Googled the price, reviews and kept going on about how shit she thinks it is. DD loves her present.

How fucking rude. Did you not bollock her arse after the first comment? "

DD herself pulled her up on it. Sil pretended not to hear, repeated herself to someone else, and then when she didn't get the response she was after moved on to the next. She will blank any confrontation completely.

Constantly leaving all the (internal) doors wide open in the house and then saying they're cold. It's an old house, there are draughts which is why we push the doors to or occasionally completely close them.

In fact as I've typed this FIL has left the warm living room (warm because the door had been shut since I shut it when I came in 30 mins ago), left the door wide open whilst he went off to do whatever, has come back in and sat down, still leaving the door wide open, and has reached for his jumper as he's sitting directly in the line of the draught.

JUST SHUT THE DOOR FFS.

Dmum has blagged herself between me and dais’s since Xmas Eve, with the ‘I’m not here to be burden speech’ but my God trying to get her to do anything other than wash up.......and the bombshell’s constantly being dropped of which medication she has run out of/forgotten when she’s done her top up trips home.......
Tonight she was supposed to have been at home but denied all knowledge and started on the teary eyes.........
I might sound cruel but considering the lack of empathy shown over my life.......

Taking away the biscuits! Child very politely asks if they can have a biscuit. I say yes and give them biscuits which they offer round, before helping themselves to one and putting them on the coffee table. Biscuits disappear; FIL has put them away out of reach of children. I get biscuits back and the above is repeated, several times. It's Christmas, if someone wants more than one biscuit in one sitting that's fine with me!

No guests now but would love to share the guest things that annoy me...

My step dad who refuses to go to bed but sits in front of TV snoring like a freight train for 2-3 hours every evening
A friend who insists on showering in our shower and not the guest one (even though the guest one is far better and near their room, not upstairs in the family but)
My Dad and step mum who drink twenty cups of tea a day while I'm at work, use a fresh mug each time and helpfully put them all in the sink, not the dishwasher which is just next to it... And who ask 'what's for dinner?' the second I get home, then complain if I don't know yet.

I could go on.

@bearfoxbear
Hairspray! Miraculous stuff works wonders on sharpie on walls.
Sorry about the MIL though.

Thanks @YellWat!