What are your guests doing that is doing your head in?

[rainywinterday]

For me, my mum is sat next to me and burping around every 5 seconds or doing some sort of mouth smacking noise. Pointless calling her out on it as she'll just say it's because she's got a cold (it's not). I want to gouge my ears out.....

What is everyone else putting up with in the name of family merriment?!?

Drinks MIL now gone. Thank goodness. So loud, dominates everything, eats with mouth open and whilst talking. She hasn’t said anything interesting ever. Always wants alcohol. Never drinks just water, lemonade etc. Expects cooked breakfast. Oh and took home the bottle of gin brought for us, just took it no do you mind if I take back what o brought. She is cheeky and rude as F**k.

Thankfully no guests for Christmas
The last one was DP’s 17 year old granddaughter, a few weeks ago, she was here less than 24 hours, in which time she had three baths, two in three hours , left seven wet towels on the bedroom floor, the bedding covered in fake tan, looked like an Oompa Loompa massacre. Various cups and glasses left in the bedroom, some still with liquid in, one was an untouched mug of tea. She spent the time either in the bath or on her phone including being on Instagram the full 50 minutes I spent curling her hair and pinning it up for an event she was attending that night. I felt like a maid. She dropped non too subtle hints about money or rather her lack of it, these fell on deaf ears.

We have just arrived with the inlaws and they've invited a house load to arrive 5mins after we arrived. So tired from hours of driving in poor conditions, and now there's no seats left. Need an alcoholic drink but there aren't any. Tesco anyone!

The people talking about the unhelpful SIL's...do your brothers help with washing up and clearing the table etc?

Still being here is annoying me enough when it comes to MIL. She told me she was going home yesterday. She is still here and no idea when she now plans to leave...

On the other hand, DBro and SIL are living with us for long and complicated reasons. They are great. Brilliant at entertaining kids, doing at least their fair share of the shopping, cooking, cleaning, dog walking etc.

Sitting doing nothing but controlling tv and eating all the Xmas chocolate out the tub and leaving the horrible ones. If I move the tub away it will look so obvious why I have

Absolutely love having them here and dont want them to leave but MIL likes to keep every scrap of food in the fridge even though there is no chance of anyone eating it. Everything is wrapped up in tinfoil in the fridge, theres a juice bottle in there with 15 ml of old fanta. Half a slice of ham. Cookies that none of us actually liked have been kept in a biscuit tin for over a week.

I'm also in a very passive aggressive Hoover standoff with them as there are currently 4 adults in the house, and only one of them is 36 weeks pregnant and so far has been the only one to Hoover. Thankfully mess doesnt bother me too much but the house is desperately needing a Hoover and I've decided I'm not doing it so I'm happily shedding hairs waiting for someone else to offer.

Singing "I wanna know what love is, I want you to show me" (just that section) repeatedly, DS6 was singing it out of tune and the guest was singing it out of tune too so as not to make him feel bad. She never held back about me singing out of tune when I was small!

Raindancer411 Alarm! Set your phone to ring an alarm in the kitchen in two minutes' time. Wander into living room. Pick up the box while standing and have a root through. When the alarm goes, rush back to the kitchen and take the chocolates with you. Decant favourite ones into a hidden container and return the box with the yucky ones.

What a great thread! I need somewhere to vent. My Mum (who is lovely and I feel guilty typing this) drove me mad. She stayed for 2 nights, she is deaf, has hearing aids but doesn't wear them half the time so I have constantly had to say everything twice. I think she may be starting to lose a little bit of mental capacity too so I've also had to explain things twice. She has managed to criticise something in every room of my house. If I hear 'what you need in this room is...' one more time. Thankfully, I dropped her home late afternoon yesterday and today has been a recovery day. My DD had a friend over today and they have entertained themselves all day while I have sat on the sofa in a heap, watching tv (without questions/interruptions) and stuffed myself with chocolate. It has been bliss.

@SallyLovesCheese that’s sneaky, I love it!
Guests are all gone now and we had a lovely time but it infuriates me that the in laws never make themselves a drink when they’re here. They would rather sit there and dehydrate than ask for a drink or help themselves. I’m usually too busy making food or clearing up or entertaining toddler DS so why can’t they just bloody help themselves? We have an open house where people just help themselves to whatever is in the cupboards or fridge but they just sit there like lemons. Really bizarre and makes it hard work when I’m already in a flap.

I will add, I always make guests drinks when they arrive and when everybody is sat down for dinner.

My MIL hums whenever she is doing something. Constant droning humming of any tune unless she's watching TV. It's driving me crackers.

My DM is not here yet but she is also slightly deaf
Me: something
DM: what did you say?
Me: repeat slightly louder
DM: why are you always SHOUTING? You ALWAYS shout. It hurts my ears so much. Why can't you speak in a normal voice?

I need a little vent.... Christmas day - in MY house - male guest in his 50s looking at pictures of young naked ladies on his phone whilst sat next to my teenaged daughters.

He was asked/told/made to leave.

Caused a scene, but FFS - next to teenage girls, in my house , on Christmas day! I was gobsmacked.

No @SimonJT that is totally fine! MIL is German and we put the subtitles on from the minute she arrives, plus it's good for the DC. But then she effing complains during the Gruffalo or during the Snowman that there weren't any words oh please woman. When is your flight/train back?

Plus in Germany there are next to no subtitles for my family. The only programs are the main ones like the news or PMQT.

Breathing.

Mine have all gone now. House is peaceful again.

Don't get me started on food though. Years of usual and predictable gluttony was catered for. However was faced with 'we're don't eat anymore' at every mealtime....would have been nice if you'd let us know you'd decided to go on hunger strike for main meals (whilst mainlining chocolates when you think no ones is looking) and I wouldn't have bought so much food and wasted money I don't have 😡😡

My guests are my parents so....ddad is quiet but occasionally offers brilliant suggestions or an amusing anecdote. Dm, on the other hand, still treats me like a moronic 6 year old and literally every utterance is either an instruction.....I am late-fucking-forties fgs- or something so stupendously pass-agg someone should give her a medal. Arrrgh! One day left.......

@SallyLovesCheese Oh thanks, that's an idea :)

Existing.

I was half asleep when I read the thread title and misread guests as gussets and was most confused. Gussets can sometimes be annoying but I'm old and sensible now with correspondingly sensible (but not old) gussets.

DM & I get on for short stints. Anything more than 2 nights was pushing it. DM starts getting critical about everything and I put up with it for a little while - until I lose it. Obviously, nothing I do is right....the new thick bouncy towels were impractical for washing, why did I buy those? I couldn’t help retorting that it was supposed to be a nice gesture for them - new luxurious towels bought specially for their stay. Had I known she preferred my used old towels, I obviously wouldn’t have bothered! I then rolled my eyes at my Dad and commented - don’t worry, I’m the one doing the laundry. Cue - a rather unnecessary argument. Fgs - I’m nearly 50! Still makes me angry when I think about it. It takes a special person to criticise something nice done for them. DM is so negative in general, my eyes eventually glaze over when she drones on - it’s complaint after complaint. I really don’t think she realises how she is. Thankfully, she seems to restrain herself in front of other people. Only let’s rip with her nearest & dearest.....lucky me

Two distant French cousins of DH. Realised in august that we lived in a holiday town so made a big song and dance about coming over to ‘get to know us properly’. Made no plans or bookings (in peak tourist season) although everybody told them too.

They’ve put down roots (so much for the 3 days we insisted on getting commitment about). Seem to think they are so charming and fun that we should feel blessed to serve them hand and foot, and spend all our limited holiday time (and funds) showing them around.

Never seen such CFery in all my born days. Or so many wet towels left in random locations. Or such sulky faces if we dare to take a break or leave them to their own devices for 5 minutes. Or such raised eyebrows at the quality of every dish put before them. And each wine, snack, game and toiletry.

Passive DH has gone into hiding cos he knows I’m going to blow my top soon. Told him today that either he manages their exit, or there’ll be his suitcase alongside theirs on the porch by sunset.

Had three of my adult kids over for three days. DS was bossy and tried to tell me that I needed to move nearer the city as it would make it easier for them to care for me (I'm not even 60 yet!). DD1 was her usual quiet self, DD3 was tired and a bit snappy, but otherwise okay. XP was invited for Boxing Day tea, then fell asleep on the sofa while I served it and kids and I ate it, he woke up when it was mostly cold (no, I wasn't going to wake him up, the bad manners of it astonished me and shouldn't have, it's just one of the reasons he's an ex).

So now they've gone and I feel about a million years old (as they clearly consider me to be) and losing faculties day by day.

By god, I miss them.