Anyone else alone on Xmas eve?

[Walkingwounded]

Left an abusive relationship this year (coercive control). Family home goes with STBX’s job, so I was the one who had to leave.

Has half killed me but somehow bought house; moved into house in Sept this year: tried to make it as much as I can of a home for the kids. Have a support worker from Women,s Aid. Have come a long way.

But. Stupidly, I felt it was better for DCs to spend Xmas eve in the former ‘family home’ doing the usual routine (reading at church etc). So offered it to STBX, who has just collected them.

Kids have just gone off happy & excited. STBX usual cold & dismissive self on the doorstep. Saw my family today who are completely self absorbed. All friends busy with their own families.

Just feeling a bit shit really. Lonely. Sincerely hope no-one else is feeling this way but if so, you are not alone....

I am alone too. I went to Starbucks earlier, bought a hot chocolate and some oatmeal. And I went and treated myself to some new clothes from Primark. I’m just having dinner now, and will watch a film later… I am having a very difficult time getting through Christmas this year, but today was better than yesterday. I’m going to a community Christmas meal tomorrow, since I didn’t want to be at home on my own.

Best wishes to everyone on their own tonight. I know I'm lucky in that I'm enjoying it, but tbh am so glad to be rid of STBEX that it's worth the price.

I will be alone until about 3 pm tomorrow.
I have just put pitch perfect 3 on and also put the heating on as well ready to have a bath. I would be lying to myself if I said I was okay. I am not. I dislike this time of year.

Best wishes to everyone.

Alone until the 27th when I go back to work. Used to it
Watching designated survivor and thinking about having some nachos the cat has claimed my lap

You've done an amazing job, OP - next year is going to be so much better for you.

Hi @yummytummy - sorry to hear you're struggling. Is there anything you can do that you enjoy to treat yourself?

My husband left me 4 months ago, I've been dreading Christmas. He come over earlier to see the kids earlier and is spending the day tomorrow. I miss him so much and don't know how I'm going to get through the day, sending to everyone who is having a tough time this Christmas

Me. Sort of. :( Husband is away for 6 months. Adult DS 1 up in his room, as per. DS2 doesn't seem to give a shit; having a ball where he lives in his GF's mother's house. DS 2's last few days here as he's bought a house, and I'm going to miss him very much. All my family are in my native country far, far away. All my friends having lovely family time and I'm pretending all is grand here. It's not. It's shit. And I've been bawling my eyes out a day. Ho ho ho.

I'm sorry this happend to you OP. I'm alone this xmas eve, DC with their father as it's his turn this year and DP working till 8pm and then going out for a pint with his work friends so probably wont be home until 11. I'm just sat on my tod with snacks and watching tv. Not in the mood to anything remotely christmassy.

I'm not alone tonight, though all our elaborate Christmas plans are on hold as DD has suddenly started with D&V

But, you aren't alone either OP. You have people on here to chat with Billions of people don't celebrate Christmas and for them tomorrow is just a Wednesday.

Thanks again to you all.

Sending love to all those also alone. We are quite a community 😀

So far I have:
Prepared DCs stockings for tomorrow when they come back to me in the afternoon
Printed out Santa footprints for the hall
Thought non-festive thoughts about STBX ( opposite of peace & goodwill sadly)

Now am going to pour a glass of wine & look at what’s on Netflix.

Well done Op. well done for leaving him. Think of what a fabulous future you’re going to give your kids away from abuse and worry. Pour a glass of wine, curl up, enjoy your lovely sleep

If you are off for a few more days I would give it 24hrs or so before you do stockings etc. Christmas is overwhelming for children at the best of times let alone when you have the conflicting emotions of being away from the primary care giver and back with dad in the family home. It always used to take Dd a few hours to readjust when she was smaller and sometimes she would act out if her emotions were too big for her to communicate which might ruin the day.

Ah that is a really good point HP. DCs are 13 and 12 - but this is the first ‘ separate’ Xmas.

Will think about how to play it.

Wish you all a very peaceful Christmas and renewed hope and strength
for the new year. Well done for getting this far OP. Sod the rest.


Christmas is a huge money making scheme. All this advertisement whipping people up into this frenzy of buying stuff, doing stuff, being together etc...
@TheChosenTwo - that is so true. I was doing some last minute shopping this morning and all around me I just heard people speaking with real tension in their voices about what they still had to do, how much drink they had in, who they had to fit in to visit. Then a woman near me said to her friend: everyone looks so miserabel don;t they. I looked aorund and everyone was heads down, grinding on. Such a shame. Much better to run a big bubble bath, brew a massive cup of tea and soak with a good book, then daydream of what you want to do next year. That's my idea of heaven. Stress free.

Just wanted to say Merry Christmas OP :) you have come such a long way! I hope you had a lovely evening x

@Walkingwounded and the rest of the solo crowd

Happy Christmas...

I will be lurking here if anyone wants to chat.

Who's for a cup of tea ?

I’m here with a steaming mug of coffee. I am sweaty, muddy and happy, done the park run!

Happy Christmas everyone! I hauled myself out of bed for a 7am hot yoga class and am home with a cinnamon swirl and some coffee getting ready to make a very small roast pork belly for lunch. It's been a brutal year which much loss, but weirdly I feel pretty good. Nice clear weather doesn't hurt. Sending you all wishes.

Where is open for yoga today?! I’d have loved a class yesterday and wouldn’t mind one today or tomorrow.