Do you spend the same on your adult children as their ohs at Christmas?

[VanessaShanessaJenkins]

I'm not talking about someone in a new relationship but if you have son in laws/daughter in laws which have been married to your son/ daughter for over 10 years do you spend the same on them as your own children or significantly less?

We’ve always gotten joint presents. MIL gives us a hamper. My family just gives cash (they don’t live in the UK and shipping anything is expensive). Both totally fine. Neither of us have any need for individual gifts. We have enough stuff. It’s the thought that counts.

I think it’s totally fine to spent more on your own adult children but not within a couple. So if you have a single dd, for example, spend whatever you wagon her, but if you have a dd and a son in law married to each other, it’s a bit rude to get her partner a vastly cheaper gift.

*want, not wagon

I don’t plan to spend the same when the time comes, I’d buy a token gift but would certainly spend more on the children.

I have a weird one....Every year, mil spends significantly more on me than she does on her ds. So my family go out of their way to get dh really good presents to make up for the ones he gets from his mum

I buy a joint 'main' present and then smaller things for each of them . I probably do spend more on DD, because there's usually stuff I know she'd like, whereas her DH is hard to buy for.

My MIL used to spend about half as much in me as DH, but then BIL remarried and now we all get the same amount. MIL does not like me, but presumably drew the line at giving DH, BIL and new SIL one amount and me half!

Gifts (actual things) would be of simiiar value (sometimes more for one or other of us) or joint/shareable.

But for some landmark occasions they have also given a cheque, which is definitely presented for their own descendant only.

Like @Blingysolightly my parents spend a lot more on DH than on me (their reason being I have had 30+ more years of presents from them than him). My PILs spend the same amount on both of us.

My husband and I get similar priced gifts from my parents and from his parents. But we are a low budget family so the presents in question are £20-30.

My PILs spend the same on me as they do on DH, and a bit more on DD. My parents do the same. But we did meet when we were 16y so have been in one another's lives for 30 years or so and are fairly close as a family. Not sure when this started but for as long as I can remember, certainly all the time we've been married.

I spend more on my own adult children than I do on their partners. I usually buy them a joint biggish present though.

We buy a joint present, then a box of chocolates each for the partners ( male) and then more generous and personalised presents for the DDs.

I'm one of 5 and my parents spend £100 on each of us plus partners. Some of us are married, some long term partners and one in a 2 year relationship but we're all treated equally. The grandkids get more but theres only 2 of them!

My in-laws do the same, £100 on each of us but he's an only child.

My PILs don’t buy me anything. My family spend about the same.

I spend the same on each one of them.
My son's wives get the same amount spent on them as my son's do, and my daughters partners get the same amount as my daughters.

My PILs usually get me and DH a joint present and then they spend the same on their DD. A couple of times if we haven’t had a joint present they spend very close to the same. My DDad gives me and DH money but would spend more on my DS’s and DB but not massively

We do, however our parents don't but we just split the cheques.

We get joint presents - usually things to do together like a restaurant voucher.

MIL gives DH and I a card each containing the same amount. Ahem and transfers another couple of grand to DH on the sly. My mother gives me £100 and DH £25.

MIL spends way more on DH than me but I’m ok with that (Christmas has always been a big deal for him because his dad died three days before Christmas when he was six and so Christmases were always big gifts for DH). I’m especially ok about it this year because she’s bought him a games console and all the trimmings and we’ll be playing it together every night of the winter!

My mum spends a bit more on me than DH (say £20) but my lot do cheaper presents generally.

To be honest, I don’t mind either way because DH and I are quite frugal in what we spend on each other so I love seeing him get great stuff.

Mine is only just married but they've been together for 10 years.
I got her a token gift for first couple of years and now I do 60/40 or 70/30 depending on what they need/want.
They are having less this year as have a child now so more on the gd, then ds, then dil.

DS27 used to get £100 for Xmas so now I give DS and DIL £50 each. When they have children I’ll stop giving it to them and spend it on the children. DS23 gets £100.

I’ve never given a moments thought as to whether my mum or my in-laws spend the same on us. I’m grateful for any gifts tbh.

My MIL spends £150 on DP and £40 on me.

My parents give me and my sister, our OH's, the Grandchildren and the Great Grandchildren £50 each.

DP and I have been together seven years and have two children. MIL spends £100 each on the two DC.

I don't know if MIL doesn't like me very much, if she doesn't see me as a long term partner or if I'd get more if we were married! My parents believe in being fair to all.

My parents and in laws both spend a similar amount on each of us (or even a bit more for the non related one)