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Original poster

I've lost something very valuable - how do I tell my mum?

31 replies

Nic165 · 22/12/2019 13:52

I've lost my late granny's ring. The one she gave to me before she passed, and the one my mother had always wanted. I've now realised I've lost it. I've moved house a couple of times in between last having it and it must have been lost somewhere along the way. I don't know what to do. I can't sleep thinking about how my mother is going to react and it's giving me such anxiety. I feel terrible about losing it, especially the fact it meant so much to my mother too. She has been asking why I haven't been wearing it and said she would like it if I am not going to wear it often. She said it means a lot to her and she would wear it more. What do I do?

OP posts:
BillHadersNewWife · 22/12/2019 13:54

Have you really, really looked for it? I mean gone room to room and opened every box, bag and drawer and gone through properly? If you have then just tell her.

It's only an object. She might be emotional about it but you can't undo what's been done.

JollyAndBright · 22/12/2019 14:02

If you aren’t sure you lost it could it have be stolen?

Either way I would claim for it on my insurance and have a replica made and not tell my mum.

Spitsandspots · 22/12/2019 14:20

She has been asking why I haven't been wearing it and said she would like it if I am not going to wear it often

Is it possible she already has it and is waiting to say that, being as you hadn’t even noticed it gone, she should keep it?

Clawdy · 22/12/2019 14:34

Hope OP's mum wouldn't be as mean as that! Perhaps another big search as someone else said.

Roselilly36 · 22/12/2019 14:43

You poor thing, can you remember the last time you wore the ring? Do you put your jewellery in the same place? Could it be at the back of a drawer or underneath some furniture? Have another really good look. I hope you find it.

Deecaff · 22/12/2019 14:45

Is it very unique? Could it be replaced through Ebay?

TheWoodsareDarkandDeep · 22/12/2019 14:52

This drives me crazy, my mum says the same about my grandmothers engagement ring that was left to me, that I should give it to her because I don’t wear it. It was left to you and it’s up to you how much you wear it, presumably your mum was left other stuff.

itshappened · 22/12/2019 14:52

Could you not just say it means a lot to you too, so you only wear it on special occasions and keep it locked away safely the rest of the time? If your granny gave it to you and not your mum, then really your mum shouldn't be asking to have it. But in the meantime have a really good look for it, as you may still have it.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 22/12/2019 14:54

Are you 100% sure it's lost?

Any chance your mum has it?

bionicnemonic · 22/12/2019 15:00

I expect you’ve put it somewhere safe but not a usual safe place and you have forgotten.
My ex had something similar happen. We had moved house and tried to find it. Not even sure if it had moved with us or stayed at PIL house. Eventually, after research about who could be suitable, he went to see a hypnotist. He tapped into his subconscious, worked out which house it was in, the fact it was in a (stuffed!) loft and the hypnotist said to picture a ribbon hanging down from it, so we knew where in the loft to look. We brought a couple of boxes down, and there it was! Great relief. Good luck OP

cakeandchampagne · 22/12/2019 15:13

The ring was given to you. It belongs to you. You don’t have to share it with anyone, and it isn’t her business where it is.

Just tell her you intend to only wear it occasionally.

If she has taken it or found it and is playing a game, she is very unkind.

Keep an eye out for it- you may have just forgotten where you put it or it may be in your things somewhere.

Original poster
Nic165 · 22/12/2019 16:09

I've looked absolutely everywhere. Literally searched every single room in the house, every box, drawer, or weird place it could be, and nothing 😣 I think she suspects I have lost it as she never asked about it before and suddenly over the past week or so she has asked about it every time she's seen me. I think she's just pushing me to admit I can't find it. I'm going to just have to come clean. But I'm going to try wait until at least after xmas day as I spend Xmas at hers with the kids and I can't bear the thought of her reaction and potential to make Xmas really awkward

OP posts:
misspiggy19 · 22/12/2019 16:12

The ring was given to you. It belongs to you. You don’t have to share it with anyone, and it isn’t her business where it is.

^Wow, glad I am not as cold hearted as you.

TeenPlusTwenties · 22/12/2019 16:15

I lost my late Granny's ring. I was devastated. I found in the next day in a giant plastic crate full of duplo - it had come off my finger whilst tidying.
Any chance yours is somewhere similar?

cantfindname · 22/12/2019 16:42

I lost my late Granny's ring. I was devastated. I found in the next day in a giant plastic crate full of duplo - it had come off my finger whilst tidying.
Any chance yours is somewhere similar?

Similar story here. My ring turned up in the rubber gaiter of the car handbrake a couple of weeks later. Sheer luck I found it.

helpfulperson · 22/12/2019 16:58

You mentioned you haven't seen it for a number of house moves. Could you have given it to your mum for safekeeping and forgotten. In a similar situation to you I found it in the safe at my parents house with some of my other jewellery.

Original poster
Nic165 · 22/12/2019 17:08

All good suggestions thank you - I have checked through all the kids' toys, had checked my car the other day. No luck with either. I'm afraid I may have forgotten it or it was lost in one of the other houses I used to stay in. I do recall having it when I went abroad a couple years ago. And fear I may have been left behind at the hotel. Honestly I feel like it could be anywhere in the world right now! Do you think I should tell my mum face to face? I'm considering a letter, but that's probably the coward's way out

OP posts:
Inittowinit2020 · 22/12/2019 17:11

Get a replica.

Kittykat93 · 22/12/2019 17:14

With the greatest respect, it's a ring. It's sentimental yes and valuable but it's not the end of the world. I lost my mums ring, it meant a lot to me. But it was nothing compared to losing her and I have so many memories to remember her by I don't need a piece of jewellery.

Just tell your mum op and stop beating yourself up.

pumpandthump · 22/12/2019 17:17

Don't tell her.

fussychica · 22/12/2019 17:41

If you wore gloves last winter which you haven't worn this it could be inside. My ring always feels quite loose when it's cold and I always check my hand as I take my glove off as I'm terrified I might loose it this way.

Taking off precious jewellery is always a risk especially if you don't have a dedicated storage place.

I still think it's likely to be somewhere in your home. Surely you would have realised you'd lost it on holiday before now as that was a couple of years ago.

BrokenWing · 22/12/2019 17:49

My mum lost her wedding ring around 2 months after my dad died.

She has in the loo a tower of 3 spare toilet rolls, obviously didn't get to the bottom of the tower very often as 3 years later she used the last roll and the ring must have been sitting inside it all this time!

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 22/12/2019 17:51

Why does your mum want it if it was given to you? Surely your mum won't want you to be upset over this? It might well turn up,it's not been unknown to suddenly stumble across something you swore was lost x

Ineedaweeinpeace · 22/12/2019 17:54

check all the handbags I always always find a Million bloody things in handbags and luggage x

Ineedaweeinpeace · 22/12/2019 17:54

Oh and also like wash bags from weekends away etc x

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