How many people do you know that you can honestly 100% trust?

[Littlemiss74]

I have one long standing friend of over 20 years. She lives 200 miles from me and we see each other around once a year but message each other all the time. She is the only person that I know who I would consider to be a true, genuine, trustworthy friend.

Since my ds started school I have made friends with a small group of mums and we have socialised together many times. We share a lot of information, usually under the influence of several vinos, but I don’t feel that they are entirely trustworthy. Around here everybody knows everybody and there is a lot of gossip. I feel like I can’t really trust these other mums and yet the way they act is as if we’re all super close and trustworthy. I know this not to be the case.

The long & short of it is that I feel very alone -and just wondered if it is normal at the age of 45 to feel non trusting of anyone and reluctant to make friends with any more ‘school friends’. Why can’t I find a friend that I can trust and be open & honest with?

No one

DH

just mum, dad and brother.

Mum.

I agree with a PP, what do you want to ‘trust’ people with exactly? I have a fabulous, wide circle of friends that I am very close to ... but what do you mean when you say ‘trust someone’?

6 people. 5 family, 1 friend.

100% trust - one only - and that's ME.

95% my sister and 1 long term friend. BUT they both occasionally think they know what's best for me and would act accordingly. They would never deliberately betray my trust though.

90% My son and daughter, again, wouldn't deliberately betray my trust but may say something to their father without thinking (30+ years apart so no big deal) or again, think they know better than me what my needs are.

A couple of other friends 80%, wouldn't deliberately betray but have different values about some things so we don't agree about one or two important things.

Other than that I generally try to trust people will fulfil obligations but wouldn't necessarily trust them with any personal information.

What I meant was trust friends with worries or problems, everyday stuff like parenting, money or relationship challenges. When I meet up with other mums from school other people’s problems/issues are often discussed which just makes me wonder.

DP is my no.1, he always has my back and would never reveal anything that I told him in confidence. I'm lucky enough to have two living parents to confide in also, and a close friend who is reliable and not a gossip. Oh and my dog, she's great.

I thought I had a friend I could call on for anything.
I went through a very bad patch a earlier this year (poor mh resulting in suicide attempt) and reached out for some help (literally the ONLY time I've ever asked anyone for help) and was told via my husband that I was expecting too much from the friendship.
We don't speak much anymore.

I am not sure as trust with what

No one is beyond acting in a completely selfish manner that part of being human and at times we can appear to be acting selfishly because something is going on for us others are not aware of

I trust my sister and a few friends more than anyone else but they might let me down as they are not perfect (I hope they trust me too I’m sure they do)

My mum, dad , sister
2 best friends
Aunts x2
Uncle
In laws
Nan

Wow I'm very lucky

My sister, my husband and my parents.

I have close friends, who I discuss surface level things with, but nothing to deep. Have had my fingers burnt in the past and it's a horrible feeling.

My Dad and I!

My dog. Not the cats they are sneaky sods.

1 - my sister.

My parents, my husband and kids.

You’re confusing random drinking buddies from your child’s class parent list with actual friends.

No one 100% but quite a few people with various things.

I have two friends who I would trust with deepest darkest secrets for example (in fact one of them does know my biggest secret and hasn't breathed a word of it to anyone for 8 years), but I couldn't trust either of them to be somewhere on time, or to help me move house (both have bad backs and poor time keeping)

I trust dp with ds, and I trust him to keep fidelity, to do lots of very important things in fact but I can't trust him to do the laundry properly.

My dm I can trust to always have my best interests at heart but I can't always trust that she'll go about it in an appropriate way.

My df I can trust to not grass me up if I've made a mistake but I can't trust him with ds alone as he doesn't pay enough attention to dangers (because he's usually stoned). I can trust him to entertain ds for hours while I crack on with things though as they get on like a house on fire.

People I trust with relationship worries - one, one of my best friends

Money worries - also one, dp

Parenting - two, my mum and dp

Certainly don't trust any of the school gate mum's with anything like that. Conversation with them is more likely to involve what day homework is due in and when parents evening is, or arranging for the kids to meet up after school

DH and parents

Loads - if I asked them for support or advice or just to listen in confidence but I wouldn't put my concerns and worries on to people generally - it's not their responsibility.

If you are saying how many people could I go to, and ask them not to share anything I told them, then offloaded something personal, then, yes, I have a lot of people I could do that with.

No-one

I trust my partner, i would like to think 100% but i find it hard to trust someone 100%

This would really upset him though

A friend of mine who I never see much but the understanding is there. Told them things that make me KNOW they are silent as the grave.

A close female friend, who I would confide in more if her DH would ever fuck off and let us chat in peace.

A girl I've only known 2 years that I work with but just one of those people you know wont sell you out. I am actually closer to another colleague but she would absolutely turnface on a confidence if she thought she'd get brownie points.

People I absolutely can't trust :

My Mum : Can keep her own counsel. Would tell anyone about so much as the opening of a bag of crisps if its someone else's life. Zero respect for other people's private lives.

One of my sisters : Absolute snake

Former best friend : Promised me in the event of X she would never do Y. Promptly fell over herself to do Y when X occurred. Like being stabbed in the face rather than in the back.

Ironic, that it's the wrong way around. 🤔

No, I don’t have friends whom I trust.
I do trust my DH but not to my parents and relatives. I know you asked about different level of trust but it’s just to get a wider picture.