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Original poster

Did something stupid

72 replies

Mommyisamonster · 21/12/2019 08:01

Works Christmas do yesterday. Realised I’d gotten a bit tipsy. Tried to arrange for alternative childcare but nobody was available. Stopped drinking and had to get in a taxi to pick up my kids from nursery. Nursery manager asked if i’d Been drinking. I was honest and said i’d Been at my work do and had tried to arrange alternative childcare and obviously wouldn’t be driving with the children. I’m absolutely mortified and scared that I’m going to look like an unfit mother! Never done anything like that before and so embarrassed at myself!

OP posts:
PurpleCrazyHorse · 21/12/2019 09:36

Not great to be honest, personally if I didn't have alternative childcare arranged I wouldn't have been drinking, either at all or would have been cautious about the amount especially if people kept topping me up. Were you at home alone with the kids after pick up?

However what's done is done. Lesson learned?

PoptartPoptart · 21/12/2019 09:43

You tried to arrange alternative childcare but you couldn’t, so you stopped drinking, had the sense not to drive and jumped in a taxi to pick your kids up. I don’t see the problem.
If it was a regular occurrence then maybe a cause for concern but it was your work Christmas party.
Don’t stress, you sound like a good mum and the fact you’re worried about it proves that too.
Merry Christmas!

RhymingRabbit3 · 21/12/2019 09:44

You probably should have got childcare arranged in advance rather than trying to do it once you were already tipsy.
Nursery won't be too concerned as long as they don't see this happening regularly, so just make sure it doesnt happen again.

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EggysMom · 21/12/2019 09:46

It's done, it's happened. You can't go back in time, so don't fret. Just use it is as a learning experience for next time - either pre-arrange childcare, or don't drink.

HPandTheNeverEndingBedtime · 21/12/2019 09:50

Providing you were only tipsy and not slurring your words etc, she could probably smell the alcohol on you and just wanted to check you were not driving home.

I wouldn't worry about a one off at christmas with a reasonable explanation. However, you shouldn't have drunk or only had one if you didn't have solid childcare in place it would have been a bit different if your childcare had fallen through but it doesn't sound like you had arranged any before the works do, but we all make mistakes. Chalk it up to experience and get on with your weekend.

Original poster
Mommyisamonster · 21/12/2019 10:34

Definitely a lesson learned. I feel absolutely terrible. I felt ok until the air hit me and then I sorted a taxi straight away. Most certainly won’t be doing that again!

OP posts:
Newbie1981 · 21/12/2019 11:58

You are allowed to drink and look after your kids you know! You were not slaughtered, you were tipsy and it's not a habit so fuck it!

Original poster
Mommyisamonster · 21/12/2019 16:38

Thank you so much for your kind replies. I’ve been beating myself up all day and reading these has given me some perspective.

OP posts:
Hilda44 · 21/12/2019 16:40

I would guess she was worried you were driving. Don't worry about it as a one off.

YappityYapYap · 21/12/2019 17:06

Was someone meant to be looking after the kids while you went to the do, they cancelled, you tried to arrange something else but couldn't so went and collected them? Don't see anything wrong with that

Anotherusefulname · 21/12/2019 17:09

Ok, so I work in a school if a parent turned up for collection having had a drink it would 100% be passed on to our designated safeguarding lead, and recorded on our safeguarding software. We have a legal duty of care regarding safeguarding.
The DSL would then speak to the parent and offer advice (and in our school invite to parenting classes -which is nothing personal just what we do with all safeguarding not many people take it up). She then checks the software for any other recordings about the family and if it meets threshold for referral she would refer.
A one off would most likely not result in referral if they have any other concerns regarding your family this can be unexplained injuries, consistent lateness to collect, regular dirty unwashed children or clothes, behavioural signs of neglect then it might be.
It is drummed into staff that we have a duty of care for safeguarding, it is always better that someone innocent is investigated than someone guilty is ignored.

StealthMama · 21/12/2019 17:20

nothing wrong with this at all. nursery did right to ask but nothing to feel bad about. You're allowed to have a drink and be in charge of your own children, just as you might at home.

I thought you were gong to say you drove!

CloseEncountersOfTheTerfKind · 21/12/2019 17:25

How much did you drink?

Moltenpink · 21/12/2019 17:27

Eh? I’ve turned up a bit merry to pick up once or twice over the years, why is it a safeguarding issue?

user32564567 · 21/12/2019 17:32

If it's a one off over Christmas the school should butt out.

Original poster
Mommyisamonster · 21/12/2019 17:34

I had 4 single drinks in 5 hours. Wasn’t on the shots or anything like that!

OP posts:
CloseEncountersOfTheTerfKind · 21/12/2019 17:37

One person's "merry" or "tipsy" is another persons "pissed", that's why. These words are euphemisms for drunk. You're just saying you're slightly drunk instead of drunk.

Turning up drunk, even slightly drunk, but drunk to the point it's noticeable, to collect your children should be picked up on.

CloseEncountersOfTheTerfKind · 21/12/2019 17:39

People saying it shouldn't be commented on as it's a "one off" well how do they know if it's a one off? Especially with different staff members doing hand overs. If people are saying it shouldn't be commented on if it's a one off, then surely the nursery would need to make a note of when they see it, so they know if there is a pattern or not?

The main concern is the safety of the children, not hurting the feelings of the parents

Original poster
Mommyisamonster · 21/12/2019 17:41

I agree CloseEncounters. It was an error of judgment and the first and last time this will happen. I’m mortified over it and could kick myself.

OP posts:
Anotherusefulname · 21/12/2019 17:41

It would be recorded as a safeguarding concern because while for most people a one off is a one off, and yes the vast majority of parents have a drink when their children are in the house. A pattern starts somewhere and in most neglect/abuse cases it is a hundred tiny pieces that add up to the truth.
Nobody is begrudging anybody a Christmas drink but we have a legal duty to keep children safe, and part of that is making sure we don't let anything slip by.
Everybody is outraged when abuse is missed and children suffer or worse, the only way to avoid that is strict recording of all concerns no matter how minor they appear.
I have already stated a one off would most likely be recorded and not referred but coming to collect a child with alcohol on your breath let alone noticeably tipsy needs to be recorded any school or nursery staff member who didn't pass this on would be failing in there duty of care despite the fact we know most likely out come is just it being on record.

CherryPlum · 21/12/2019 17:44

Good grief you've done nothing wrong, please don't worry about it. You sound like a perfectly normal, sensible person, this was a one-off Christmas drink and no harm done.

CloseEncountersOfTheTerfKind · 21/12/2019 17:46

Mommy I wasn't having a dig at you I promise, it's more than "oh it's a one off, oh it's this time of year" attitudes that can be dangerous.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 21/12/2019 17:50

Ok, so I work in a school if a parent turned up for collection having had a drink it would 100% be passed on to our designated safeguarding lead, and recorded on our safeguarding software

Really? At Christmas, when you know people will be having a few drinks at the office party? The OP clearly explained that she was in a taxi so unless she was incapable of looking after her child or falling all over the place then really, Op was actually being quite responsible. She did the right thing arranging a taxi.

FOr all nursery/school staff know, they are going straight home where the child’s other parent will be arriving within half an hour.

I honestly can’t see the problem with a parent being a bit tipsy at Christmas and arranging a taxi instead of driving.

I take it that all those parents raising eyebrows or crying safeguarding intend to drink only soft drinks on Christmas Day while around their children?

mummyduckduck · 21/12/2019 17:50

If she had concerns she wouldn't have let the children leave with you.

If she let you take the children home then she must have thought it was all ok.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 21/12/2019 17:56

Yes I think she asked if you’d been drinking because she wanted to make sure you wouldnt be driving.

Don’t worry, OP. You sound like a lovely, caring and responsible parent.