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Original poster

Did something stupid

72 replies

Mommyisamonster · 21/12/2019 08:01

Works Christmas do yesterday. Realised I’d gotten a bit tipsy. Tried to arrange for alternative childcare but nobody was available. Stopped drinking and had to get in a taxi to pick up my kids from nursery. Nursery manager asked if i’d Been drinking. I was honest and said i’d Been at my work do and had tried to arrange alternative childcare and obviously wouldn’t be driving with the children. I’m absolutely mortified and scared that I’m going to look like an unfit mother! Never done anything like that before and so embarrassed at myself!

OP posts:
Anotherusefulname · 21/12/2019 17:59

I'm going to bow out of this now.
I've explained safeguarding procedure, I've explained it will be a record not refer if it is a one off- meaning that the OP won't here anymore about it.
There are hundreds of things recorded for safeguarding at every school every week, I'm sure that there are records kept about my own children. Things that you wouldn't even think of, yes it feels over the top, yes it feels judgemental and invasive but if it prevents one child suffering then I'm ok with that and think most other people would be too.

Lulualla · 21/12/2019 18:01

4 drinks over 5 hours and the nursery still knew you'd been drinking? And were worried enough to ask you outright? How bad were you honestly, because that sounds like more than 4 drinks over 5 hours.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 21/12/2019 18:02

I always think in these situations what would happen if a police officer was standing by watching this scene, would they question the OP once hearing that OP was not drink driving? And so not putting her children at risk? (Assuming that Op was actually quite capable of looking after her children and not going to collapse on the sofa in a stupor ignoring them when they got home, not bothering to cook their evening meal, not able to bath them etc etc)

I very much doubt that a police officer would view that as a safeguarding risk and I doubt that a social worker would too. Again, I am making the assumption that Op was behaving normally and looking after her children normally too.

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Original poster
Mommyisamonster · 21/12/2019 18:06

I definitely didn’t collapse into a stupor! I gave the kids a snack and we watched a film in bed.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mommyisamonster · 21/12/2019 18:10

Lulualla The last 2 were in quite quick succession as I bought one for myself and then was bought one at the same time by a colleague.

OP posts:
CurlyhairedAssassin · 21/12/2019 18:11

Anotherusefulname: I don’t actually feel that a school WOULD record this as a safeguarding issue. If Schools and nurseries see the same person at hand over all the time they very quickly come to realise what is the norm for the person collecting. I doubt that a responsible parent whose regular behaviour they know well saying they were taking a taxi home instead of driving like usual because they realised they would be over the limit to drive after attending their office xmas party would be flagged up as a worry. If OP turned up like that a couple of days later then that is when it would flag up as an issue.

Perhaps if there are a lot of different staff handing over each time, or the OP hardly ever picks up and when she does she is drunk, THEN it would be worth recording.

Staff at my kids old school and nursery knew the parents extremely well. If I had turned up a bit red faced and a bit giggly and said “whoops had to get a taxi from the office party as my manager didn’t realise I was picking the kids up” I very much doubt they would have done a thing, as they knew me well and that it would be a one off, at Christmas time.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 21/12/2019 18:17

Interested to know if those saying “flag it up” would also do that if a parent turned up obviously ill and barely functioning? I’ve had to pick up feel dreadful before, driving there and back. Virus, banging headache, dizzy. worse than if I was a bit tipsy. Got home, threw some nuggets at the kids whilw they watched telly (while probably needing a bath instead) then lay on the sofa dozing waiting for DH to come home.

How is that different?

Kittykat93 · 21/12/2019 18:28

Oh op I wouldn't worry about it. Yes a bit embarrassing and not ideal but you didn't drive, so how is it any different to having a few glasses of wine at home when the kids are there? I don't hunk it's a huge deal

NerrSnerr · 21/12/2019 18:45

There are hundreds of things recorded for safeguarding at every school every week,

Hundreds of recorded safeguarding issues at every school every single week? Bloody hell the safeguarding lead must be busy then!! I assume you don't have any evidence to back up that massively over exaggerated claim?

SleepingMammoth · 21/12/2019 18:57

@nerrsnerr it might not be exaggerated - very much depends on the school context.

The previous school I worked in could easily have had 100+ safeguarding forms filled in during one week. Not all serious obviously, some just keeping records of more minor things about children/families/situations we were already aware of.
We had a Family Support team made up of 2 full time and 1 part time members of staff who dealt with the majority of it.

Current school is a very different context. I've been there over a year and can count on one hand how many safeguarding forms I've filled in.

NerrSnerr · 21/12/2019 19:07

@SleepingMammoth so it's not every single school, every single week. A big school with a huge intake maybe but not every single school.

Haggisfish · 21/12/2019 19:10

I easily send off two or three safeguarding concerns in a large secondary per week. Multiply that by the sixty odd staff-definitely a LOT of safeguarding concerns. Individually, not many of them need any action, but it’s the safeguarding leads job to look at overall picture.

JemimaPuddleCat · 21/12/2019 19:11

I felt ok until the air hit me and then I sorted a taxi straight away.

So did you have your car with you? Then when you realised you weren't ok to drive you sorted a taxi?

CottonSock · 21/12/2019 19:13

They served mulled wine at our nursery yesterday. You did nothing wrong.

Original poster
Mommyisamonster · 21/12/2019 19:27

JemimaPuddleCat Yes I had my car. I didn’t go with the intention of over indulging. I went out to chat with colleagues who were having a quick smoke before they left to say goodbye. I’d been sat down and realised when I walked out that I’d gone a bit overboard and needed a taxi. I stopped drinking and booked a taxi.

OP posts:
CurlyhairedAssassin · 21/12/2019 19:57

They served mulled wine at our nursery yesterday.

Yep, they have served beer and wine at every junior school summer fair we’ve been to. A lovely warm summer’s night raising money for the school, watching your kids playing with their friends in the school football tournament, throwing a coconut or wet sponge at Mr Davis, having a couple of glasses of wine and a burger while chatting to the other parents. Lovely! I would hope that no-one was keeping a record of how many cups of wine the parents bought!

CurlyhairedAssassin · 21/12/2019 20:00

Still trying to imagine what would be written on a safeguarding form for OP: “Mum turned up for pick up smelling of alcohol. She said she’d been to her office Christmas party, realised she had too much to drive so left her car at work and got a taxi to pick X up.” Confused

Alb1 · 21/12/2019 20:07

It was my DDs nursery Christmas party yesterday for the kids, but parents had to attend too so refreshments were included, including Prosecco which plenty of parents had a glass or two of, and that was provided by the nursery at a child’s party so I can’t see your child’s nursery thinking your a monster. I find it more worrying that only decided to phone a taxi after the 4th drink, it’s obvious after the first or second that you shouldn’t have been driving. Not suggesting you would have drank and driven as you phoned a taxi, but It’s not really something that takes 4 drinks to think about, Christmas or not

Daisymay93 · 21/12/2019 20:09

@CurlyhairedAssassin the nursery had every right to question her about it. Just because it's Xmas doesn't mean it's ok to turn up tipsy/drunk it's their job to check that the children are safe. Yes people drink around there kids and it's normally ok but how do the nursery know if it's a one off or if it's a serious problem. Believe it or not there are a lot of alcoholics with children out there that out there kids in danger it's a very serious thing and schools and nursery should always be looking out for it

Daisymay93 · 21/12/2019 20:10

That put their kids in danger **

Original poster
Mommyisamonster · 21/12/2019 20:10

Alb1 I was considering the taxi anyway but after going outside it was absolutely confirmed in my mind.

OP posts:
CurlyhairedAssassin · 21/12/2019 20:15

Incidentally, I am safeguarding trained myself as work in a secondary school. I understand the need to ask parents for clarification sometimes/record concerns. DS 2 probably had something recorded against him, as when he was in year 4, he and another boy unwittingly upset a girl at their table by whispering to each other “who would you like to have sex with?”

The safeguarding lead (deputy head) asked me to have a word with him after school. I was obviously horrified when I found out that the girl had been upset by this and reprimanded DS very strongly (made him cry). But it was very easily explained away. Ds1 (then year 6) had been doing sex and relationship education in the previous 2 weeks and had unbeknown to me been talking about it to DS2. DS2 is very young for his age and actually quite disgusted by the idea of sex. He hadn’t got a clue what it all meant at the time, he just knew that it was a bit grown up and “naughty” and I suppose was trying to appear grown up to the others on his table. Same for his friend.

I guess it was all recorded by the DSL as it might have indicated inappropriate knowledge of sex. I did actually say to him that if they were going to teach kids about sex in year 6 then they had to expect that they would be speaking to younger siblings about it and prepare themselves for some inappropriate conversations amongst the younger ones. He was fine with this. He could see from my reaction that there was no issue, and could see that DS2 was very upset at realising he had done something inappropriate and upsetting. I’m sure it still stayed on record though. I’m fine with that also.

teentree · 21/12/2019 20:19

Eh? You had 4 drinks and you were only considering a taxi!

Thank fuck you went outside and realised you were drunk.

I'm stunned that you could think it ok to have 4 drinks then go to pick your DC up from nursery.

teentree · 21/12/2019 20:21

EDIT

I'm stunned that you could think it ok to have 4 drinks then drive to pick your DC up from nursery.

Spied · 21/12/2019 20:23

I think it it'll be recorded as safeguarding issue.
It will have to be.
What if staff were to notice further issues and the first instance hadn't been recorded?
What if something had happened at/en route home. An accident ( or anything) and authorities ask to speak to the nursery about the last time they saw the family?
It's all recorded as it has to be.