A child having a double barrelled surname?

[Febee23]

Is there any NEGATIVES to a child having a Double barrelled surname when parents aren’t together.

I wonder (silently, so not to be a bad mother) what will happen when little Tiddles Smith-Jones meets, falls in love with and marries little Offspring Evans-Taylor.

Probably the same as what happens in Spanish-speaking countries - take one name from each, or just not bother?

It‘a a bit dated, it was a big trend amongst ‘progressive’ types when I was a child. The equivalent of making up a new name when you get married today. But on the other hand I think it sounds really nice most of the time. I’ve only ever seen it done by people with two really common names e.g. Jones-Hardy, O’Sullivan-Brown so it essentially makes boring names less boring. I think it would be a bit incongruous if one name was boring and one interesting. Could also be an issue if names are too long.

BertrandRussell

Why on earth would they?

Well, they might not.
I'm hoping that they'll think of something sensible.

But since elder DD wanted to carry on her last name and felt it important to link it with her husband's name, it's quite possible that a future in-law would feel proud of their (double-barrelled/hyphenated/whatever) last name.

And want to link Sprog Smith-Jones-Evans-Taylor-Davies-Carpenter...

So maybe a new name might be best.

Ours have both our names. They are 50% from each of us. Yes it is more complicated than having just one, but they can choose whatever they want when they grow up.

It’s not hard to work out that they would simply pick a combination or just one name that they like and use that. 🙄

Sorry - just spotted that.
With the rolling eyes and everything.

Isn't it lucky they just had one surname each?
Because a combination of multiple surnames could get silly

“ It‘a a bit dated, it was a big trend amongst ‘progressive’ types when I was a child.“
So what happens now? Have the progressive types seen the error of their ways and gone back to giving their kids their dad’s name like normal people?

@Bertrand read on, they now make up a new name when they get married/have a child. Often a combination of the two surnames but sometimes something completely new.

I put my surname as the middle name and my husband's name as the surname. It's seemed a happy medium as I didn't want to saddle my boys with a double barrelled name. I'm lucky in that my surname is a common boys name.

So what happens now? Have the progressive types seen the error of their ways and gone back to giving their kids their dad’s name like normal people?

There has to be a better way than just going down the paternal line.
And I think you know that.

However, it's going to be tricky to sort out what children are called and there probably needs to be some legislation so people can be tracked back to their birth name.

Otherwise there'll be people using the father's last name; people hyphenating last names because of a) equality b) fondness of their name c) pseudo-poshness; or just random names eg Smith/Jones put together like "Smones" or "Jith", or just... well, it sounds nice.

I wanted to double barrell my DCs names on divorce as I reverted to my maiden name, ex said he would at first then became an arsehole about it. I haven't pursued it because I may remarry so may not end up with same name anyway and DCs and my maiden name don't really go together well.

I'd rather they had my name as I am the primary carer, not dad so I don't see why DCs should have to have the dads name. But ex will never agree to that.

Double barrelled here, no hyphen, mine first. Thank fuck I live in Spain where this nonsense just does not happen. Divorce? Name stays the same. Remarry? Name stays the same.

My surname is hyphenated (and has been for several generations back). The thing I hated most was that people would call me by just part of my name. So instead of, for example, Oak Alder-Thorn I would be called Oak Thorn. It really bugged me. No idea why it bothered me so much in retrospect - and curiously I was far less bothered when I was referred to as Oak Alder...

I am now the equivalent of "Oak Smith" so it is no longer an issue...

You just look like a bit of a tosser

Or like the child of parent with different surnames

Agree with the reasoning of the poster of the 2nd line. First line poster, that makes you sound a bit of a tosser unsympathetic. DD was 13 when her father and I divorced. I jettisoned his name as quickly as I could, reverting to my maiden name. Then DD and I had different names, and I felt I had cut her loose somehow. She was happy to add my maiden name to the back of her name. She likes it. And it carried on the family name, as there are no male heirs. Meh. Horses for courses.

I had an old fashioned double barrelled with no hyphen maiden name and I always assumed people thought my parents were mega wealthy and felt I would be a bit of a let down to people if they knew the truth! Also got v bored explaining my names were both surnames without a hyphen in the middle. Most of the time people couldn't grasp it.

Wait until you get to 4 hyphenated names! That is fun.

“However, it's going to be tricky to sort out what children are called and there probably needs to be some legislation so people can be tracked back to their birth name.

Otherwise there'll be people using the father's last name; people hyphenating last names because of a) equality b) fondness of their name c) pseudo-poshness; or just random names eg Smith/Jones put together like "Smones" or "Jith", or just... well, it sounds nice.”

There’s nothing wrong with doing any of those things though. It seems odd to want blanket rules when children’s surnames are a very cultural thing. I know a family where all the girls have their mother’s surname and all the boys have different surnames (neither mother’s nor father’s - parents are still together). They have no difficulties themselves because their cultural heritage doesn’t place great emphasis on a shared surname as a unifying feature. Some people find it hard to see beyond the cultural traditions they were raised in.

I always find the “what will happen when two hyphenated surnames have a baby - a quadruple surname?! Eh? Eh?” thing a bit of a silly attempt at a trump card. I trust that adults in that situation would be able to work it out between them.

At my son's prep school there were 2 brothers, 2 years between them.I've changed the names, but think Smith Jones Smith Major and Smith Jones Minor

Sounds very lovely but it's a pain in the arse

Receptionists have snapped at me a few times we'll is it X or Y and I've had trouble checking him into a flight with a hyphen because that airline wouldn't allow it on their website. I've just casually dropped my name from it and going by his dads surname now, registering him at school with just his dads name and everything from now on will be

What a faff it's been!

I do personally think that kids should have their mums surnames though so the only reason I comprised on double barrel was because we were engaged and the only reason I dropped my surname off his now is because I dropped it too

My children have had my married surname added since divorce (with permission). It isn't double barrelled, their previous surname is now a middle name. Although many places including the passport office wrongly assume it is double barrelled.

My dds have double barrelled names. It hasn’t caused any problems at all. Sometimes in forms or at drs or dentists one or other has been missed off but that’s not an issue. They have both names as we are both their parents and they can use either or both

I don’t understand women who change their or their dcs name according to whoever they happen to be married to. Just keep your name.

MIL has a triple barrelled surname. And two of those names have prefixes - think Smith Von Jones Von Trapp. One of her three Christian names is hyphenated too. So altogether her full name is made up of nine words. Imagine trying to fit Sarah Elizabeth Marie-Claire Smith Von Jones Von Trapp onto a form.

She enthusiastically ditched it all for her dc - they all have short names with just the final Von Trapp. And that prefix is quite troublesome enough!

It’s very wierd, the antipathy to hyphenated names. Perhaps it’s residual inverted snobbery (the feeling that prompted the coining “double barrelled” in the first place) Perhaps it’s a resistance to moving away from patriarchal naming traditions?

I see double barrelled surnames as the norm. DT’s are 50% each of DH and I and have both our names which reflects our family backgrounds. It never entered my head to change my name when we got married. Their surname is quite long and complicated to spell (not English) but DT’s have had no problems or wish to change it. DD has already said when she gets married she will be keeping it.

Give the child mothers surname.

It used to be posh. It definitely isn't anymore.