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Feeling bad/sad that this Christmas I can't buy presents for...

33 replies

Schwibble · 17/12/2019 12:16

Our doggy day care lady
Our cattery lady, who is also a friend
Our vet to share with nurses/receptionists
My beauty therapist

We have had to rein in our Christmas spending this year as DH was made redundant a few months ago. Normally the above would get a decent chocolate hamper and/or good wine, but we simply cannot stretch to it this year and I feel so bad about it. I love to treat the people who are always so good to us and who we have a good relationship with, and am sad that this year it won't happen.

What if they are expecting something and are disappointed or offended when it doesn't happen? Sad Will it sour the good client relationship we have with them, e.g. the beauty therapist and vet?

Our cattery lady is also a friend, I've already told her there won't be a hamper this year and she was so kind, saying she doesn't expect anything anyway. She and our doggy day care lady get occasional thank you gifts through the year anyway, e.g. flowers or chocolates after holiday stays.

I guess it's not helped by being told by our doggy day care lady that one of her other clients bought her and her family a holiday Hmm

OP posts:
sleepismysuperpower1 · 17/12/2019 12:19

could you give a card, instead of a gift? if not i wouldn't worry about it, it shouldn't sourer your relationship with them x

OneTooManyBathtimes · 17/12/2019 12:19

I really wouldn't feel bad, a card would be enough. The only person who isnt family who's getting a present is the binman because hes been a star with my son, talking to him every week and it's really helped, in so many more ways than he realises.

WatchingTheMoon · 17/12/2019 12:22

I don't buy for anyone outside family and two close friends.

I wouldn't even think twice about it tbh.

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Schwibble · 17/12/2019 12:25

Just remembered another one, our electrician...

I guess we've been very generous in previous years and now the money's not there we can't be.

OP posts:
WatchingTheMoon · 17/12/2019 12:33

The spirit of Christmas is generosity and kindness. That includes being kind and generous to yourself, not having a guilt trip over not being able to buy for every person you interact with.

If you really have to, why not just bake some biscuits or something and put them in nice cellophane bags? You can make 100 sugar cookies for less than 10 pounds easily.

formerbabe · 17/12/2019 12:35

A whole hamper?! Blimey

You can buy a box of chocolates in Aldi or Lidl for £2...do that if you feel you must get something.

A hamper sounds ridiculously ostentatious anyway.

formerbabe · 17/12/2019 12:36

Just remembered another one, our electrician

Bloody hell. How often do you see him?! And I presume you pay him to do work for you.

Chill!

twinnymommy · 17/12/2019 12:39

You forgot the postman 😂

Schwibble · 17/12/2019 12:49

**Just remembered another one, our electrician

Bloody hell. How often do you see him?! And I presume you pay him to do work for you.

Chill!**

TBF we haven't seen him as much this year as the previous few years when we needed a lot of work done, and yes of course we pay him.

OP posts:
SouthWestmom · 17/12/2019 12:52

Christ would not occur to me to give the bloody vet a present. Is your dog really ill and seeing him/her regularly? (Sorry if it is).

If dh isn't working can't you sack off the doggy day care?

Plus the cattery- how often do you use it? Do they really need a present?

Definitely cull your list, sounds slightly mad (sorry!)

formerbabe · 17/12/2019 13:02

My point was you pay all these people for a service...they're not volunteers. A gift is nice but not necessary...and a gift can be a couple of quid not a whole hamper.

HoldMyLobster · 17/12/2019 15:35

Where do you live that people buy their doggy daycare providers a holiday?

formerbabe · 17/12/2019 15:42

I guess it's not helped by being told by our doggy day care lady that one of her other clients bought her and her family a holiday

You'll have to go one better then op... otherwise she's bound to hate you and gossip forever.

Perhaps you should buy her a new car or a holiday home?

What about the woman who served you ten years ago in the corner shop? She'll certainly hate you forever if you don't buy her a luxury food hamper?!

AdaColeman · 17/12/2019 15:52

I'm aghast that you don't give the binmen a Christmas box! Crown Grin

formerbabe · 17/12/2019 15:55

Forget a Christmas box, I'm getting ours a holiday flat in Tenerife. I'd feel awful if I didn't.

Littlepond · 17/12/2019 15:59

My goodness I live in another world to some people 😂 if my DH got made redundant I wouldn’t have a beauty therapist or doggy day care to buy presents for anyway!
I mean, not that I have either of those things now 😂

HoldMyLobster · 17/12/2019 16:05

I have a beauty therapist - she gives me facials, in return I build and manage her website.

For Christmas I'm getting her an SSL certificate.

TheReluctantCountess · 17/12/2019 16:07

Ha ha ha!

leccybill · 17/12/2019 16:15

This is not for real surely.

Oakmaiden · 17/12/2019 16:21

I was just thinking I haven't seen my vet for ages and ages.

Then I remembered we haven't had a pet for 10 years, which would explain it.

I can be very slow of thought occasionally...

Trewser · 17/12/2019 16:25

This can't be true.

If it is, it's tragic.

edwinbear · 17/12/2019 16:25

You buy a Christmas present for your sparks?? OP you are way too generous, I really don't think he will mind.

ComtesseDeSpair · 17/12/2019 16:31

Honestly OP, a card and a small box of chocolates at most if you must (if you still have a regular beauty therapist, a cat sitter and doggy daycare then I can’t imagine the wolf’s at the door quite yet, so a fiver or so each would be affordable presumably.) Anything else I’d be amazed at. I bought my personal trainer a reasonably nice whisky last year because he’s ace and he was astonished at that, so definitely not the norm to give such big presents to anyone.

LemonGingerCakes · 17/12/2019 16:32

There’s things (like little boxes of Lindt chocolate balls for £1) that we do for people. A gesture, but not so expensive. If you can’t afford, you can’t afford, but it’s an option. Tesco and Sainsbury’s alternately do the cheaper deals.

Trewser · 17/12/2019 16:37

I buy my farrier 6 bottles of good red wine because I can't live without him. Postie and bin men get a box of biscuits.