Introverts this Christmas

[PerfectionistProcrastinator]

Hello! Introvert here!

I love Christmas time but it’s the time of year that is most wearing for me socially.

Like many, I have no trouble with socialising and chatting but it takes it out of me a lot and often leaves me feeling tired/hungover even though I haven’t had a drink.

My usually quiet social calendar for the days leadings upto and over Christmas are the following:

21st - spending time with sister in law whilst DP spends time with his bro (love her so not a hardship)
22nd - meal with dps dad’s extended family who I’ve never met
23rd - long, physically tiring day at work ahead, socialising after (at work)
24th - Xmas eve with my mum and her partner who is hard work
25th - Xmas Day with my family including sisters partner who is hard work
26th - Boxing Day meal with dps family
27th - party food with dps family
28th - socialising with work colleagues
29th - party with all of dps friends who I love but find hours of endless chatting exhausting

Anyone else expecting similar struggles with the upcoming Christmas period? How can I find socialising so tiring!? I often feel actual physical pain (headache, sore throat, achey eyes). It’s so annoying

We have a quiet Christmas ahead and are only expecting close friends for Boxing Day, as family lie abroad.

The endless social occasions around the kids' school and work, on the other hand are getting very, very exhausting. Hope to learn some coping strategies from other posters.

I don't work outside the home, so no office parties for me. OH is an introvert too- he simply refuses to attend his office party. No one now expects him to.
We will have in laws over on the 28th, but invitations are of the 1pm until 4pm type.

We are also having friends over on christmas eve but we keep the time short. It's lovely to see them, but again we specify times- so prosecco and mince pies, would be lovely to see you at 4pm until 6pm. Our friends and family understand that's the way we work.

And OP, I get you. I would definitely cancel at leat two of the occasions above, it's a too busy schedule in my view.

I am a chatty and sociable enough introvert who can do small talk or more in-depth conversations. Whilst that can be enjoyable, I feel completely depleted afterwards. However, I wouldn't go as far as avoiding all social events as I'm not comfortable living as a recluse.

Do introverts generally suffer from social anxiety as well or are these two experiences separate things?

I wonder just what makes social events so depleting for introverts. I'd love to know more about it to be able to cope better.

Do introverts generally suffer from social anxiety as well or are these two experiences separate things?

I think they are separate.

THis is a good article. www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2003/03/caring-for-your-introvert/302696/

I have no social anxiety- I have spent a good deal of my working life being paid to engage with others- in a sales environment.
I find small talk easy.
I can chat in depth with people I know, I find it wasy to have converstaions with strangers. I am not shy. Although I am lucky enough to work alone at home via the internet (perfect job!!) I do help out a friend with her company doing work at trade shows and similar where I will talk to hundreds of people in a day.

But social interaction leaves me drained.
Somethings like a party or a wedding will leave me quite ill for days, so I avoid at all costs.
My OH jokes that I wil only socialise if I am being paid for it!

Why should your extroverted partner get it his way and not you? He does all the going out and socialising he wants, you don't. Your partner's extended family, your colleagues, etc won't care if you are here or not.

OneKeyAtATime

I agree. All seems very one sided. Ohs family want to see him really- not the OP.

Work socialising is not the law.
In the case of OHs extended family I would drop him off, then go home or onto the gym/shopping for a couple of hours. Let him enjoty the meal and time with his family,
I'd pop in for a coffee with his family for 15 minutes as I pick him up again.
That way everyone is happy- you have had a nice afternoon, OH has seen his family, and you have shown face for a quick chat for a short time.

I’m not coming from the introverts perspective but that seems a lot though. Look deep inside your own soul and decide without burden of expectation, offence, pleasing anyone, social nuance and decide if you you do want to do all those things. I come at it from a I will please myself perspective so for instance I decided I would not attend DH cousin wedding as it would have cost a few hundred quid and I just don’t like him enough.

I worked in two incredibly social places for many years, meals and drinks out pub quiz team, lectures, quite a few free and something on almost every week. But any kind of do so close during Christmas was never put forward in the twenty five years I worked in those two exceptionally sociable environments.

Introvert or extrovert or anything in between do what you want.