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Original poster

Racist abuse in the UK, how likely is it?

62 replies

BowermansNose · 16/12/2019 10:22

My SIL lives in rural southern England, and she claims to get a lot of racist abuse in the shops, and in the streets with people shouting at her to go home. She claims that since Thursday, two people have shouted at her.

The thing is, my SIL is white.

Actually, it's a bit more complicated than that. She doesn't know who her father is, and her mother has never told her (or doesn't know herself). My SIL has dark hair, and so her father could be anything from Greek to Iranian to maybe South Asian, but to me at least, it's really not obvious.

I'm sheltered from racism, being white, and I'm skeptical. I don't know if my SIL is being abused racially, or if she's being a fantasist about this. For reasons I won't go into, I have some reasons to suspect my SIL has fantasist tendencies. What do you think?

OP posts:
Probablythatone · 16/12/2019 11:18

It’s impossible to say really.

ChristmasSpiritsOnThRocksPleas · 16/12/2019 11:20

I’ve never experienced anything like this but then again we all speak with thick British accents. An awful lot of ‘but where is their father really from?’ Islington you wanker.

Original poster
BowermansNose · 16/12/2019 11:46

I agree that it’s impossible to say with any certainty. My DB mentions it a lot. I’m just skeptical. Apparently after the Thursday’s election, my SIL said “here we go” and by Saturday she had been shouted at twice in the street. I want to believe her but I find it difficult

OP posts:
Instagrump · 16/12/2019 12:02

Maybe it's like some people I know. Fanatical Scottish National Party and Scottish Independence supporters who somehow manage to constantly be victims of vile anti-Scottish racism from all 'them English bastart's' they happen to come across whereas all our friends and neighbours (Scottish) haven't had that happen at all. It never seems to happen to those of us who don't have an issue with our Southern neighbours. Same goes for Scottish notes being refused in shops. Only seems to happen to those who avidly support the SNP and hate 'Westmonster'. So I can see that you could believe you're relative of exaggerating the truth.

mbosnz · 16/12/2019 12:05

I guess, the question I'd be asking myself here is, 'what does it matter to me if she's making it up?'

Some people are a tad prone to stretching the truth. So I just take what those people say with several grains of salt (inwardly rolling my eyes).

bobstersmum · 16/12/2019 12:09

I have dark hair and olive skin and used to get called 'Paki' at school. I find it hard to believe that somewhere as multicultural as London your friend is getting such abuse though?

bobstersmum · 16/12/2019 12:10

Sorry I misread I thought you'd said London! Duh.

NotYourHun · 16/12/2019 12:11

I don’t think racism TENDS to be that frequently that overt. In my experience it’s usually more likely to be people making assumptions, stereotyping, providing poorer service etc. rather than actual physical or verbal abuse. But I am white so I’ll shut up now because my perceived experience doesn’t actually matter all that much.

NotYourHun · 16/12/2019 12:13

Sorry that last sentence sounded like I was being sarcastic! I wasn’t! What I was trying to say is that I don’t actually get to say what is racism and who is experiencing it because it isn’t me who has to deal with it!

TheNameGames · 16/12/2019 12:14

I'm British born (in Birmingham) and mixed race. There are parts of the UK I would be very uneasy about travelling to because of (my own pre-conceived judgement) of having racist abuse, from going from a multicultural city to a rural village.

With that said, I do not like racism being thrown around as a political tool and highly doubt that racist remarks have been "upped the ante" at her, since Thursday, specifically.

MIdgebabe · 16/12/2019 12:16

But you say that although she is white, she also looks like her father is foreign...so in that case of course she could be experiencing racist comments

Original poster
BowermansNose · 16/12/2019 12:17

I agree that it's difficult for me to really make a fair judgement as I'm white. It's just my SIL mentions it a lot, and I find it so hard to imagine it's so overt and frequently, especially if someone is white.

If I had to describe how my SIL looks, the closest celebrity is Helen McCrory. I just can't imagine people shouting racist abuse at her

OP posts:
Original poster
BowermansNose · 16/12/2019 12:22

(on a side note, I just found out that Iain Duncan Smith has a Japanese Great Grandmother or Grandmother, and now that I know, I can 'see' it)

OP posts:
lyingwanker · 16/12/2019 12:29

I'd be skeptical too. I mean, if she had dark skin or big Afro style hair then I could maybe believe that she'd had the odd disgusting comment over the years but nope, comments all the time, purely based on race, I just don't believe it.

I grew up in a very "white British" town and was best friends with the only black kid in our 850 kid school. I would say that in the 10 years of growing up he got namecalled less than 5 times. This shit does happen but not every time someone steps out of the house

OhLookHeKickedTheBall · 16/12/2019 12:32

My own family have refused to believe I've had anti Irish stuff shouted at me in the streets - my mother is Irish and if I don't dye my hair I have stereotypical Celtic looks (well, I still have them with the dyed hair but it not being on the red scale seems to stop comments). My sister looks different enough to me to have never encountered it so by default I mustn't have either. I have friends with more tanned skin tones and dark hair who have been called by the P word. It ramps up round this way when certain votes happen unfortunately. Not to mention what happens to people who are from different ethnicity and races. Normally it's only a few people on a roll and going after everyone they perceive to be different. Still shit though.

Original poster
BowermansNose · 16/12/2019 12:43

We only know that my SIL's father could be foreign. I think her mother was either a prostitute (or slept around a lot) in a port-town.

OP posts:
MIdgebabe · 16/12/2019 12:44

I am pretty sure that a lot of white Eastern European's round here get abuse , and they are being identified because of the clothes they wear and the area of town they are in. I would be tempted to trust her unless she has previous

Bendybop · 16/12/2019 12:50

I would believe her.

PurpleFrames · 16/12/2019 12:54

Why would she lie?

I'm from a visable minority in the same way as your sis (white passing). And I regularly get racist abuse (p*ki, go home etc) in a metropolitan city.

Original poster
BowermansNose · 16/12/2019 12:57

I suppose people lie for all sorts of reasons.

I suspect I just need to believe her out of loyalty to the family. I just honestly find it hard to believe.

OP posts:
PurpleFrames · 16/12/2019 13:00

Why ask then if you already know?
You seem in denial about life for a minority tbh. I'd be very hurt if I were your sister.

It's horrible being abused in the street and clearly you have no clue.

Original poster
BowermansNose · 16/12/2019 13:01

Going back on my earlier comparison, Dawn French might be a better comparison (also in terms of accent). If someone told you her father was Italian or Greek you would believe it, but I can't imagine people would tell her to go home.

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Original poster
BowermansNose · 16/12/2019 13:02

I didn't say I know, and I admit I don't know what life is like for a minority. I'm gathering views, which are mixed.

OP posts:
PurpleFrames · 16/12/2019 13:02

Surely the by your logic anti semitism does exist as most UK Jews are white?

Honeybee85 · 16/12/2019 13:03

So she looks sort of Mediterranean?

It could happen.
My good friend is Greek and someone tried to spit on her once when she was walking on the street in a a country in Northern Europe whilst speaking Greek with her husband. She’s white too but some kind of weirdo wanted to let her know what he thought of foreigners in his country. It can happen to anyone that people as ‘a foreigner’ either mistakenly or correctly, even when said anyone is white.