Racist abuse in the UK, how likely is it?

[BowermansNose]

My SIL lives in rural southern England, and she claims to get a lot of racist abuse in the shops, and in the streets with people shouting at her to go home. She claims that since Thursday, two people have shouted at her.

The thing is, my SIL is white.

Actually, it's a bit more complicated than that. She doesn't know who her father is, and her mother has never told her (or doesn't know herself). My SIL has dark hair, and so her father could be anything from Greek to Iranian to maybe South Asian, but to me at least, it's really not obvious.

I'm sheltered from racism, being white, and I'm skeptical. I don't know if my SIL is being abused racially, or if she's being a fantasist about this. For reasons I won't go into, I have some reasons to suspect my SIL has fantasist tendencies. What do you think?

Luckily you have never seen it in action it seems people here have seen enough to believe it.

That's not my logic!

For the record, I'm not doubting that racism exists, or that people get abused racially.

I just find it hard to believe that since Thursday, my SIL, who is at most, olive-skinned, speaks with a westcountry accent, and dresses in a completely unremarkable way has been shouted at twice across the street, where she was told to go back to where she came from, and then called a 'f*king p*I' in two separate incidents.

I'm black and I'm skeptical. Not that it doesn't happen, it sure does and always when you don't expect it, but every other day? And she can pass for white? I'm

I think she's exaggerating for attention. Maybe it's something about not knowing what her cultural roots actually are.

It's terrible that her mother has never told her who her father is. Cruel in fact. She should insist she tell her.

She can also do an Ancestry DNA kit. Can find potential relatives and find out where he might be from.

In the summer I had a Scottish note refused in an ice cream shop. When I left a review on trip advisor stating that, they made comments saying I had abused their staff which was a complete lie. I live in England btw and haven't experienced this anywhere else. It is discrimination, but they have the right to refuse.

Dont assume that being white makes you exempt from racism, and dont assume that being white British/Scottish/English/Welsh means you dont get racist abuse from people who are not (white).

Dont assume that being white makes you exempt from racism

I agree - someone posted about their Greek friend was was shouted in street while speaking Greek for being a foreigner. That sounds entirely plausible. Anti-semitism happens, but in my experience, it tends to be directed towards Jewish people.

What I'm doubting is whether people with olive-skins at regularly called p*is, f**king Arabs, etc. My SIL doesn't even know if she has an ethnic origin, and I don't know how racists on the street pick it up. To my SIL's best knowledge, she could have British, Italian, Iranian, Indian, or Malaysian ancestry. She doesn't know.

Perhaps some very shortsighted, narrowminded people see olive skin + dark hair and think immediately of the countries you mentioned in your post. They are unable to see humans as individuals but only see them as ‘ foreigners’ purely based on not looking ‘ standard ethnical West European’ and start spitting their racist vitriol.

I have had racist abuse shouted at me in London

"Too many foreign chapatis here. Go home"

Hey gujarati

And the more insidious type. At cambridge:
" Please say hi to your father"
Me: Im sure you dont know my father. He died many years ago.
Oh - isnt he the corner shop owner?

Does she care whether you believe her or not?

I have to say, I wouldn't.

I have had racist abuse shouted at me in London ... "Too many foreign chapatis here. Go home"

I don't doubt that, but I'm assuming you don't just have dark hair.

Does she care whether you believe her or not?

I suspect not. Only she knows if she is telling the truth or not.

I'd be inclined to believe her tbh. My friend is born and bred UK, parents are Asian but she is fairly pale skinned for her heritage, she is muslim but dresses western (no hijab) and has noticed that after events like the GE and the referendum that racist remarks came a lot more frequently. The morning after the referendum she was walking into work and was harassed by someone on the street saying things like "we voted to get rid of p**i cunts like you" etc. That afternoon we walked into town on lunch together and someone shouted at her that she should fuck off home and her kind we're no longer welcome here. I had a few choice words to say to that arsehole which I'm sure he didn't understand because they weren't monosyllabic but it happens, and it's fucking horrible, but that's the kind of society we're in at the moment, Brexit has a lot to answer for tbh.

I don’t think it helps that you say she doesn’t know her heritage. Nor does a stranger.

Does she actually look like Dawn French?

Skin colour is part of it, eye shape/colour, hair colour and texture nose shape etc can affect if someone looks like they are from another race.

In London I tend to be fine, had an old lady call me a p* on a bus once.
Usual “where are you really from?” and “Do you speak Indian?” No luv, that’s not a language.

I lived in the Home Counties for a bit and that was daily but not aggressive. Just ignoring me, talking to DH if I asked a question, inviting all other mums out but because they assumed I didn’t drink

For what it’s worth my accent is probably most similar to Jack Whitehall/Miranda. People flux their racism depending on the perceived class.

Maybe I've known my SIL so long, I just don't see anything remarkable in her "ethnic makeup", so I find it hard to imagine others would. I just see her a White British woman with brown hair.

Dont assume that being white makes you exempt from racism, and dont assume that being white British/Scottish/English/Welsh means you dont get racist abuse from people who are not (white).

Sure thing. I would never say different. But every other day? And it's not obvious that she's from another culture? In England?

Dubious.

Sorry meant to hightlight Dont assume that being white makes you exempt from racism, and dont assume that being white British/Scottish/English/Welsh means you dont get racist abuse from people who are not (white).

Well, it sounds unlikely to me. I'm from a very white rural area in Southern England (but now have mixed race kids) and it just wouldn't happen there, especially to someone with Helen Mcrory's colouring.

I mean, I'm not saying that there's no racism or that it definitely DIDN'T happen. But it sounds vvvv unlikely.

Far more likely that she is a bit of a fantasist (especially if you have other reasons to suspect this), and that she thinks a lot about the mystery of her parentage and how it might make her "different" or "special" in some way. Like maybe she doen't feel like she belongs or is accepted, and she wants to have an external reason for that. I'm just guessing here.

There’s a lot of ignorant people out there and I find OP ignorant too for not believing her

My parents, both white and English, had racist abuse shouted at them in the summer because they got out of a foreign resitered car. So nothing would surprise me any more, unfortunately.

Does she have form for fantasizing about other things? If she regularly claims stuff that isn't true and gets caught out, I can see why you're sceptical, but if it's always about her being on the recieving end of racism, then she may well be telling the truth and the fact that you don't see her as 'foreign'- looking doesn't mean that some arseholes don't.

Have you any reason not to believe her though. Do you not get on or does she lie about other things.

I have lived and worked somewhere very racist by UK standards for a long time (BNP controlled council at one point).

I would say almost all of the black or south asian people I know will have had direct abuse at some point; but when it occurs it's rare and a big deal (they'd call the police if it was as bad as you describe).

Dsis has witnessed dbil experience racist abuse when people don't realise they are together or that she is nearby. In UK, various regions.

All I would say that on social media, she is quite active, where she has created an alternative persona, and there have been a few other stories over the years about her work (although not working in her job, it is never possible to know if they are also true)