Library rhymetime for Dads

[Jinglejanglescarecrows]

My local library has just announced 2 Saturday rhymetime sessions it it is doing over xmas for Dads. Now part of me thinks that’s great, encouraging Dad to take little ones to rhymetime. But the other part of me, who happens to be a full time working single mum of two, who would love to go to rhymetime but unfortunately can’t as they’re in the week, feels a little bit pissed off with the concept.

Is it not just reinforcing the traditional dad, working 9-5 monday to fri, not doing many recreational activities with his kids. Wife stays at home.

I’m going to pop in and ask if I can attend with DS 2&3 and they will absolutely say it is fine. The staff are absolutely lovely. But I am I being a bit oversensitive being a bit pissed off by the concept?

Just turn up. They won't actually care whether you are mum, dad or Auntie Sue.

They’ve done a session like this before and the photo on facebook was literally all dads, and loads of them! Which i think is also not helping with my overthinking!

I agree,but please go and have a lovely time.

Imagine how annoying it would be if a dad turned up to a mums-only group because it suited him better. The session isn't for you, don't go - but perhaps ask about ones for all sexes at weekends going forward?

I agree with GunpowderGelatine. Just let them have it as they probably usually feel outnumbered. Why does everything always have to be mixed? But yes, ask about another one for mums or mixed.

Our Library Rhymetime with Dad, is specifically for men and children. Any mums who approach are given details of other services.

You are being over sensitive OP. Check out what else they have going on.

A lot of dads feel very excluded from activities with their children so I think it's great that this kind of thing exists. There must be plenty of other activities you can attend. Don't turn up to the one for dads!

I'd leave them to it. Anything to support dads interacting with their kids can only be a good thing. But do talk to the library staff about an open session.

I think that having an extra rhyme time targeting dads is good. I think taking away the rhyme time that is open to everyone in order to run one that is only accepting dads is wrong.

However, in our less than ideal world, it may be that they don't have the ability to run both?

I would definitely go along if I were in your shoes, OP.

But if you’re off at the weekend you can do absolutely anything with them? Rhymetime’s not all that.

Extra rhymetimes for dads over Xmas to free mums up to do all the wifework 👍

Surely makes more sense to just have a weekend rhyme time for working parents rather than just Dad’s.

I know where you are coming from. It is assumed that women can attend stuff in working hours. I had a similar thing. When your child is diagnosed with autism in our are you have to do a parenting course to access any further medical care. This is run over 6 whole thursdays in a village hall. Unless you are a Dad. Then you have a choice of main course or a shorter course, run over 3 evening in a room in a pub. Now i have no problems with a male course. I get a lot of dads work and have different needs or find women intimidating. But i was cross that there wasnt a choice for working women of a shorter evening course.

There’s literally thousands of things aimed at mums and babies, not very much aimed at dads. Dads meeting with other dads to reduce the stigma of men taking care of their children is a good thing.

OP, I was wondering similar at our leisure centre on Sunday, which has a 9-5 weekday creche, so provides childcare only for PT or self employed parents who are around in the week. I could use the gym on a Sunday morning whilst DS is in his swimming lesson, only I can't as I have no childcare for our little one. FT working mother in the week.

This annoys me as there is never provision for mothers made at weekends. Specails dads' events get arranged as dads seemingly can't turn up to anything unless it's specifically signposted for them. All our local child events are in the week. Where's the Saturday toddler groups that I can take DD to and get to meet other parents of similar aged children? Go along OP, and tell them you're a FT working parent, just like these dads. See what they say.

Ours run it every weekend and once a month is dads only, the reason being most groups are overwhelmingly mother and baby, so they have a dads one. I think it’s a great idea.

There’s Loads aimed at mums and kids - in the week. I work ft mon-fri, through necessity not choice. I bloody loved rhymetime on mat leave, as did my son. But apparently I shouldn’t go as I’m not a dad and it might make the dads feel bad.

OP, where we live there are plenty of dads who see childcare as women's work. My DH gets viewed with suspicion at our local toddler group as a dad with a baby. Only GParents and child minders would talk to him. He goes to one about 15 minutes drive away where there are other dads in the mix.

I would happily applaud any initiative to get dads interacting with their kids, so long as working mums also got a look in, which they don't. Ask them if you can come. If they say no, ask what weeks they'll be running the companion session for working mothers, take your diary with you to write down the date.

I work in a village library that is open on Saturday mornings. We do run dad-child rhymetime sessions once a month. We have never had other carers/mums turn up to this but if we did, we wouldn't turn them away. We also run activities or stay & play on the other Saturdays & these are aimed at everybody. So, in our case, we are trying to target a demographic which doesn't much use the library (males between 18-64), rather than discourage other users.

In my area the Saturday sessions are for dads who have their children for a couple of hours on a Saturday due to custody arrangements rather than because they work through the week. But then my area is deprived.

That would piss me off too.

I can see why they are doing a session aimed at dads, fathers are underrepresented at the toddler things I take my DC to, even the ones at weekends.
I think the annoying thing here is that there isn’t any weekend session open that includes mums.

I’d ask if they can do sessions for everyone moving forward.

Jinglejanglescarecrows It sounds like you are missing out because there is nothing aimed at working mums. It's great that that there are opportunities for working dads to access these activities. But to be fair there needs to be opportunities for working mums to access activities too. Where I live there are no mum or dad specific rhyme times at the library, they are for specific age groups for the children (that's so activities are aimed at age and stage of development) and mums, dads, grandparents, aunties, uncles, carers can accompany the children. Seems to work well enough.

To be honest, i think i am just sad that there’s nothing in the way of toddler group/classed that i can take them to at the weekend. Soft play is all very well and good but it’s expensive and they get bored of it.

I honestly don’t know any other Mums who work full time so perhaps there’s not a market for it? Maybe I should start one and see!

I asked the lovely lady at the library and she said yes of course I could come along. She’s never been asked by a Mum before and it’s all about getting groups into the library who don’t currently use them.