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Original poster

i have social anxiety and an interview tomorrow! I don't want to go! help!

49 replies

Riversided · 15/12/2019 21:48

I on a whim applied for a job which I don't really even fulfill the essential criteria for and got an interview. I'm now bloody shit scared. I'm trying to prep but I can't focus and am so nervous.

I would like to get the job. It's a really good organisation to work for and the pay is much better than what Im on now.

I have such an overwhelming urge to cancel. I can't cope with the nerves.

What can I do to think straight?!

OP posts:

noblegiraffe · 15/12/2019 21:53

Think like a man, they apply for and get jobs that they don’t really meet the essential criteria for all the time.

Prep the questions, research the company and look on it as ‘good practice’ for your next step up, rather than make or break.

TheClausSeason · 15/12/2019 21:54

Focus on each intervening step in insolation. Ignore the interview, focus on getting ready for bed. That's not scary, you do it every night. Then, tomorrow, focus on each thing as you do it- getting out of bed, showering, eating breakfast etc.

Remember that the absolute worst thing that can happen is that you end up in the same position you're currently in- you've nothing to lose.

Original poster

Riversided · 15/12/2019 22:00

The thing is, I know I can do the job but I'm scared of the interview. I have images of me going blank, stuttering, not getting my words out properly and the worst would be not having an answer for the a question.

I get really nervous and do badly in interviews. It's one of the reasons I've stayed in my current low paid job.

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Jobs

sausagefingersH · 15/12/2019 22:03

Take notes with you so if your mind goes blank you have something to refer to (before you start just politely ask if it's ok to look at your notes in the interview as you have prepared some examples of past experience)

TheClausSeason · 15/12/2019 22:05

You can do it, you know what you're talking about and will give a good impression. I sometimes give myself a pep talk in the mirror before interviews and find it helps. If your mind does go blank, take a deep breath, don't be afraid to pause or take a sip of water, or even repeat the question. You'll be fine.

Tolleshunt · 15/12/2019 22:07

It’s normal to be nervous for interviews, and the interviewers will be expecting it. You’re not wrong or defective to feel nerves.

Have you got any means of calming/soothing yourself, like relaxing breathing exercises?

The worst that can happen is you don’t get the job. So are in the same position you are in now. Nobody gets every job they interview for. You might get it. You might not. Just focus on what you want and go for it!

Original poster

Riversided · 16/12/2019 06:54

Omg. I'm so nervous. I tried calming relaxation breathing before bed but I couldn't sleep well. I know.im reacting over the top but it's not something I can control.

OP posts:

IdiotInDisguise · 16/12/2019 06:59

If you can’t control it and is affecting you this much, just cancel, no need.

anotherweenamechange · 16/12/2019 07:03

Oh OP, don’t allow yourself to be nervous. Don’t even allow your mind to go there.

Get ready as if you’re getting ready for any other day and put the interview out of your mind until you get there.

Good luck! Please let us know how you get on.

Difficultcustomer · 16/12/2019 07:09

Interviewers will know that people get really nervous. Good luck.

BedraggledBlitz · 16/12/2019 07:11

I'm exactly the same before interviews. It's a very normal reaction.

You've done really well to be offered an interview. Think of how good you'll feel when it's over.

rosieposies · 16/12/2019 07:14

You're going to feel amazing when it's over OP! You've got nothing to lose here - if the worst does happen and you stutter or get anxious you'll never see these people again so it won't matter! They're just people at the end of the day don't forget that x

bengalcat · 16/12/2019 07:15

Noble giraffe is right . Would a man think like this - no . Clearly as you’ve been offered an interview you clearly do meet their essential criteria . As you say you would like this job - believe in yourself , get in there and good luck .

Tittie · 16/12/2019 07:20

Remember that if you can't think of an answer to a question immediately, you can do a thoughtful face and ask 'can I come back to that question later?'. You'll have time to think of something while you answer other questions. I've done this and still got the job! It's also fine for there to be a short pause while you think of a response to a question - it can come across as a sign of confidence, even if you're actually nervous inside. Good luck today, you can do it

cherryblossomgin · 16/12/2019 07:24

I have social anxiety and when I have to go for interviews or talk in front of people I get nervous too so you aren't alone in this. I try to adopt my confident persona, its kinda like I am acting. Also remind yourself why you want the job and in list all your strengths. Try to think positively, the last job I interviewed for was my current one and the day I went for the interview I was annoyed at my old work so I went in with the determination to get out of the it.

OllyBJolly · 16/12/2019 07:39

Congratulations on getting the interview! No one has time to interview candidates who aren't potential hires so well done on getting this far.

I've been hiring for almost 40 years now. I'd say that at interview stage, it's almost a level playing field. The CV has done its job, it's now about personality and culture fit. The interviewer might have a favourite on paper, but more often than not, the reality doesn't match the CV.

You have nothing to lose. The interviewer wants you to be be good - a successful interview means their job is done.

As @cherryblossomgin says, pretend to be confident. You have as much right to be at that interview as any other candidate. You know you can do the job. Best of luck!

MindYours · 16/12/2019 08:35

Good luck OP I'm the same as you so rooting for you! X

Original poster

Riversided · 16/12/2019 08:39

Thanks for the encouraging comments. It's in the afternoon. I'm the last one. I'll let you all know how it goes.

OP posts:

BabyMoonPie · 16/12/2019 08:48

Before the interview: prepare. Know the job and the company. Review your application and think about good examples of things you've done which might help answer questions. In the interview, take your time. Think about what you want to say before you say it and don't blurt out an answer. Ask for the question to be repeated if you need it to be so you can make sure you've answered it. If it's competency based use the STAR method. You've been invited to interview so you've got what they're looking for so now you have to prove it. Good luck

Babdoc · 16/12/2019 09:42

OP an interview is a two way thing. It's not just what they think of you. What do you think of them?
Try to look at it the other way round.
You are interviewing THEM, to see if you want to work with them or not!
That might give you a bit more feeling of control.
Use positive mantras before you go in. Recite to yourself "I am capable, I am professional, I can do this job". Repeat it in your head and get it fixed there so you believe it.
Remember too that ALL the candidates will be nervous. Some are just better at hiding it.
Focus on what you want to get out of this experience - a better job, more interesting work, higher salary, whatever it is that made you apply.
See the interview as simply a step on the way to achieving that. No big deal. You either get the job, or you get some useful interview practice for next time. That's a win/win - there is no downside to this.
Chin up, believe in yourself and go for it!
Very best of luck, OP. Sock it to them!

Original poster

Riversided · 16/12/2019 14:06

I'm at work this afternoon and just couldn't concentrate. I'm on the train to the interview! Oh god! I feel sick.

OP posts:

midsomermurderess · 16/12/2019 14:46

Often people don't come across anywhere near as nervous as they feel, in my experience anyway. And your interviewers will know that you will be nervous. It's perfectly natural. A decent interview also shouldn't be a series of gotchas and wrongfooting the interviewee. They're not out to get you.

anotherweenamechange · 16/12/2019 16:01

How did it go?

Original poster

Riversided · 16/12/2019 16:04

Aaaarhh! Just waiting for the train home now. It went pretty shit. There were some really hard questions which I couldn't answer fully. My voice was shaky and I was trembling. My mind went blank so many times. I'm glad it's over. I'm exhausted.

They seemed really nice and a lovely place to work which makes me feel even more shit about it. I'd love that job.

OP posts:

ShootTheRunner · 16/12/2019 16:09

Well done for going! You just never know, you might have been what they were looking for. I had my first interview today after being a SAHM for 9 years, I wanted to run away!!

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