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Original poster

Single parent - high temp, feel really unwell just can’t cope

46 replies

ilovecrumpets · 14/12/2019 13:38

Don’t know why I’m posting really. I guess because I feel so lonely.

So for parent to DC 7 and 4. Had a really bad run of illness since October. I’ve been properly ill once with flu and secondary infections. Have no family help.

I haven’t been properly well since then but today I’m really unwell again. High temp, shaking, can’t swallow and feel really truly awful. Couldn’t even make lunch so had to order in pizza. Youngest also now has a temp. Any friends I could maybe ask for help ( I hate asking but really feel so bad) are out doing Xmas family days.

I think the temp is making me feel panicky and scared. Sitting here crying. Honestly feel like I can’t do this. Particularly with youngest being unwell.

My eldest has some SN and it panics him when I’m ill so I need to get control somehow.

I know in a few days things will feel better. Just seems an eternity right now.

OP posts:
Anyoed · 14/12/2019 13:42

Hand in there. Take some paracetamol have a cup of tea. I no how you feel I have a 3 year old family live 45 mins away. But if you are really struggling can you ask a neighbour or a friend I no you said they are busy but if you do t ask all the time I'm sure some one would be happy to help. Flowers hope you feel better soon

Original poster
ilovecrumpets · 14/12/2019 13:46

Thank you for replying @anyoed. It really is the worst bit of being a single parent. I’m taken some Ibuprofen and hoping it starts to work.

My eldest has just washed the dishes - but if water everywhere but a small positive!

OP posts:
Anyoed · 14/12/2019 13:50

I no what you mean. My 3 year old had hand foot and mouth disease. I got a nasty cold it was not fun. Luckily we are getting better. It's so hard isn't it. Just having some one to talk to helps it can feel so lonely. Very sweet that he wants to help. ( so frustrating when the help makes more work.) I feel for you I really do. Maybe the 7 year old can keep the 4 year old playing whilst u sit and wait for tablet to work. [smile oh and tv is your friend if they will sit and watch it to give u a break

Binterested · 14/12/2019 13:51

Sympathies to you and yes it is the worst. Sofa, film, dozing with the DCs eating biscuits is good enough. Also if someone can bring you some day nurse that really does help you power through when you just have to. Really hope you are on the mend soon - mine are older now so can cope but it is so so hard when they are little and you feel so helpless.

Original poster
ilovecrumpets · 14/12/2019 13:55

Thank you both for replying. It has actually calmed me down just posting!

They are now both on tablets. Eldest has offered to make jam sandwiches for dinner. I might just let him and deal with the mess tomorrow!

Glad to hear you are on the mend Anyoed

OP posts:
PickwickThePlockingDodo · 14/12/2019 13:59

Jam sandwiches sound fabulous. Just relax, don't worry about the mess - that can be sorted in a few days when you're feeling better.

Binterested · 14/12/2019 14:04

Also this is how fab single parents are. Your 7 year old knows you need looking after and can contribute. You get kids like this in single parent families - I was one and I am a single parent myself and I see the same in my kids. As single parents we try not to overload them with responsibility but they do grow up with a maturity and consciousness of others that can take a lot longer to develop in other families imho.

Lobsterquadrille2 · 14/12/2019 14:06

@ilovecrumpets I remember those days!! I was a sole parent but only to one child. I used to make a camp of sleeping bags and duvets, with the cat for company. Hope that you feel better very soon.

Blueshadow · 14/12/2019 14:07

Jam sandwiches sound like a great dinner (and kind of fun for eldest to make and eat). Very early night for all tonight!

Lobsterquadrille2 · 14/12/2019 14:09

And completely agree with @Binterested too. My DD is too responsible and caring for her own good and I have to remind her that she's 22 and supposed to be out with her friends.

Absa · 14/12/2019 14:10

Def take some paracetamol to bring temp down as that will make you feel better - even if youve had ibuprofen. It must be horrible for you. I agree, jam sandwiches sound like a good idea. I hope you feel better soon x

Original poster
ilovecrumpets · 14/12/2019 14:11

Thank you everyone. Smile.

And yes a Star to our ( generally Wink) wonderful kids

OP posts:
InglouriousBasterd · 14/12/2019 14:12

@Binterested totally right, I’ve found the same with DD.

You poor thing OP. You need paracetamol to get that temp down - any in the house?

Original poster
ilovecrumpets · 14/12/2019 14:20

Yes have taken both ibuprofen and paracetamol and temperature has come down a bit. So don’t feel that shakey/scared feeling at least anymore!

Arthur Christmas now going on the TV!

OP posts:
DogCatHat · 14/12/2019 14:32

Your 7yo sounds fabulous! TV and whatever the 7yo can make, you'll get through.

Is there a WhatsApp group for the parents from school? Can you send an emergency message to see whether 7yo could join anyone on a day out tomorrow (if you cover all costs and throw in a tenner for treats)? I'd be happy to do that for any of DS' friends.

AtrociousCircumstance · 14/12/2019 14:36

Omg you have my absolute sympathies. I’ve been unwell for weeks now too but I’m not a single parent and family are nearby. And it’s still shit, upsetting and exhausting so I can’t imagine how tough it is for you.

Tv, takeaways, jam sandwiches, more tv, sofa snuggles, and yet more tv.

Get well soon Flowers

CrazyDuchess · 14/12/2019 15:34

❤❤❤❤

DressedAs · 14/12/2019 15:39

You have my sympathies OP. It doesn't matter if you all stay in today - get the duvets on the sofa, put the TV on and have ham sandwiches. Any friends you can message just to let them know how you are is a good idea too, just so someone knows you aren't well. Maybe someone could call in just for a cuppa to make you feel less lonely? It really is so hard when you are on your own with children to look after and don't feel well.

Rest as much as you can. This will pass. Thanks

YouveDoneItToYourself · 14/12/2019 16:28

Oh OP you have my sympathy. My sister is a single parent of two children (one with SEN) and I remember when she came down with noro last year. I went round and held her hair out of the way while she vomited and looked after the children. I remember thinking how on Earth do single parents do it when they have no help! You are amazing, hang in there, it will pass! Do the absolute bare minimum to survive and you will get through it Thanks

BarbaraStrozzi · 14/12/2019 16:33

ARthur Christmas and jam butties for tea sounds just the ticket, OP. Flowers

And as a single parent myself, I know how much it sucks trying to look after children while you're ill yourself. But your eldest sounds brilliant. And it does get easier as they get older and more independent.

(I find it helps enormously once they're old enough for sleepovers, 'cos you can build up brownie points with their friends' parents by having them over to yours, then call in favours later down the line... Not that this helps you right now, but it does give you light at the end of the tunnel to look forward to.)

Inliverpool1 · 14/12/2019 16:40

DS snd I have had flu all week, him clinging to me like a nuclear oven and me trying not to cough green phelm over him. It’s passed quickly though 2 days

Rosere · 14/12/2019 18:56

Your 7year old sounds like a superstar. I'm sure you are very proud of them. Arthur Christmas and jam sandwiches sounds awesome, and I hope you feel better soon.

CottonSock · 14/12/2019 18:59

You sound really unwell. If you can't swallow it could be tonsilitis? Do you need to see a Dr? I know it's a pain, but maybe call.

Northernsoullover · 14/12/2019 19:03

I'm just here to sympathize. I've had norovirus and had to look after the children. Thankfully they are older now and the last time I was really ill I had them making cups of tea for me. I would second trying to get to a GP if you don't feel better tomorrow.
Easier said than done though.

megletthesecond · 14/12/2019 19:11

FlowersBrew it's miserable isn't it. Sit tight and drop your standards for the weekend. No point in trying to keep on top of stuff if you can't get better.

Mine are older now and trained to do cheese on toast for me when I'm poorly.

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