Single parent - high temp, feel really unwell just can’t cope

[ilovecrumpets]

Don’t know why I’m posting really. I guess because I feel so lonely.

So for parent to DC 7 and 4. Had a really bad run of illness since October. I’ve been properly ill once with flu and secondary infections. Have no family help.

I haven’t been properly well since then but today I’m really unwell again. High temp, shaking, can’t swallow and feel really truly awful. Couldn’t even make lunch so had to order in pizza. Youngest also now has a temp. Any friends I could maybe ask for help ( I hate asking but really feel so bad) are out doing Xmas family days.

I think the temp is making me feel panicky and scared. Sitting here crying. Honestly feel like I can’t do this. Particularly with youngest being unwell.

My eldest has some SN and it panics him when I’m ill so I need to get control somehow.

I know in a few days things will feel better. Just seems an eternity right now.

My sympathies to you OP. You are describing what I have. But my DS is grown with his own child, and my teen DSS and DH are looking after me, which I’m so grateful for.

I also felt very weird and panicky yesterday but that has mostly passed although my throat has got worse.

Hope you feel better soon.

Thanks everyone. I managed to find a friend who came and helped with bedtime as I could barely get off the sofa. I actually cried on the phone to her . It’s tricky because getting anyone to help is difficult with my eldest’s SEN as he has very bad anxiety.

Managed to get my temperature down again which makes things feel at least manageable.

I’m also thinking tonsillitis as my lymph nodes are very swollen and throat doesn’t look good. So think will have to try and get an appointment tomorrow ( although the thought of leaving the house is not good!).

Thanks again for all the good wishes and for listening. It genuinely has made me feel a bit better and less panicky.

🥰

You’ll get through this, don’t worry.

I had gastroenteritis as a single parent with two toddlers. I couldn’t find my phone and had to go online to get my sis to call an ambulance (I was having panic attack over the vomiting and poop).

I also was so ill once the plumber who came round to do a job actually finished cooking my kids dinner and sitting them at table for me as I just couldn’t get off the sofa.

If you have friends, ring them, they will feel honoured to help you out honestly, especially at this time of year when everyone is feeling most charitable. Even just phoning them to ask if they can drop some milk and bread round on their way back from work/school runs.

Op so glad you phoned a friend and she was able to help out a bit. Keep hold of the thought that I’m a few days you’ll be better and at some
Point you’ll look back in all of this.
You
May have a budding masterchef there. Don’t be too tough if the jam is a little wonky or a bit thick - sounds excellent.
Support and hope you improve.
Btw - been looking after repeat tonsillitis friend and long time sufferer. By a mile the best non prescription stuff is difflam gargle and strefen lozenges (subject of course to any active ingredient you can’t have). Both behind the counter.

So glad you had someone to help. Being on your own is horrible when you unwell

hope you’re feeling better soon

Wishing you well. Single parent here too and the thought of having nobody to take care of me when I’ll fills me such sadness. Your 7 year old is amazing, and I agree with other posters that our kids learn to look out for us much earlier and that this is a great quality. Can you get them in bed earlier than normal until you recover so that you have peace and quiet? Please do see a doctor as you may need antibiotics.

hope you're ok - I've got a horrible bug but thankful I have family around me . I can't imagine feeling the way I did this week and not having anyone to help with kids or reassure me .
Keep up your fluid intake if you're having temps and try and see GP if throat getting worse .

Glad you're feeling better crumpets!
I totally get you. Last time I was ill was on Halloween, had a dreadful vomiting bug. Was half asleep on the sofa most of the day but then the DC reminded me I hadn't done the sodding pumpkins yet. Once they were carved I had absolutely nothing left... thankfully I have a very kind neighbour who took my DC round the houses with her children, so I could stay home and puke my guts out rest. But I felt so desperately alone that day - I wanted someone to look after my DC so I could rest and recover, but I also really wanted someone to look after me, tuck me in and make me tea and tell me it's all going to be alright. In moments like that it's really shit to be single I'd tried before when I was ill to call their dad to see if he would look after them, but as it wasn't his scheduled day he wouldn't do it.

to all the single parents. You are amazing

Feel better soon OP x

I have been through this too, it’s shit. When you’re better think about getting a flu jab. I got stuck on my own with the kids at Christmas once, two of us with the flu and the other with Noro. It was truly awful. I’ve had a flu jab pretty much every year since then.

Glad you have someone to help...what a good friend!

I'd tried before when I was ill to call their dad to see if he would look after them, but as it wasn't his scheduled day he wouldn't do it.

My ex was the same. How the hell do they get away with it?! Imagine if we just turned around and said “nope, I’m not going to look after my kids” as mothers that would be totally unacceptable and we’d probably soon be on the radar of the social services.

Different rules for us

Hi everyone

Thanks again for all the messages. I ended up in out of hours and it was quite severe tonsillitis. Within 24 hours of the antibiotics I feel still unwell but can function! And temperature is raised but not so high.

@SansaClegane - yes that’s it. When I felt so unwell I just wanted someone to say it would be ok and look after me!

@Coatzillaclaus and @Inliverpool1 - I asked my ex and he said he needed more notice. Must try and advance schedule illness next time

Glad you're on the mend. I once had sinusitis when mine were small end I remember just sitting at the kitchen table crying with pain and wishing I could go to bed. It gets so much easier the older they get.

Op drop all standards, films tv, dirty clothes, take aways.... Do whatever you need to get through this.
Dh left me once when I was bed bound with high energy even for a toddler, toddler. We were shut in the bedroom, and it was the day with UK wide bad pollution. I could barely breath, lift my head up.

Just do whatever you can. To be honest as long as they have liquids and milk they will survive a day or two with the most basic food.

If you have any access to online shopping use that too.

Glad you're on the mend OP. The kids will survive on pizza, cake and milk. The house will survive on zero cleaning.

Glad to hear there is light at the end of the tunnel. Sorry that your children’s father is a massive arse but I guess you know that. Hope health continues to improve and you get to enjoy a bit of Christmas spirit.

I must admit I batched cooked lots of green soups with added tea spoon of powered green goodness in case of severe flu etc. Give shot of green with hardly any hassle

Glad you’re on the mend 🌞