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Original poster

Mortifying first date, help me feel better?

58 replies

Tryingtoslim · 14/12/2019 13:04

Went on a first ‘date’ last night. I say date but really we’d been talking all day and I went out last night. Drunk messaged him and he came and met me. So we went for a drive. Basically I got in a car with someone I don’t know absolutely hammered. Not only that but I was so drunk that I made no conversation and all we did was drive to McDonald’s to pick my friend up some food then dropped me home. I even joked that he was my Uber drive cringe. Oh and to add to the already horrendous situation my card got declined.

Please tell me your first date stories to make me feel a tiny bit better

OP posts:
MindYours · 14/12/2019 14:26

Grow up

Original poster
Tryingtoslim · 14/12/2019 14:28

I’m early 20s which people will probably find bizarre for being on Mumsnet but I enjoy reading some of the style posts. I posted about it to hear other stories of “dates” Ali though I now realise this was not a date to make myself feel better because he was a really nice guy and I messed it up.

It’s worse because as I was walking to the car I was thinking about how my mum had said to me not long ago - in passing- how dangerous meet ups from online sites are

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 14/12/2019 14:30

When you say you were talking to him all day, do you mean messaging?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Dating General relationships
Sagradafamiliar · 14/12/2019 14:31

I joined in my early 20s too, it's not so weird.
Look, it's done now. You're fine. Has he been in touch? I

Spied · 14/12/2019 14:31

Good God you sound 15 not early 20s.
You sound a catch...run for the hills fellas

SpiderCharlotte · 14/12/2019 14:39

The getting pissed thing is just one of those things that lots of people have done (including me) so no issue with that, it's your hangover. But getting in the car of a total stranger when you were hammered is just bloody stupid. And no matter how pissed I was, I wasn't that daft.

elenacampana · 14/12/2019 14:46

As others have said OP, it wasn’t a date. I’m glad you’re reflecting on it though because it means you’re less likely to do it again.

As for online dating being dangerous, well it definitely can be and you have to be really careful about where/when you meet. Done right however, it can work out beautifully. I met my husband online :-)

MoiraRose · 14/12/2019 14:47

You sound a catch...run for the hills fellas

That's not nice and there's no need Hmm

OP, please just put this down to an experience never to be repeated. You know nothing about him. Not only could he have harmed you physically, he could also be a maniac driver on drugs or anything and crashed with you in. Sounds OTT but does happen

Election2019 · 14/12/2019 14:51

Just remember OP that in one of the worse case scenarios your parents could have been spending Christmas knowing their daughter had just been murdered.

Please be careful.

PlasticPatty · 14/12/2019 14:56

Just remember OP that in one of the worse case scenarios your parents could have been spending Christmas knowing their daughter had just been murdered. Please be careful
And that's the bottom line. We have to teach our loved ones to be afraid, in order to keep them safe. I'm glad you were with a decent bloke, OP, who didn't rape you or murder you. I wish everyone could meet with decent people.

Househunt1 · 14/12/2019 15:04

spied that wasn't very nice, you don't know this person. We've all done stupid things when young through being naive and look back and think god the dangerous situations we've put ourselves in. Just be careful in the future and expect more from a man than a drive in his car, he sounds a catch. I think you've learnt from this so ignore horrible comments

Original poster
Tryingtoslim · 14/12/2019 15:28

Thankyou for all your kind comments, it’s really made me realise that actually I do have a bit of a drink problem and actually I can’t control it like I thought I could

OP posts:
Shockers · 14/12/2019 15:33

I shudder when I think of the stupid things I did in my 20s. Glad you’re safe; glad he was a nice person.

Now don’t ever do anything like that again!

HRH2020 · 14/12/2019 15:34

Are you going to see him again?!

Gretafamily · 14/12/2019 15:44

I done the same sort of thing in my early 20’s as well, OP. I stopped drinking when I was about 23 (am 32 now) as I was getting myself in very dangerous situations but luckily nothing happened to me. Good that you are realising that it was dangerous :)

SpiderCharlotte · 14/12/2019 15:44

@Tryingtoslim well a positive has come out of the situation then, if you recognise that. Do you know where to go for support with your drinking? 💐

Macca84 · 14/12/2019 15:49

Spider is a troll and most her posts on other threads have been deleted as she's generally bitchy. Ignore, clearly zero in life to do other than to be spiteful.

Hope you're ok OP!

billy1966 · 14/12/2019 15:54

Good for you OP, if this is a wake up call for you.
You potentially put yourself in massive, life changing danger.
He sounds like a lovely man.
Nothing wrong with messaging him a sincere thank you and ask him would he like to meet up.for a coffee.

You were very lucky.
Make the most of it and take better care of yourself next time.
Oh, and your friends sound like prats.

💐

ClinkyMonkey · 14/12/2019 15:55

Listen to your mum OP!!

Loopytiles · 14/12/2019 15:58

I binge drank way, way too often at your age, not good.

Message him to apologise, and avoid alcohol until you’ve reflected on your alcohol issues.

Red flag about your friends too!

AiryFairy1 · 14/12/2019 16:02

Glad you’re ok OP! My skin crawls to think of the foolish (similar) things I did in my 20s... this sounds like it’s been a good wake up call.

Bluntness100 · 14/12/2019 16:06

My daughter is 22. She says she would not classify this as a date, nor encourage her mate to get in a car with a stranger when off her face. She doesn't think her friends, male or female would disagree with her on that or differ. I agree with her, And she's no goody two shoes, happily going clubbing till morning.

So I think this is more about your social circle than representative of your age group, I'm sorry.

Your friends encouraging you to get in some strangers car whilst off your tits, and letting you go off with him, is a sign they are either incredibly stupid or don't give a shit about your safety.

Spanielmadness · 14/12/2019 16:14

15 years or so ago I was very drunk, came out of a club and was due to meet my b/f who was meeting me a few streets away. A car pulled up and some guys asked if I was ok. I told them the situation and they told me to hop in and they’d drop me there. I was extremely lucky that they did just that. I look back in this now with horror and relief they were nice guys. Just don’t do it again.

northernknickers · 14/12/2019 16:18

I would be really upset if I thought either of my daughters were doing things like this. Not only are you putting yourself at huge personal risk, but you are potentially setting your family up for a devastating loss.

Time to reassess your lifestyle.

Pepperwand · 14/12/2019 16:23

When I was in my early 20s a friend of mine came out of a club in the early hours and got into what she thought was a taxi. It wasn't, it was some predatory bloke sitting in his car and he drove her to a secluded spot and then raped her. These horror stories DO happen and you put yourself in an incredibly vulnerable situation last night. I did many similar, utterly stupid things when I was younger and I shudder now thinking of what could have happened. Use this as a wake up call and I would have a good think about your social circle as those people absolutely do not sound like friends, they should have been looking out for you and they let you down when you couldn't look after yourself.