What does depression and anxiety feel like to you?

[passthetea]

I've had to come off citalopram because of awful side affects, my doctor wants me to have a blood test before trying something else. I thought the meds weren't working because I didn't feel any better after starting them 6 months ago, but in the last two weeks of being on nothing I can feel myself deteriorating fast, and I can I just feel awful.

What does it feel like to you?

I just want to sleep all the time. It's the only time I don't feel utterly worthless.

It feels like the only thing that will ease it is death. But that I am not worthy enough to die and end the pain.

Depression: I wake up every morning thinking "I can't believe I have to go through another day" and there's a feeling of a cloud of darkness constantly pulling me down.

Anxiety: an irrational worry about something, and get a tightness inside me

And also that I am a burden to everyone and they would be better off without me and my troubles

Anxiety; a sinking feeling in my chest. Even when I’m doing something fun, I sometimes have a wave of anxious thoughts and it hits me and then I cannot think of anything else.

Depression for me was like being trapped in a stretchy glass box that moved with me, but stopped me engaging with anything properly. It was all behind the glass. So what was the point in trying? It was also very bleak, very grey. Empty.

Depression: trapped, separate from the world, utterly hopeless, empty, constantly on the verge of tears, wanting everything to stop, seeing no possibility of things ever being different. Thoughts of wanting to kill myself multiple times a day with no trigger.
Anxiety: crushing panic, racing heart, shaking, can’t settle or concentrate, want to scream/ hide, constantly worrying “what if”, feeling a fake about to be discovered., sick, dizzy.

Anxiety is physical sensations for me. Churning stomach, feeling of a lump in my throat, wanting to gag, butterflies. Also disrupted sleep and restlessness.

Depression generally felt like nothing. I didnt feel anything just numb to everything and everyone. Anxiety is much harder to explain, I guess it was constantly being on edge, looking for things to go wrong. Not wanting to do anything because more than likely go wrong but not really being aware of it just not wanting to do things and then getting frustrated with myself.

Depression: overwhelming worthlessness & self loathing.
Anxiety: waking at 4am full of panic about stuff I have to do (that other people find everyday & easy). And procrastinating over doing that stuff because the decision-making involved in completing it is, again, overwhelming.
It's taken all my life to realise that although the depression feels worst, it's the anxiety that has most impact on my life.

Both the worst feeling imaginable. More painful than giving birth with no pain relief.

Most of these are linked to depression rather than anxiety, I think, but I find it hard to separate them. Been on citalopram for a few years.
Lethargic, don’t want to go out socially - but when I do I usually enjoy it and feel like it’s done me good.
I can while away hours on mumsnet or Facebook, but concentrating on books or tv is more difficult.
A sense of relief when I go to bed - because I don’t have to think or do anything for the next few hours. Although actually I have very vivid dreams.
I’m tired all the time. And I don’t have much stamina so having to be out of the house for a few hours really takes a toll on me.
The house is a complete tip. I keep on top of the basics, the washing, the cooking, the washing up. But it’s very cluttered and never has a deep clean.
Haven’t worked for a few years and I really need to find a job as I’m broke but it all seems like too much effort. My self esteem is on the floor and I’m not sure I’ll be able to get one, or if I did, to hold it down. I used to be quite a high flyer but now I feel like even a very basic job will be a challenge.
Depression sucks!

An ocean of darkness covering me. The tide recedes and sometimes I feel ok... but then it always comes back in again.

I find it so hard to describe, I think I just struggle to identify it because it was such a huge part of me for so long that it felt normal. I dont feel in control of anything and everything just feels fragile. Stress and short tempered. I become someone I dont like.

Waking up every morning dreading the day ahead. Wanting to sleep all the time. Feeling no pleasure in anything. Watching people at work joking and laughing and feeling like crying. It's awful.

Depression: Like I was in a long deep dark tunnel with no end. I would wake up thinking "i can't do this". I felt worthless and did not deserve happiness. Always crying or on the verge. No appetite and didn't want to eat as I didn't deserve to eat. Heavy, tired, in a bubble with ear muffs on.

Anxiety: Constant feeling of dread. I would wake up each day with the feeling like I had my driving test. Always feeling sick or have butterflies, feeling dizzy and headachy and the thought of being out in public made me short of breath to the point of panic attacks.

I have what is described as panic disorder. Pretty much a fear of having panic attacks, of with I've had many over the last 30 years.

Been on cilitapam for 10 years and occasionally take diazepam when times are really bad.

I'm not an anxious person in general, which might sound crazy. I'm one of these people that other people are always surprised have 'anxiety'.

I feel like I'm dying or I'm about to. That also makes me feel like I'm mad at times.. but generally know it's a physical response to my breathing and can manage mostly.

Depression and anxiety must be awful. Massive love for anyone experiencing both.

in one word, inertia.

more words, i feel like i poison everything i touch by being very very instinctively manipulative out of fear. and don't worry, it always backfires on me.

i am also very familiar with the sensation of not wanting to be anywhere. not wishing i was asleep, or dead, or on holiday or in some fantastical scenario. just no source of comfort to be found.. stewing in the same sour air etc..

happily I'm currently taking an SSRI that agrees with me and I'm very level headed as a result.. a huge relief after 15 or so years of agony and bad avoidant decisions.

To me sleep is the only way to escape it but then I’m disappointed when I wake up and face it over again.

The darkest depression is the complete loss of hope. Also, depression makes me want to lean in, I actively want to sink into it.

Depression to me is being really annoyed at myself and deeply irritated by say the pile of washing on the chair but lacking the actual drive or energy to do anything about it.
General greyness. Irritability with everyone but mostly with myself. General self loathing. Not wanting to get up and do things that I know I have to such as go to work. At my worst I don't do these this then hate myself even more.

Anxiety is classic panic attacks at worst. Low level is a weird fizzy feeling like excitement but not positive-negative excitement iyswim? And just hugely over fixating on things.

Anxiety the fear of dying.
Depression the fear of living.

So sorry to hear everyone's story 😔 it's such a a horrible place to be in.

I'm very much like you @Papergirl1968.
My parents are always inviting me to go to theres for dinner, I know there trying to get me out of the house and they mean well but I have no desire at all to leave the comfort of my own home. I've completely lost my friends as they've stopped inviting me to occasions/nights out because they know what the answer will be..
I have 5 children between the ages of 3-17, the 3 teens can sort themselves out to degree but the two youngest rely on me so I'm forced to do the school run, put on a face for them and be their mum but in all honesty I've lost the joy in them and I know that is such an awful thing to say,but the thought of having to drag myself out of bed and face the world when all I want to do is become in Invisible is exhausting me beyond belief. My eldest was talking to me today about when we should start the gym together and was trying to come up with a date in January when we should start and in my head I'm thinking "huh if I'm still here by then" I don't have sucidal thoughts but that's just my thinking these days. Like I can't make plans because I could be dead by then, everything's just so negative.

so many typos.

Depression for me felt like that feeling when you’re on a horrendous day out and you’re stressed and having a shit time and just want to go home. Only you’re not on a day out, you’re living a normal day and you are home. I felt heavy and my head felt full and everything was just so overwhelming.

On the antidepressants I just felt cloudy and foggy and numb.

On the plus side, I’m ok now. It’s taken time and I still have bad days but generally I’m up and functioning and ok. I’m due dd3 in April so I’m hoping to avoid PND but I’ll make sure we’re fully prepared for it anyway.

There is light at the end of the tunnel OP. It doesn’t feel like it but there is x