What does depression and anxiety feel like to you?

[passthetea]

I've had to come off citalopram because of awful side affects, my doctor wants me to have a blood test before trying something else. I thought the meds weren't working because I didn't feel any better after starting them 6 months ago, but in the last two weeks of being on nothing I can feel myself deteriorating fast, and I can I just feel awful.

What does it feel like to you?

hi @passthetea please hang in there. new medication could make a huge difference to your outlook. hoping you find some peace soon.

Literally underwater & cannot reach the surface to breath

Other times incredibly paranoid like the world is judging me & I can't get it right.

Passthetea, going out for a walk most days used to help me. Don’t seem to have the energy for that any more.
Don’t like meeting in big groups, but then again I never really have enjoyed that. It’s easier one to one with a close friend.

Incredibly lonely.

Can I ask if anyone on here has been successful in claiming benefit such as ESA due to depression and anxiety? I did look into it but it seemed as if you had to be barely functioning to qualify.
My income has dropped to virtually nil since I had to put dd2 into care due to her being beyond my control. That has made the depression worse and the lack of money is causing my anxiety to rocket.
I don’t feel well enough to get a job but I just can’t seem to find a benefit I’d qualify for.

Anxiety is what I have a tendency to struggle with, & it is so hard to describe. It manifests itself in anger, irritation, indecision, worrying about anything & everything, resentment towards those closest to me. It's like a race against time for me, time is my big trigger, I feel like I'm constantly late for something & someone will hate me for it. Leaving the house takes forever, mostly because I can't decide what to wear in case it's bad luck if I wear the wrong thing or people judge me, will I look stupid? Will I be too hot? Too cold? Which tights shall I wear? Which skirt? Will those boots work? All small decisions that rationally don't matter. It's so frustrating! I still don't feel like I've articulated what it is!

@MidnightCircus described it exactly how I describe it.
It’s like walking around with a big bubble around you. You are ‘there’ but not actually participating. You just want to be at home by yourself. Even if that thing is something you should be enjoying.
Also, I knew I was clinically depressed when one evening I was led in the bath, and thought to myself: “if someone walked in now and said someone had died/you have just won the lottery”, I would have felt nothing. Absolutely nothing.
I didn’t want to die, but I didn’t want to live, either.

Yes southernbelles I do that.

With depression I just want to withdraw from everybody. Even though I know it makes it worse.

Thanks for the thread OP. Sometimes I have read things about depression, eg Matt Haig’s book and I can’t identify with the experiences at all and it makes me feel 10x worse. But I identify with some of these and it makes you feel less alone.

Depression - feeling like I'm in a bubble, there but can't see or hear clearly. Everything feels far away and disconnected. Numbness, lack of energy or drive after the essentials are done (work). Choosing sleep over showers

Anxiety - panic attacks for no reason, sometimes for silly reasons. Feeling on edge but not knowing why is probably the most frustrating part. I can deal with being on edge when I know why but not knowing why or when it's going to end is exhausting. Feeling like an imposter and that people are talking about me being my back

Thank you @MerryDeath I'm hoping so too.

@Papergirl1968 I can't seem the motivation to do anything right now, but I know if I did go for a walk I'd enjoy it,it's just finding the energy to get up an go

I know passthetea, no energy, no motivation, just apathy...

Panic disorder, regular genuine fear of heart attacks and subsequent death. Depression is like having a sheet of glass between me and the world. Zero energy or motivation. Not good enough to really do anything. Suicidal thoughts but not acting on this due to knowing I would be a massive embarrassment to my family.

Feeling trapped in hell, and that operating on loop like groundhog day. Barely operating beyond taking kids to school, worrying that I've damaged them beyond belief due to my poor mental health, not really connecting with others for fear that they will see how much of a failure I am as a human being. I flit in and out of this state, sometimes I feel like there's light out of here, and then I re-enter the dark and everything just slides. Thank you for this thread though, I find it really helpful to remind myself that this state is still part of human existence, even though it's pretty shit.