Things that are getting right on my tits recently

[KrampusTime]

Selfies
People who give their pets middle names
Christmas socks/jumpers/pyjamas/eve box wankery
Tory propaganda fake posts
The shitey fucking constant cold rain
Commuters having fucking loud phone conversations near me.

That's better. Sorry. Feel free to add.

Chuggers. Cannot frigging move for them at the moment and they've given me major charity fatigue. Also 'fundraisers' who feel the need to remind everyone on social media that they're doing so, constantly, I find it vulgar, it's all about them and their need for constant praise. You want to raise money for charity fine just go and do it quietly and stop shouting about it.

People having no fucking manners or decency.

Periods (so over it)

People voting Tory even though the lies are obvious (I’m really worried about our eventual safety as a nation, don’t @ me)

Calories can do one

Dh leaves bits of food in the sink, this enrages me

Feeling hopeless is quite a pisser

Ultimately the most irritating thing in my life is MY OWN BRAIN though

People sniffing loudly on trains, blow your fucking nose!

I gave the cats middle names that I didn’t use on children. And my surname. When the vets called dh they call him Mr thesquirrel (I didn’t change my name). It amuses me.

People thinking their bag deserves a seat on the train more than I do. My death stare has been perfected

You want to raise money for charity fine just go and do it quietly and stop shouting about it

^^

Yup

People with pushchairs trying to get on the exit door of the bus before letting passengers get off. Ditto people trying to get in lifts before letting people exit. Do they genuinely not realise that it is easier for them,and the people exiting,to wait until they're out?

Dickhead drivers

People asking me if I’m ready for Christmas

The rain and mud

Getting paid early knowing January is going to be shite

Feeling like I have to buy bollocks I can’t afford for Xmas because there is nothing decent in the shops

Having to ask my boyfriend who I live with for money because I’m a student now despite having previously lent him 5k

People expecting me to blow my nose instead of sniffing. You REALLY don’t want to hear the sneezes that would follow.

People who normally drive but are on the bus. Yes, the bus is slow and stops. Get over it!

Bastardly energy company sales people who think it is acceptable to ask me who my supplier is.

The election.
JC suggesting that the NHS is up for sale continually as he has no credible policies that wouldn't bankrupt the UK in 6 months.
Boris Johnson being Boris Johnson.
People being flakey over Christmas plans.
DH being bored of his job.
The cat wanting to be fed all the time as she's annoyed with the weather being horrible.
The weather being horrible.
There being no vol-au-vent cases in my branch of Sainsbury's.

The fact the buses in my town go down to an hourly service after 6pm and the only two buses that go to my house are scheduled 10 mins apart - meaning there's a 50 min gap between buses.

Because apparently everyone gets the bus home from work between 5-6pm according to Stagecoach

My dh hardly ever answering his phone even tho he seems to be on it rather a lot.
I assume it's hard for him to answer at work but then he told me two.collegues get calls.from their wives all day. I never call unless it's urgent but he never flipping answers.
I've told him.its becoming a bit of a.deal.breaker when I got locked.out the other day and couldn't get hold.of him all day to collect one.

My 2019 round up.

Things that fuck me off.

Work
Headlights that are so bright they burn your retinas.
Tories
BBC news department
The fact that I can't be arsed to lose weight.
Fussy eating children.
Trump

Alternatively things that make me laugh.

Matt Hancock's erection and the Twitter comments. I was crying.
twitter.com/SoozUK/status/1204681154168795137?s=19

My heroes

Graham Linehan
Hugh Grant
Greta Thunberg
Dale Vince
Suzy Dent

Villains

Laura Kuenssberg
Robert Peston
Rachel Riley

Real life stuff :

NDN endless shouting and consumptive cough

Confused about the relationship I want

The never ending war with facial hair

My toxic sister

Mumsnet Stuff :

People popping up on nearly every thread saying "is this the new cancel the cheque? " no dear morons asking this question is the new cancel the cheque.

Thread police :

Look Guys stop asking about Y when the OP is asking X it's not fair...Who died and made you the boss of what other people post Jog The Fuck On

It's All About Me's :

Am I The Only One Who ? - 7 billion humans I fucking doubt it

Why is Normal Thing A Thing When I Don't Like It?

Because the world doesn't revolve around you.

Why do people vote X when I vote Y?

Because oddly enough no one is obliged to agree with you

And Finally :

The really bizarre increase in

Won't Somebody Think Of The Menfolk?

My DH is Very Important and He Said And Therefore

Make it stop

Parents sitting in cars outside the schools we pass and the school my children attend. They make it virtually impossible to cross the road and they drive onto the pavement to make room for their precious vehicles because they aren't supposed to be parked there.

The kids from the secondary we pass who like to walk four abreast on the pavement and huff when I don't fling myself and my kids into a hedge to let them through.

All the berks who have bought Christmas trees too early leaving a piss poor selection for me to buy. I hope all their needles drop off by Christmas Eve Eve.

The bloody election, the Tories in particular.
Having to go out and teach two Pilates classes this evening. It’s freezing cold outside and I am absolutely knackered and still fighting off a cold virus which has morphed into earache and another sinus headache. Oh, and have to go out for festive drinks after, I want to feel awake and well and enjoy it all, instead I am shattered and feel like shit and want to go to bed.
Feels good to actually say it! Off to jump in a hot shower and try and wake myself up.

The dark
The neighbours fucking dogs being loose and jumping up at me dirtying my work clothes
The dark
Go outdoors. Why do I have to pay £5 for a fucking discount card and why didn't you tell me this before I had selected armfuls of new stuff?
The dark

Having to decide what to have for tea every night.
Laundry.
Boris “I’m in the fridge” Johnson.
The dark.
The cold.
The rain.

Christmas can fuck right off as well just now!

Two faced people
Liars
Heartburn
Being made to fell guilty that I have a job/nice life.
Advice on what I'm doing wrong as a mum.
Spd.
Wanting a quickie but I'm too pregnant and unimaginative to work how to do it.

Well today it’s pretty much EVERYONE I KNOW . I’ve always been somewhat aware that I tend to be the researcher/planner/booker/organiser with my family and a number of friends but today just took the biscuit! Multiple messages from DM, sis, sil and a friend wanting to check things like what time does it start again?, which restaurant did you book again?, what day is it we’re doing x?, which bus did you say gets us there?. Ffs I thought my brain would explode! Sounds petty BUT:

I booked the event months ago and didn’t commit every flippin detail to memory.
The event is a week away so there is no urgent need for this information.
If they feel there is an urgent need to know they could scroll back through their WhatsApp messages OR check the email I sent to all of them with all details.
I’m in work. I’m the ONLY ONE OF US who works full time.

It’s been the same for everything organised for the last few months but they’re getting worse and honestly I felt like telling them all to just piss off. I’ve made up my mind that I’m just going to stop now. No more taking responsibility for this stuff, no more being the retainer of all details so other people don’t have to bother, I am done!

People asking me if I’m ready for Christmas

^

Shit I just asked someone this

Adding another menus with dishes that need googling. Maybe I'm just uncultured though.

Ooh lovely, I'm glad this is still going and I'm not the only winter/Xmas hating bitch.

On a happier note I just got home in the cold and wet after my bullshit commute, and my lovely cat was waiting at the door and came running up to me to give me a nice snuggly headbutt. He's about the only thing not fucking me off today. ❤️

Now let's resume bitching.

People who give their pets middle names

What?! I’ll admit I’m one G&T down but this sounds like an awesome idea. As soon as I get a pet I am giving it a middle name.