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Original poster

Would you be offended by this

35 replies

busyweeks78 · 10/12/2019 17:25

I see a psychiatrist for various mental health problems. When I went to see her on Monday she said she was concerned that I looked underweight. I’m currently struggling with food however I don’t feel she should bring it up and should wait for the patient to talk about it.

OP posts:
Bunnybigears · 10/12/2019 17:26

Surely she is there to help you, not ignore physical problems or symptoms until you bring them up. She was providing an opening for you to talk to her about it.

StillWeRise · 10/12/2019 17:27

no I wouldn't be offended
she is concerned about you, she was right to mention it

misspiggy19 · 10/12/2019 17:28

She was right to ask you about it. I don’t see why you are offended.

Pinkshoelace · 10/12/2019 17:29

I probably wouldn't be offended, no.

You might be the sort of person who is open and able to talk about things comfortably, but other patients she will have dealt with in the past possibly won't be.

With that in mind, I think she has a duty of care towards you and is probably obligated to raise any issues with you that she is concerned about. Otherwise it might never get discussed at all.

I hope your treatment works for you.

CAG12 · 10/12/2019 17:31

Ok worst case scenario - you had an eating disorder, she waited for you to bring it up, you never did and became hospitalised. Better for her to bring it up now no?

jamdhanihash · 10/12/2019 17:32

You feeling offended at this might be a symptom of how you're feeling more generally. She's just trying to take care of you. I hope you feel better soon Thanks. Please tell her how her comment made you feel.

PurpleDaisies · 10/12/2019 17:33

No, she is a medical professional worried about your eating. It’s a totally reasonable question.

KatherineJaneway · 10/12/2019 17:33

I wouldn't be offended. She is there to help me and that is what she was doing.

DesMartinsPetCat · 10/12/2019 17:34

I don’t feel she should bring it up and should wait for the patient to talk about it

A psychiatrist is a trained medical doctor and needs to address health concerns when they see them.

If she had seen a strange mole on you that concerned her, would you expect her to say something or wait until you bring it up?

Spied · 10/12/2019 17:34

I think she was correct in being honest with you.
It's obviously touched a nerve. I would also be offended if I had issues around food.
I think you need to be completely honest if you want to get the most from your therapy.

Savingforarainyday · 10/12/2019 17:37

She's your actual therapist. Part of the idea is that you talk about MH issues that are affecting you. So that you get better....

Fifteenthnamechange · 10/12/2019 17:37

A person's presentation will often give a lot of clues about what might be happening in their life.
So while I u derstand why the comment may be difficult for u it's likely she's just showing concern about weight loss & potential eating issues Thanks

custardbear · 10/12/2019 17:42

She sounds like a good therapist to be honest. I hope you Get the help you need.

wheresmymojo · 10/12/2019 17:42

Agree with PP - no, she's not a counsellor she's a medical professional and it's entirely within her remit to pick up on any external cues that might be important including changes in weight.

eeyore228 · 10/12/2019 17:45

You can’t expect her to ignore things that may be directly impacting upon your mental health or that might upset you. Sometimes the hardest part of overcoming mental health issues is learning to deal with things that make you feel upset in a more constructive way.

heartsonacake · 10/12/2019 17:48

Of course she should bring it up. She’s there to deal with your problems and issues, and she’s noticed one you need to tackle.

Original poster
busyweeks78 · 10/12/2019 17:57

I’m only around ten pounds underweight so I’m not majorly so.

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 10/12/2019 18:11

That’s the best part of a stone.

Is that 10lbs under the bottom of the bmi range for your height?

Gonewiththemadness · 10/12/2019 18:16

I have personally struggled with disordered eating/an eating disorder and I can honestly say poorly me would have been offended yes. It was mentioned to me a few times about how “skinny” ect I’d become and I felt defensive and annoyed about it. (Although of course I just laughed it off to them).
I eventually sought help myself but my therapist at the time said that if I hadn’t have done it she would have had to and said she was very glad that I had helped myself.
Well me now would not be offended. It is out of concern and care especially when a person is a part of your care.
I understand completely how intrusive it feels but it really isn’t meant in any way other than care and concern for you.

ohwheniknow · 10/12/2019 18:19

Your weight is part of her assessment.

Stompythedinosaur · 10/12/2019 18:36

It is fully appropriate for someone doing a mental health assessment to consider and ask about your weight.

rhubarbcrumbles · 10/12/2019 18:38

No, they are trying to help you.

riotlady · 10/12/2019 18:50

I think if your psychiatrist is asking about it you need to take her concerns seriously

DragonontheWagon · 10/12/2019 18:51

They're a psychiatrist not a counsellor so no I wouldn't be offended. They are extremely highly qualified doctors.

MikeUniformMike · 10/12/2019 18:59

I am right at the low end of the normal BMI range but am definitely a lot thinner than I should be. If I was 10 lbs lighter I would look scarily ill.