Spending a long weekend with a family with *very* different political opinions from mine. Strategies please!!

[RookieHole]

This weekend my PILs are visiting. They have very very different political opinions from mine and it's going to be a bastarding nightmare given the election on Thursday.

Me and my DP also have quite different views but generally rub along okay and do lots of agreeing to disagree.

But my PILs are a different story. They don't accept that people have different opinions but are adamant that they're right and those with opposing views are wrong. They have all the facts, those with opposing views have just been brainwashed. You get the picture.

Anyway, I can't just say 'shall we have another drink' every single time politics gets mentioned or I'll need a stomach pump by Friday night.

What I need are stock phrases to divert the conversation away from politics or mantras to tell myself to stop me doing a murder in the dead of night.

Please help!

Play bingo for expected phrases in your head? Or a drinking game!

Sometimes feigning enthusiasm (oh, do tell me more! innocent eyelash flutter) can work although sometimes that is a terrible idea.

My mother's favourite topics are the ill health of her friends. That can take a good couple of hours.

Otherwise lots of non-committal noises and getting up to make another cup of tea. Be like Teflon.

You could take refuge in the fact your FIL thinks you should be in the kitchen. Sod the snarky comments if it works in your favour.

I can't help. We visited our very republican in-laws just before they voted trump in. When I tried to deflect the conversation away from politics at the party they threw for us the first alternative conversation for everyone was which bible study classes they'd been to. I had nothing to offer.

We have a dickhead boss. When he's spouting forth, one of my colleagues does a glance to the side a la fleabag. In their head they're saying hmm or whatever or something like that, pretending they are phoebe waller-bridge talking to the camera.

Oh dear, this remains me of the pleasant taxi journey I had on the morning of Trump's election.

"What dae ye make of that Donald Trump? I like him. Wanna know why? Because he's going to get rid of ISIS!"

Meanwhile I'm just sitting in the back saying "uh huh... yep... oh no definitely... interesting times ahead..." 😐

I feel like me hiding in the kitchen would lead PIL (FIL especially) to the conclusion that I'd finally accepted my rightful role

Oh you are raising the bar OP .

What you need is a new dh or atleast new pils, that or a jack hammer.

How about inviting people round? Or having a (succession of) friend drop round to pick up something/drop off something important and urgent? Dilutes it all for a few hours and people usually become more moderate in the presence of strangers?

Do you have any errands to run? Tip run? Stuff for charity shop to be dropped off? A colonoscopy you forgot about?

Say it’s bad manners to discuss religion or politics.

There is smile and nod. The less information you give them, the less they can complain about or try to change your mind.

Make a game of avoiding their probing. See how often you can deflect them with a well timed open question.

They will like you more for it and you haven't given them any ammunition. Win win

As soon as they arrive, I’d say something like-‘last night was a bloody shambles wasn’t it-I’m declaring this weekend a politics-free zone!’ and then I would stand up and leave the room if they mentioned it again.

Do they like Strictly? One subject that comes to mind. Or some other reality show?

Do you have a bird feeder? I find pointing out of the window and going "Oh look, a blue tit!"" can be quite useful.

It’s December, so you can just shout ‘Don’t come in here!!’ and they’ll assume you’re wrapping presents. Are they coming after xmas? Still works. ‘Yeah, I’m wrapping stuff for my meet-up with friends. Yes, it’ll take all day! Fucking tories, eh?’ Throw that grenade in there and leave 😄
Just do grey rock with them, bare minimal replies, ‘mm’ ‘hm?’ bored, minimal eye contact, yawn, no ammunition, no attention. If they choose to dominate everyone with their inane wittering after being told to NOT DO THAT, just opt out entirely.

Before they arrive, dh tells them no politics. If fil starts, tell him you were told ‘no politics’. If he persists, repeat. If he still persists, tell him you asked nicely, now you’re going out because can’t do something simple that you’ve asked for. Leave the house. Have a bath, go read in your room.

Really want to know how it's going, OP. Pretend this is an emergency work email or a friend in crisis :)

Board games and quizzes are the solution in our house.

OhmyfuckingGOD OP. I fear we have the same FIL.

We have a big house, as do they. Visits involve me “working” quite a lot or catching up with “vital work related reading”.

I also just get up and walk out when he talks about politics.

We hardly spend time together and often DH takes the kids to see PIL without me. Again, work often ties me up at the weekend....

Just don’t engage, I have very different political views to my whole family (DH, DS, parents & siblings ), I just refuse to discuss politics with any of them.

I really miss my DMIL, she and I had the closest political views.

We had an amusing christmas in the run up to the Scottish Referendum in 2014.
Uncle-in-law (if thats a thing) got bladdered, leaned across the table at DH and slurred "Your my nephew. And i love you. But if this comes to a civil war. And it WILL....I will shoot you without hesitation"
MIL tried to distract from the situation by offering around glazed carrots.
I almost pissed myself laughing.
The following summer we had another big family get together and Uncle-in-law was mouthing off about how "You women think your so oppressed but its men that have to die in wars"
I said "I don't know what your upset about. You seemed really into the idea of wars at christmas"

Hello

I thought I'd update you all on how it went.

DP declared it a politics-free zone as soon as they arrived. It was all okay for a while. Then it descended into things like "I'm not talking politics, I know we said we wouldn't talk politics but Labour .... yadda yadda"

Most politic points were started with "Well I was reading in the Mail..."

I just nodded and smiled and kept repeating "Well I don't agree but "

Fortunately they're myopic and self-centred to actually have zero interest in anyone else's opinion so I didn't actually have to explain why I didn't agree.

Thankfully we won't see them now until next Xmas

Gosh, well done. You found something that kind of worked. Glad they weren't the 'insistently trying to make you see the light' types.

@CanISpeakToYourManager Oh they're not really 'make you see the light' types so much as 'tell you you're an idiot because you have a different opinion from me' types.

Once DP gave them an eloquent, reasoned, evidence-based argument as to why he is anti-monarchy. FIL's responses was 'well, yes, that's because everything you believe is wrong because you're reading the wrong things and you don't have enough life experience'

'Good point, Mum, now I understand!'

Airhorn! Anytime it's mentioned give it honk. Alternatively have an agreement that the person who mentions politics has to drop 50p in a tin. The contents get donated to a charity that supports their opposing view at the end of the visit. One charity chosen by you and DH the other by you PIL. (Make sure you choose one that will really get on their tits)

Tell them the Queen doesn’t allow discussions about politics or religion & you are doing the same.