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Original poster

Spending a long weekend with a family with *very* different political opinions from mine. Strategies please!!

53 replies

RookieHole · 10/12/2019 13:18

This weekend my PILs are visiting. They have very very different political opinions from mine and it's going to be a bastarding nightmare given the election on Thursday.

Me and my DP also have quite different views but generally rub along okay and do lots of agreeing to disagree.

But my PILs are a different story. They don't accept that people have different opinions but are adamant that they're right and those with opposing views are wrong. They have all the facts, those with opposing views have just been brainwashed. You get the picture.

Anyway, I can't just say 'shall we have another drink' every single time politics gets mentioned or I'll need a stomach pump by Friday night.

What I need are stock phrases to divert the conversation away from politics or mantras to tell myself to stop me doing a murder in the dead of night.

Please help!

OP posts:
midsomermurderess · 10/12/2019 13:26

Agree to put politics aside for the duration. Lots of other things you could chat about aren't there?

leghairdontcare · 10/12/2019 13:29

Yeah, agree not to talk about it. I had to do this for Christmas last year - banned brexit talk in the house for the day.

If anyone tries it, just repeat "we're talking a break from politics for the weekend" and change the subject.

Original poster
RookieHole · 10/12/2019 13:32

That's a good approach but I fear it won't work. FIL in particular is always very keen to ensure his perspective is heard.

OP posts:
BiddyPop · 10/12/2019 13:34

Declare the weekend to be a politics free zone on their arrival?

Honeybee85 · 10/12/2019 13:36

Agree to not talk about it.

That’s the only thing that works apart from agreeing to disagree on some views.

And keep in mind Voltaire’s saying:
‘I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it’

Enjoy your weekend away!

gothefcktosleep · 10/12/2019 13:37

I managed not to engage with my dad this weekend by slapping a stupid grin on my face and pretending to be vacant inside... not sure if that helps.

Bluerussian · 10/12/2019 13:37

What everyone else says; be firm, politics not on the menu while they are staying.

leghairdontcare · 10/12/2019 13:38

FIL in particular is always very keen to ensure his perspective is heard.

He can have a fun weekend talking to himself then.

BertrandRussell · 10/12/2019 13:41

We banned politics so effectively that it was 2 years before I discovered that my mil was actually a Remainer, not the leave voter I assumed her to be!

BuzzShitbagBobbly · 10/12/2019 13:41

They don't accept that people have different opinions but are adamant that they're right and those with opposing views are wrong. They have all the facts, those with opposing views have just been brainwashed.

Sign them up to MN - sounds like they'll fit right in!

Honeybee85 · 10/12/2019 13:41

Buy your FIL a hand mirror and tell him to use it in case he needs to vent about his political views to someone.

Original poster
RookieHole · 10/12/2019 13:41

He can have a fun weekend talking to himself then

This man could have a row in a phone box with no fucking money so you're not far off the mark with this.

@Honeybee85 Unfortunately we're not away, they're coming to stay with us. My only escape will be super-long dog walks. My poor elderly arthritic dog will hate me Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
RookieHole · 10/12/2019 13:42

@BuzzShitbagBobbly Grin

OP posts:
BuzzShitbagBobbly · 10/12/2019 13:44

My only escape will be super-long dog walks. My poor elderly arthritic dog will hate me

Can you "super-long dog walk" to a local dog friendly cafe and ensconce yourself there with a good book?

Honeybee85 · 10/12/2019 13:48

@RookieHole

That’s even better. If he gets too annoying, asking him to fetch you something from the attic/basement and lock the door whilst he is inside. Don’t let him out until he promises to not talk about politics during the rest of the weekend.
Don’t forget to leave some food, water and a toilet (bucket) in the said space as he might be too obsessed over his own ideas and decide that the alternative of staying inside and talking to himself is actually much better.

Original poster
RookieHole · 10/12/2019 13:49

The only dog-friendly cafe is a couple of miles walk from me and my dog would never make it on her rickety old legs. I don't drive so no other way to get there.

OP posts:
AxeOfKindness · 10/12/2019 14:19

"Perhaps"
"There's a thought"
"Oh right"

All of these have the glorious advantage of sounding politely noncommittal to the person you're speaking to while being fully translateable into a tone of deepest sarcasm in your head.

Original poster
RookieHole · 10/12/2019 14:21

@AxeOfKindness Good suggestions, thank you Grin

OP posts:
theoriginalmadambee · 10/12/2019 15:42

A simple 'if you say so' and change of subject.

If he cannot be stopped, I would lock myself into the kitchen 'making an intricate meal' or in a room 'wrapping presents'. Remember a book and your poor dog and let your dh get on with it Smile.

Original poster
RookieHole · 10/12/2019 16:54

If he cannot be stopped, I would lock myself into the kitchen 'making an intricate meal' or in a room 'wrapping presents'

My PILs have very traditional ideas about men's and women's roles in life so I make extra special effort not to be in the kitchen or doing any form of wife work. I feel like me hiding in the kitchen would lead PIL (FIL especially) to the conclusion that I'd finally accepted my rightful role as a wife and woman. Ugh.

OP posts:
StillWeRise · 10/12/2019 16:59

in that case, disappear to do some very complicated DIY

GingleJangleScarecrow · 10/12/2019 17:02

When they arrive just say that your house is a politics free zone for the duration of their stay and that anyone who doesn't comply can just go and stand in the garden.

I don't live in the UK so the dreaded B word is a favourite topic among the immigrant ex-pat community. Drives me nuts. My house, my rules.

SingingLily · 10/12/2019 17:04

"We sent off our postal votes last week so it's all academic to us now. What do you think of..." [introduce another topic on which PIL likes to expound his expert knowledge but doesn't have the same resonance for you].

With my mother, it was easy. I just mentioned the Pope or the Royal Family or some other topic I wasn't really bothered about.

Nonnymum · 10/12/2019 17:10

When he brings it up can you try and leave the room, ignore what he says, shrug say hmmm or if you really have no choice but to respond say I disagree but don't want to discuss politics.
What does your DH think. Does he have similar views to you? Can you zone out and leave whim to deal with them

justdoityourself · 10/12/2019 17:16

Can't you suddenly develop a terrible virus and take to your bed for the weekend?